Assertiveness: Skills to Inspire Confidence INSTRUCTOR OUTLINE OUTLINE METHOD NOTES Introduction s PSI Class: Large Group Reg Class: Pairs interview / intro each other to class Participant intro + answer: PSI re: most memorable / proud moment during senior year Reg re: most imp t part of their job Objectives Lecture PG 1 Communication Styles Defined Small Groups/C paper on wall by tables O/H Slides - 3?'s Lecture - O/H slides PG 2 - Break large group into three or six small groups, depending on size of class. Each group charts per their belief- words/ pictures of characteristics: actions, verbals, behaviors, etc. of that particular style - 1 term / group passive, assertive, aggressive, passive aggressive (p. a.

between aggressive and passive) Instructor show assertive example: stick hand out / smile /shake hands Show O/H with following 3 questions and ask groups to answer: 1. What affect does that style have on you? 2. What affect does that style have on the person you are communicating with? 3. In what situation would this style be most effective? (i.

e. Aggressive: being ignored, no one is listening to you; Passive: exchange is getting violent / angry ... to calm down situation; Assertive: argument with good friend, want to resolve to keep friend); Passive Aggressive: in conflict with untrustworthy person - protect self interest while seeking solution (sarcasm, mother-in-law syndrome, snide remarks, in genuine) Small groups report on their lists and answers to questions. - Instructor charts responses on line chart under appropriate behavior area- Instructor invites other participants to add to the lists.

Close activity with lecture - Let's see if we missed anything (Review O/H's) "Assertiveness &Customer Service " Sheet Large Group Discussion Extra handout Refer back to line chart: We want to stay here. assertive area How do we know when we cross over from one area to another? We tend to reflect the behavior we " re exposed to in the situation: Distribute and discuss extra handout - "Assertiveness & Customer Service": - We, like most customers, prefer dealing with assertive people. Read this over... which characteristics are most familiar to you? . instructor emphasizes visualization on line chart how cross from one behavior area into another when behavior is out of control (i. e.

Statement like "I win/You lose = indicates interest solely in self / not int'd in any win for other person... have moved to aggressive) (i. e. do reverse for Passive: "I lose/You win = No interest in self/ only in giving win to other person) What's My Style - - Self Assessment Broken Record Technique Individual Exercise Large Group Discussion/H - Basic Techniques Lecture PG 3 & 4 Do Self assessment - PG 3 Answer questions on PG 4 Share answers from PG 4 with a partner Discuss questions 2 & 4 in large group.

instructor emphasizes better if we have control and consciously choose to move into other area for desired result When we don't define & recognize up front, we can't control our own behavior to reach desired outcomes at work / in life Show O/HDemo dialogue on PG 5 in large group (instructor chooses 1 person do a role with them) This technique is done well if you vary the response slightly, and vary your tone and pitch. When done badly sounds like a nagging Mother. Let's think of a situation at work / home you can use this in... Who will be a car salesman using this technique to "get me into a car"? (Do broken record role play with participant) Fogging Technique Sandwich Technique LUNCH BREAK Same O/H-TechniquesLectureSmall Group Discussion Same O/HLectureSmall Group Discussion Refer back to O/HDemo dialogue on PG 6 in large group (instructor chooses 1 person do a role with them) Think back over the last 2 weeks at work or home where "fogging" worked for you. This technique works well with "passive aggressive's.".. they " re not being straight with you and you " re agreeing up front with them and then delivering your message after.

Share with others at your table two situations you used this in most recently. Show Techniques O/H Explain technique and example on PG 7- Let's edit this page... - After you state your wants and needs... pause... then- Add Step #4: Ask the other person: "How do we make this happen?" - Also, when you state your wants / needs ...

don't say "I feel", "I want", "I need.".. most people don't care... - Instead use your own language to state your feeling (Instructor gives example) On bottom of PG 7, list personal examples from work / home that you are currently involved in. - Fill in the blanks using the sandwich technique (review O/H process again) Share your situation with others at your tabl Before go to lunch: Your assignment during lunchtime is to do something assertive @ lunch (i. e. asking for something extra like a glass of water, , small change for a larger bill, etc.

) LUNCH BREAK Body Language Bingo Large Group (Review) O/H-Bingo Go to PG 8 in H/O Complete your card with examples your fellow participants give you. - you can fill in only 2 spaces yourself; the rest comes from them- when you " ve filled your card, sit down at your table- you have 10 minutes Instructor asks for answers and writes on O/H Participants fill in other examples in their spaces When all have all filled in, have bingo, all get treat Recognizing Assertion Small Group Discussion Large Group Discussion Each table will work as a group to complete PG 9 & PG 10. Read the responses for each situation and identify the behavior. Each table identifies all 3 responses for all 7 situations. Debrief group and discuss why Assertive Behavior Exercise BREAK Small Group Show technique O/H Review the 10 situations on PG 11-12 As a table, decide what technique (s) would be most appropriate to use... - All of them? - Some of them? - One of them? What statements would you use? For instance...

what behavior would this be? "I was speaking... is there something wrong with you, or something?" What technique would work best with that kind of behavior so your response is assertive and both people win? Work through 11-12 in small groups Report: - Initial statement (s) made - Identify that behavior style- Identify what technique works best to give an assertive response- State your assertive responseBREAKPeer Coaching Fish Bowl Pairs Small Group 15 minute discussion - 5 minutes feedback - Partner to Partner Switch groups - inside and out... repeat Now we have an opportunity to practice these techniques for real life Share a real story in your life or your recent past where you wanted to be more assertive. Answer the 4 questions on PG 13. (i. e.

I wanted to go to college, but my parents said money was short, where I wanted to go was too far away, and I'm still not ready to be that far away from home yet. ) Stay with your partners while I move you around. - I want 8 people at this table; 4 sitting, 4 standing- I want 6 people at this table; 3 sitting, 3 standing- One partner should be sitting, w/1 partner standing across from them, observing them. The observers will record their observations about their partners using the form on page 14.

The seated partners will have a discussion among themselves about one of the following topics or one of your own choice: - Right to Life- Capitol Punishment- Immigration To make this work - not everyone in the discussion can be all pro or all con. If necessary, act out a view you don't really have just to make it lively. Remember use your techniques to be assertive! Evaluation Adjourn.