Additional Factor In The Increasing Divorce Rate example essay topic

Each year, over 1 million American children suffer the divorce of their parents, moreover, half of the children born this year to parents who are married will see their parents divorced before they turn 18. Maintaining evidence in social science journals demonstrates that the devastating physical, emotional, and financial effects that divorce is having on these children will last into adulthood and affect future generations. Our society places a higher value on romantic love than most other societies. In societies where marriages are selected by parents, being in love generally has no role in mate selection. In our society, however, romantic love is a key factor in forming a marriage. Children in this country are socialized from an early age to believe in the glories of romantic love.

Magazines, films, T.V. programs, and books portray "happy-ending" romantic adventures. All of these romantic stories suggest that every normal person falls in love with that one special someone, gets married, and lives happily ever after. This happily-ever-after ideal rarely happens. About one of two marriages ends in divorce (Korn blum & Julian, 2001). This high rate has gradually been increasing, but before World War I divorce was comparatively rare. Divorce usually leads to a number of difficulties for those involved.

First, those who are divorcing face emotional concerns, such as a feeling that they have failed, concerned over whether they are able to give and receive love, a sense of loneliness, concern over the stigma attached to divorce, concerned about the reactions of friends and relatives, concern over their doing the right thing by parting, and concerned over whether they will be able to make it on their own. Many people feel trapped because they believe they cannot live with their spouse and cannot live without him or her. Dividing up the personal property is another issue that frequently leads to bitter differences of opinions. If there are children, there are concerns about how the divorce will affect them. Other issues also need to be decided. Who will get custody of the children?

Now a day's joint custody is now an alternative. With joint custody, both parents have joint responsibility for decision making involving the children. If one parent is granted custody, controversies are apt to rise over visiting rights, and how much support should be paid. Both spouses often face the difficulties of finding new places to live, making new friends, doing things alone in our couple oriented society, trying to make it on their own financially, and thinking about the hassles of dating. Studies show that going through a divorce is very difficult (Papal ia et al., 2001). People are less likely to perform their jobs well and more likely to be fired during this period of time.

Divorced people have a shorter life expectancy. Suicide rates are higher for divorced men. Another factor that is contributing to an increasing divorce rate is the unwillingness of some men to accept the changing status of women. Many men still prefer a traditional marriage where the husband is dominant, and the wife plays a supportive, subordinate role as a child watcher, housekeeper, and emotional supporter of her husband. Many women no longer accept such a status and demand an equalitarian marriage in which making decisions, doing the domestic tasks, raising the children, and bringing home paychecks are shared responsibilities.

Another factor contributing to the increasing divorce rate is the growth of individualism. Studies say individualism involves the belief that people should seek to develop their interests and capacities to the fullest, to seek to fulfill their own needs and desires. With individualism the interests of the individual take precedence over the interests of the family. People in our society have increasingly come to accept individualism as a way of life.

An additional factor in the increasing divorce rate is that modern families no longer have as many functions as in traditional families. Education, food production, entertainment, and other functions once centered in the family, are now largely provided by outside agencies. The primary social work service for people who are considering a divorce, or who have an empty-shell marriage, is marriage counseling. Those who do obtain a divorce may also need counseling to work out adjustments problems, such as adjusting to a single person's life. Generally such counseling is one on one but, at times, may include the ex- spouse and the children, depending on the nature of the problem. Marriage counseling is provided by a variety of professionals, including social workers, psychologists, guidance counselors, psychiatrists, and members of the clergy.

Marriage counseling is provided by most direct social service agencies. Many marriage counselors generally use a problem-solving approach in which problems are identified, alternative solutions are generated, the merits and short-comings of the alternatives are examined, the clients select one or move alternatives to implement, and the extend to which the problems are being resolved by the alternatives are later assessed. Marriage counselors try to see both spouses at the same time during sessions. Practically all marital conflicts involve both partners and, therefore, are best resolved when both partners work together on resolving the conflicts. If the spouses are seen separately, each spouse is apt to become suspicious of what the other is telling the counselor.

By seeing both together, the counselor can facilitate communication between the partners and have the partners work together on resolving their concerns. Seeing each other allows them to refute what the other is saying. A recent development in social services is divorce mediation, which helps spouses who have decided to obtain a divorce to resolve such issues as dividing the personal property, resolving custody and child support issues, and working out possible alimony arrangements if necessary. Some social workers are now receiving specialized training to provide divorce mediation services. In order to thrive your marriage, it must be a priority on the top of your list.

And your spouse needs to see this on an everyday basis. The principle is very simple, if your spouse doesn't feel she's special to you, sooner or later, she " ll be tempted to find someone who makes her feel special. It's not easy to keep marriage at the top of your list when there are so many demands on your time: demanding jobs, demanding children, and other demanding responsibilities. While each demand has its part of life, developing a healthy marriage is most important and should be given more attention than your other responsibilities and demands.

Bibliography

1. web 2. Teaching Today's Health Sixth Edition. David J. Anspaugh. 2001.
3. web 4. U.S. Census Bureau, 2001.