Always Feeling essay example

977 words
The Realization of My Thanks had previously lived a life of chaos and hurt With self-esteem no higher than dirt Never knowing what it was like to be put first was used to being confused and scared Finding nothing but the gallows of despair I was always neglected Always feeling like I didn't belong Or even accepted Waiting for the next time To just be rejected I couldn't help the feelings I had Mixed emotions of feeling mad and sadI couldn't help that I was treated bad And that's what made me so apprehensive Running from my feelings inside Trying to scurry to get away Trying to hide I had no other options Until that day I was thankfully Put up for adoption And I'm sorry to say, because of my past When I first arrived, I made it clear, very fast That I wasn't going to make it easy didn't make it easy for my new family, I'm sure For they hadn't experienced anything like me before Making them second think about letting me stay was always fiercely pushing them away Fighting and struggling to keep them at bay Unintentional of course honestly never meant any harm And I finally realize and see how I always held out my arms Trying to protect myself from foreshadowed pain That wasn't even there Pain I hallucinated in my brain But now... a pain of constant remorse Seems to find a way to seep from my pores And torments me with a piercing ring of Satan's roar Yet... Through everything My parents seemed to understand Doing their best to keep me safe and warm Always offering a helping hand Winning the battle I set forth in silent demand These are the reasons whyI'd like to pause, from my selfish agenda And take this dwindling time To forget about mine or anyone's criteria To let the two people I love the absolute most Know how truly grateful I am That they came for me and left the safe coast I will thank them until the day I die And do the same for the future children of mine I want to strip my outer peel And apologize for the bad things The bad things I've done that I thought were no big deal For when I challenged the reasons of staying safe... Beneath your wings Through all these years of my life My parents have made sure they were inevitably there Making sure I wouldn't be cut on that infamous knife They " ve been there when I've fallen hard When I thought there was no way to get up When I was hurt, lonely, scared, and jarred When I didn't want to move, give up, and abort Than out of no where When I was laying to rot They came to my aide, with encouragement and support Doing what they could without a second thought Bringing me home, safe in their fort Whether it was me or them at our best or worst They did anything and everything for me To make me feel like I was number one, put in first On rainy days and on sunny days If it was in the cold of December or in the warmth of May They never left my side Teaching me what rules to live by and abide Always there to protect and defend me Somehow always showing me the light Showing me the battles to avoid or fight Even if I was right or I was wrong They would give me the chance to tell them how I thought it should be And sometimes, the times they didn't agree They did there best, as long as no harm was for seen To leave it up to me, and let myself see My parents helped me comprehend What the meaning of a family truly is They found a way to reach me To show me that I am worth more than sand Something I've struggled with, something I've always missed I now know my importance in this life What it's like to finally be put first To feel love of warmth, instead of the harshness of ice And now I know how it feels to be genuinely cared for To feel alive, to have finally quenched my thirst To unlock the chain's on my hearts's teel door I now have no doubts from now through forever more They always seemed to know the outcome of my actions And even if there were going to be wretched consequences There was one thing I'd be sure of when I got their reaction They were always willing to trust and forgive, just one more time Always giving me a hopeful second chance A second time to relearn the dance Of the things I've done to take advantage of thisI'm sorry and wish it was fixable with simple kisses But I can't, I can only try to make up for my past misses My parent's have stuck beside me through the thick and the thin Never allowing any of us, to throw the towel in This is what I've learned from being part of a family You never give up even in the worst of times You simply try to settle it calmly You stick together through life's twist and turns Staying side by side day or night Even if the hear it so hot it burns Staying connected by love and love's fight I love you mom and dad w / all my heart and I"ve been working on this piece for a while... I miss ya " ll very much and want to talk to ya " ll tomorrow... I love you guys...

Sorry I didn't call tonight... I wanted to get some things settled before we talked... but I am thinking about ya " ll.