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Sample essay topic, essay writing: Birth Order - 1954 words
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.. iddle borns that complement each other's personality. When you put two middle borns together, you are not going to get an explosive combination as you will with two first borns since this is not that bad of a combination. Problems do arise however when two people spend their entire lives together comprising since that is what middle children do because they are masters of negotiation and compromise. This marriage will consist of playing down their feelings and then suddenly realizing that they are tired of never getting what they really want.
This compromising is the primary problem in a middle marriage. They let the problem, which may be minor in the beginning, build up and grow to the point where they become overwhelmed. It cannot be said that every middle born should get involved with a first, or last born, it can at least be said that there are simply some specific traits that middle borns need to look for in a mate. The traits that are desirable in a mate are; i) the person will be reliable and faithful, ii) the person is honest, iii) the relationship is something wanted, iv) his partner respects him and vice versa. (Leman 114) 'Youngest children .
are always the baby of the family' (Richardson 95) The families of the youngest may continue to baby these last borns beyond babyhood and even continue to introduce them as 'the baby' to adult friends. Youngest children are special members of the family in a way that the first born and the middle child are not. As a result of this 'special' place in the family, general characteristics of last borns are; They expect attention and therefore they tend to be the class clown and sometimes feel that they are not being taken seriously. The youngest tends to be fun-loving, affectionate, has a great sense of humour, and is the life of the party. Altogether, a youngest would have a great personality if he or she would show his or her serious and sensitive side. Last borns hate to be told that they are wrong.
They often have feelings of self doubt and insecurity. As a guard, last borns usually know where to hit people where it hurts despite their reputation of being the most popular sibling. (Adams 2, Anonymous 1) 'When youngest children are married to each other, they may appear irresponsible to others, as they don't take home making and childrearing too seriously. Youngests are more interested in having a good time themselves, and often do.' (Richardson 99). Last borns can be having such a good time that they get into debt or even lose their jobs. Therefore all these outside pressures cause some friction between the youngests. Youngest are not automatically too enthusiastic about having children, but they can be relaxed, enjoyable parents to have. They tend to be less concerned about the child's safety and achievements and have more of a 'laissez-faire' attitude to parenting. As a result some children may interpret this as their parent's lack of interest in them.
However, youngests are usually understanding parents and give their children more freedom. (Richardson 100) Youngest children who have been treated well as children are usually most sociable, easygoing, and popular of the birth orders. Since they are used to having at least three other people around since birth, they generally enjoy being in groups. Although, if they have been unkindly teased as the baby, they may be shy and irritable with others. Or if they are from a large family they may resent the lack of privacy and want to do everything in secret. (Richardson 107) Parents usually have fewer expectations of the youngest throughout childhood and put much less pressure on the youngest to achieve great things. As a result, as one might guess, youngests usually do achieve less.
Most youngests just get by as students and may be the class clown and/ or delinquent. They're the least career-oriented of the birth orders. They tend to look for work that is not too demanding, or something that will fit into their life of leisure activities. Most youngests know from the beginning that their parents are shared and they try to get attention by being different from the older siblings. Youngests look for ways to stand out and may do this most effectively by being a troublemaker. (Richardson 102)Youngests are most likely to be followers than leaders, so, if they happen to be in a leadership position, their followers will like them and their authority will not be taken too seriously.
Youngests tend to be happiest in jobs that involve social interaction with people and in work that involves the practical and concrete rather than the abstract. They may do well in business because of their ability to relate well to others. They do not want or can't control or criticize others; instead, they look for praise and encouragement. Last borns often feel at a loss or panicky if they are in a highly responsible position. They lack the self discipline required and often have difficulty making decisions since there was always someone older and wiser around to take care of things for them. Youngests tend to be risk takers all their life and appear to be fearless in their attempt to prove themselves strong and capable, so they are likely to take on dangerous jobs or invest in high risk financial ventures. (Richardson 104) Careers held mostly by last born children include; actors and actresses, movie critics, comedian, and sales representative. (Adams 2, Anonymous 1) The attitude 'we'll take care of tomorrow when tomorrow gets here' is that of last born children.
