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Sample essay topic, essay writing: Mother-daughter Relationships - 1172 words

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.. realize they may have this fear themselves. I know I did not realize I held it within myself, but then I also realized there was a lot more to my mother that I cared to see. Once I saw past my close-mindedness, I understood that there was nothing wrong with growing up and acting a little like my mom. In fact, there were some qualities my mother held that I wanted to imitate when I was a mother myself.

#During the time of adolescence, a girl want more freedom in becoming her own person, and mothers often mistake growth toward independence as rebelliousness. After all, a teen may question all that her mother stands for. Sometimes a mother may offer her advice to her child while looking out for her best interest, but a girl mistakes it as her mother trying to run her life and control her. Erin comments, #"Sometimes when I would try to make a decision that was hard for me, and I know I could be capable of making a bad choice or a mistake, I did not want to hear my mom's advice. It was like I knew she was probably right, but in spite of her, I would rather find out the hard way. I would rather find out on my own." I also look back on decisions I have had to make in my life and the advice that I did not take from my mother and I wish I would have taken it, because then life would have been a little bit easier, but I do know that life is not perfect and that it is okay to find things out the hard way. For many girls though, they should know, learn and understand that if they decide to take their mother's advice on certain things, it is okay and they are not giving into their mothers

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Mothers are just trying to help their daughters and if we choose to take their help or not, they will still be there. Because of issues of Independence increasing conflict often emerges. #Although a mother-daughter relationship is complex, young adults often need to understand their mothers in order to understand themselves. If a mother-daughter relationship has been strained, there are many ways to relate more positively. Girls and their mothers just have to find out how to relate to one another. Everyone is different, whether it is just sitting down and having a nice dinner together, talking about homework or in front of the TV, or going shopping together, the little times are when a mother and her daughter can get to know one another on so many different levels.

Mother-daughter conflict also occurs when the daughter selects her own lifestyle and rejects her mothers'. My brother Jason Tretheway, age 28, has said, #"I think that sometimes with mom, her views have conflicted with not only yours and Erin's, but all of ours, mine, too, and her expectations for her daughters conflict with how their living their lives." This may be true of not only my family, but many others'. Mothers tend to let their hopes for their daughters get in the way and not give their girls enough room to breath and live comfortably. But besides using arguments as a means to establish independence, mothers and daughters should practice communicating. At times a teen may seem like a better arguer and this is due to changes in thinking skills that occur during puberty.

A teen then begins to find faults in their mothers' reasoning and argue much more. A teen girl may even begin to just practice these new skills by disagreeing on purpose with their parent. This begins to cause even more problems and soon enough it will be too much and too late to solve anything. If mothers and daughters can set time together to talk and discuss things going on in both of their lives, then they will have a much better understanding of one another. Girls often only think of themselves and their problems in adolescence, and they do not realize what their parents go through.

It was not until recently that I realized my mother had her share of a "bad" life. In sharing things with one another, my mom and I became close and I not only looked up to her as my mom, but as an actual individual, which is hard for many girls. But if girls see they are not alone in the world and their life is not the only one that is tough, then they can help others and themselves and know they are never alone. Mother-daughter relationships are among the most complicated relationships ever experienced. They often compromise many conflicting feelings such as love, anger, worry, resentment, envy, and need. When daughters become young adults the focus of the mother-daughter relationship is the daughter's efforts to become an adult. While this is rewarding for the mother, it is also a significant expenditure of time and energy that focuses on one person-the daughter.

#As daughters move into middle age and mothers grow older, their goals are more in sync. Mothers often reflect on their relationships with their own mothers and hope for growing intimacy with their own daughters. Mothers identify and resolve the tensions that can arise when their expectations for their daughters with the reality of how she's living her life. When a girl is entering into the time of adolescence in her life, she is not the only one going through it. Although all girls go through this, her mother is right there by her side going through it, too. When a girl is a teenager, the sound of her mother's voice is enough to drive her crazy.

When a mother raises a she-teen, the lines get drawn for battle. #Conflict arises in even the best relationships because both the mother and daughter care for each other so much. The best mother-daughter ties are ones where they care so much, they see the other's faults but want to protect the other from knowing that they see them. Every daughter and mother love each other but it's when a daughter can say I really like my mother and when a mother feels the same way, that one knows the relationship has succeeded. Bibliographyhttp://www.ag.uiuc.edu/~vista/pdf pubs/GATEWAY4.PDF. 20 of April, 2001.Bauch, P. A., Vietze, P., & Morris, V.

(1973). What makes the difference in parental participation? Childhood Education, 50, 47-53. http://www.ag.uiuc.edu/~vista/pdf pubs/GATEWAY4.PDF. 20 of April, 2001.http://www.knowledgetree.com/parents.htm. 23 of March, 2001.Hickman, C. W., Greenwood, G.

E., & Miller, M. D. (1995). High school parent involvement: Relationships with achievement, grade level, SES, and gender. Journal of Research and Development in Education, 28, 125-134. http://www.knowledgetree.com/parents.htm.

23 of March, 2001.Tretheway, Cathy. Personal Interview. 2 of April, 2001.Tretheway, Erin. Personal Interview. 7of April, 2001.Tretheway, Jason. Personal Interview. 8 of April, 2001.Troll, Lillian E.

'Family-Embedded vs. Family Deprived Oldest-Old: A Study of Contrasts.' International Journal of Aging and Human Development.

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