Acts Of Self Mutilation example essay topic

It was sleek, like a fountain pen, with a thin triangular blade at the tip. I picked it up and laid the blade against a doily. The little knots came undone, just like that. I touched the blade to a piece of ribbon draped across the table and pressed, ever so lightly. The ribbon unfurled into two pieces and slipped to the floor without a sound.

Then I placed the blade next to the skin on my palm. What happened next was that perfect, straight line of blood bloomed from under the edge of the blade. I watched from above, waiting to see how big it would get before it burst. When it did, I felt awesome. Satisfied, finally. Then exhausted (McCormick).

Most people cringe at the sight of blood and the feeling of a sharp object against their skin, but there are some, just like the girl in the excerpt above from Patricia McCormick's book Cut, that experience exhilaration, followed by relief from this feeling. Instances such as this are acts of self-mutilation. Self-mutilation is the deliberate damaging of the body without conscious intent to commit suicide. Just like with eating disorders, self-mutilation is used as a coping mechanism in life and it is a disorder that seems to be on the rise, especially in teens. With such disturbing actions becoming more Parkansky 2 and more common today, it is vital to understand who is doing this and why. It isn't exactly known how many people have this disorder because many cases go unseen and untreated, but it has been estimated that about 1 out of every 135 teenagers per year have this problem, the majority being female ("Mutilation").

An interesting theory for why such a large majority of self-mutilators are female is that women are not socialized to express violence externally. When confronted with the vast rage that many self-injurers tend to feel, women have the tendency to vent on themselves. Psychologist Dr. Edward Miller supports this claim when he says, "Men act out. Women act out by acting in". Regardless of the sex of the person, they can all be categorized into three groups of self-mutilation... The first and most common type is known as "superficial" injury.

One female cutter explains her experience: It's a release... sometimes like drugs. The pain that's achieved through the cutting is something to focus on. Yes, it's pain and it hurts, but that's kind of the point. It's something to focus on and it helps you pull away from reality. People who aren't self-mutilators rarely understand why the hell anyone would do this, so call me crazy, call me weird, I don't expect anyone to understand. The majority of all superficial self-injurers are made up primarily of those who cut themselves with tools such as razors, knives, wire, or whatever they can find.

They are known simply as cutters. The second type is stereotypical self-mutilation. This consists of the person Parkansky 3 banging their head, pushing in their eyeballs, and attempting to break their bones. ("What is Self- Mutilation?" ). One twenty year old who suffers from this type of mutilations states, "I slam my hands and arms against something cement with corners until I hear something crack and I am convinced that I've broken a bone. These sessions sometimes take 3-5 hours.

I have never failed to break a bone". People who suffer from this certain type of mutilation tend to be mentally retarded or have an obsessive compulsive disorder. The third and most extreme type is called "major" self-mutilation. This kind is very rare. The person affected may amputate limbs, castrate himself, or perform other such acts to permanently disfigure themselves. In the case of major self-mutilation, some people feel that a certain limb is not a part of their body and will do whatever it takes to get it removed.

They feel if they continue to have this appendage they are going to die or go insane. To them, this limb is the source of all of their problems and it therefore must be destroyed. Some request surgery to remove the limb, and if denied they will amputate it themselves or mutilate it to the point that amputation is the only option in order to save the person's life ("What is Self-Mutilation?" ). Regardless of the type or severity, beneath the scars and bruises of every victim of self-mutilation lies a very dark and hidden secret.

It is different from person to person, but they usually fall into one of three categories. The first is called "affect regulation". This kind is derived from a haunting past that they feel they come to terms with when hurting themselves. It is said to help calm the body in times of high emotional stress. The self-mutilator feels that they can show their inner scars of pain from outer expression Parkansky 4 ("You Are Not The Only One"). A nineteen year old cutter who fits into this category of self- mutilator wrote this message on a website's message board: I was sexually abused by my father when I was 8.

My best friend died when I was 12. My mother was in rehab for most of my life. But whenever I cut myself, something happened to me. Something that wasn't nearly as painful as everything else in my life. It was the one thing that did feel perfect.

It was my one and only escape. (Red Rush) The second category is "communication". Some people use self-harm as a way to express things they cannot speak. It is an outlet for strong negative emotions, especially anger or shame, that the person is afraid to express in words or discuss with others. Understanding what an act of self-harm is trying to communicate can be crucial to dealing with it in an effective and constructive way. This seventeen year old self-mutilator had this to say about her actions: After my boyfriend and I got into a fight late one evening I went into my room and started cutting.

I didn't do it solely for the purpose of him to notice what I had done, but I never really tried to hide it. No more than a day later he noticed the cuts and asked me about them. I didn't really give him a straight answer, but at the same time I sort of wanted him to know what was going on. (Spatula Boy) The third and final category is "control / punishment". This category includes things such as trauma reenactment and magical thinking. Magical thinking is when a person thinks they will prevent something bad from happening to them if they hurt themselves before Parkansky 5 "it" hurts them.

Another main reason is if the person feels intense guilt for a prolonged period of time and they punish themselves ("You Are Not The Only One"). A 16 year old male cutter states: At one point in my life I felt like I was the worst human being alive. I stole from my parents, I stole from friends, I even stole from the church. I would sneak out late at night and go smoke weed with my friends. I was the typical nightmare child, but when I cut, I felt like I was getting what I deserved. (San chest) Even though it is easy to technically categorize these people, we mustn't forget that these are all people undergoing true human suffering.

It would be easy to judge them for their actions, but what's on the inside of them is what really matters. Their scars on the outside are made to match the inside. The following poem, entitled "Lullaby", was written by 16 year old Rachelle Ashman: I shake with sobs, as I gather memories of my past. I attempt to crawl inside myself to find the pain and burn it. I find it burning me instead; a constant torture with no hope of death. When my eyes are dry, but the pain's still sharp, I desperately search for a release.

The only one I can find is a scratch starving for blood. I submit hesitantly, and I jump on the clouds to fall back down. But I feel so relieved.