This attitude is what causes the most problems in a marriage consisting of two youngests. 'If a couple of last borns have to choose between having a good time and being responsible, you can almost count on that they are going to choose the good time. They are not the sort of people who will worry overly much about the consequences.' (Leman 171). A last born is a wonderful balance to the always serious first. The last born shows the first that life is not always deadly serious and that it is okay to have some laughs now and then.
The first on the other hand will help the last born to face up to responsibility, showing him or her that there are times when life is serious indeed, and it has to be treated that way. In this way a first and a last form a good team, and the two of them are able to have a balanced approach to life. If two lasts are together they are likely to feed off each other's fun and excitement, which can cause big problems. (Leman 171 - 173) Since only children are never displaced by younger siblings, they're never in the position of having to defend their position as the favoured child. They are more often considered special and precious by their parents than children with siblings.
Since they never have to share their parents, only children know their position in the family is assured no matter what. (Richardson 156) Despite not having any siblings to learn from or take after, general characteristics of only children are; they are more exaggerated versions of the oldest child. They are generally super responsible, confident and get along great with adults. Only children always want to be number one and demand perfection from oneself and from others. They are original and daring, conscientious and reliable, and sophisticated and independent.
(Anonymous 1) Since only children are not used to living intimately with other children, they often do not know how to cope with intimate relationships later in life. They may have difficulty accepting or understanding normal mood changes and inconsistencies in others. 'They haven't learned the fine art of negotiating and do not understand the necessity of sharing control or anything else for that matter.' (Richardson 163) Since parents do not often admit that they were wrong and are sorry, only children also do not learn to apologize. They find it just as difficult to forgive themselves. Since they prefer to focus on one relationship at a time, most only children are quite comfortable living alone.
Marriage to anyone of any birth order can be a challenge. (Richardson 163 - 164) Only children generally have more difficulty with being parents than people in other birth orders. In addition to not having any experience in dealing with younger children in the family, they are unaccustomed to having many other people around. Onlies are the most likely adults to not have children or to just have one. It could be noted that some 'onlies', however, want to make up for their own lonely childhood by having several children of their own. When 'onlies' do have children, they tend to put most of the responsibility on the spouse. This is because quite often, 'onlies' do not want to do something wrong, or because they are so used to being taken care of by their parents.
(Richardson 165) 'Only children tend to want just one close friend at a time. They may cling to one person to prevent loneliness, yet still be most comfortable alone' (Richardson 165). Only children have trouble adjusting to the different personalities of too many peers at the same time. Some are fearful about meeting new people and have to force themselves into social situations. When social situations become stressful, only children may revert to their loner selves.
This is not to say that only children do not like other people. They may even, perhaps, long to be a part of a group. Only children just are not used to dealing with the complexities of other human beings. (Richardson 165 - 166) 'Only children are often eager to please older people or those in positions of authority, but they have also learned early on how to manipulate them. Some onlies take advantage of their parents and go on to become domineering adults.' (Richardson 167). These only children may need constant affirmations and reassurance. They are shocked when the world does not provide these affirmations.
Therefore a result, only children usually need a jump start, though once they get going they do excellent work. (Richardson 168) Careers in which 'onlies' most commonly find themselves in are; doctors, architects, engineers, and researchers. (Anonymous 1) As discussed and proven, birth order is a significant factor in personality development, behaviour and outlook. There are three major birth orders; the firstborns, the middle child, and the last born. One other notable position is that of the only child which usually takes on the role of a firstborn and then some. Hence, an only child is often referred to as the 'Super First Born'. 'It is a scientific fact proven time and again that your position in your family shapes your approach to life' (Leman 9).
Your birth order and sex determines a large part how other people in your family react to you and treat you which in turn influences what you think about yourself and how you react to and treat others inside and outside the family. It should also be noted that birth order not only affects reactions and behaviour. One's birth order affects a plethora of things which include one's IQ, consumption of cigarettes, alcohol and drugs, depression and mental illness, and creativity. (Ernst i - v) The topic birth order has proven to be very interesting and educational. It is amazing and fun to know more about yourself and your siblings through the order in which we were all born. One can only wonder how much one's life is out of one's control by virtue of being born first, middle or last.
Does birth order really determine who one is or will become or do other factors come into play?.
Research paper and essay writing, free essay topics, sample works Birth Order
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