It seemed as if sixteen years of my life had simply passed me by. All I was able to see was the pain and suffering that I endured due to others. I was chained down, heavily burdened by the sheer contempt I held for the doctrine of humanity. All was in disarray, my life was like an ever enduring Armageddon.
As my junior year came to a close, all of this changed. Sometimes I find it hard to believe how one person can completely change your life. She is, without a doubt, an angel. She is a celestial being sent down from above to reveal to me the bright side of life.
Together, we knelt down together and scooped up the shards of my shattered dreams and gingerly put them back together. We walk hand in hand wherever we go, maintaining the bond of love that holds our hopes and dreams together. My life used to be the definition of pain. From an early age, I had been abused. My parents were never really fond of each other. They were just two dumb teenagers who made a mistake...
this mistake was me. For the past thirteen or fourteen years of my life I have been told that I was a mistake. I was told that the marital strife that my parents were frequently partaking in was a repercussion of my birth. Imagine being four or five years old and being told that you were never meant to be.
How can somebody so young be guilty of so much? Later in life, in my early teenage years, I witnessed the death of a baby brother, an aunt and uncle who were extremely close to me, and the death of my cousin Dustin who, to this day, is a large portion of my dreams. I was in the car with my cousin Dustin late one summer night when a speeding car rammed us off the road. He died of massive head trauma. I was left with a broken collarbone, a concussion, and masses of emotional scars. All of this has become a blur since the end of last school year. Once she and I became a couple, memories of love and romance began to replace those of pain and grief.
My most vivid memory comes from the Fourth of July, this summer. She and I went into Manhattan to see the Macy's fireworks show. When I close my eyes, I can still see the blue, white, and red colors cascading over her beautiful countenance. My outlook on life has now completely changed.
I used to see the people passing me by in the hallways and on the street as mindless drones. Simple robots being produced by the educational system. Due to thoughts such as this, I never really had many friends. She showed me that all people are unique. She revealed to me the fact that not everyone is out to hurt me. I also used to believe that love was some fairy tale concept.
I was unable to grasp onto the fact that people can actually feel a strong emotional bond with another. I was always the child all alone during recess, sitting at my desk either reading or sleeping. Now, I love life. I love people. I went from a recluse to a social butterfly of sorts.
I am so madly in love with her and all that she represents. Life is now worth living. My downward spiral has come to a halt. Although life with her is, basically, a roller coaster ride, the downs are bearable as the ups are so much greater.