Social skills are the actions one exhibits when dealing with others. They are often referred to as people skills. These actions generally influence other's opinions, likes, or dislikes of the exhibitor. In general, the better one's social skills are the better one is liked and accepted.
Social skills are a very important factor in the development of a healthy psyche. Since the majority of one's time in a social environment is in the workplace, it is an excellent place to observe the social skills of yourself and others. One of my co-workers, Chuck, has pretty good social skills. In the morning Chuck always has a smile for you and asks what's going on. He appears interested in what you have to say and offers advice when asked. He jokes around a lot and keeps you in a good mood.
He also gives support and encouragement when you re trying to tackle a difficult task. He doesn t always display good social skills though. When he is in charge his skills seem to slip some. He gets short with people when they appear to be having a good time, even though they are working just as hard as if they were being very serious. I don t think this is an intentional behavior, I just think he is uncomfortable being in charge of people he considers his friends.
I think he fears that if he isn t strict, no one will take him seriously. Overall Chuck's social skills are pretty well developed, and most people like him. Tom, another co-worker, on the other hand has very poor social skills. His good skills are so few and far between it's hard for me to even think of any.
The only one that really comes to mind is that he will help out somebody who needs money for lunch or even needs some money to get through the week. This is a very admirable trait, but it is well overshadowed by his many bad social skills. First of all he is always passing the blame down to his crew. Anything that goes wrong in the day is usually, in his mind, the fault of someone else. More times than not it is his own fault.
As if this wasn t bad enough, he usually takes full credit for anything that goes well. It isn t uncommon for him to say something like I really kicked that ones ass. when referring to a job seven other people each worked twice as hard on. Another poor skill is how he deals with other people not agreeing with him. In our business there are one hundred different ways to do one thing, if you try to do something you own way, which may be a better way, he treats you like you re a moron who doesn t know anything.
And if you even try to tell him he is being unreasonable he will become agitated and often times threaten violence. When you disagree with him isn t the only time he treats you like a moron, it's most other times too. Tom somehow turns any awkward little thing that anyone does into a feat of total incompetence. He is constantly degrading anyone around him, I think he really feels the need to make himself feel superior to everyone.
Tom has very poor social skills and isn t liked by many people. I have also spent time observing myself at work. I feel that I have pretty good social skills. I always give others a lot of support and encouragement; I listen to their ideas and tell them to go for them if the ideas are sound. I always praise their work to them and others, and I don t take credit for others work. I am friendly and polite, even when I am in charge.
I seldom tell someone to do something, I usually ask them. But, believe it or not, I don t always exhibit good social skills. Sometimes I talk down to people; I treat them almost like a child just because my job skills are a little better then theirs. More often then not, these people have already proved to me that their abilities are at least average. I just have a hard time realizing this sometimes. Another thing I do is name calling, it is almost always supposed to be a joke, but I think sometime it hurts people's feelings.
The worst of my faults in the social skills department is that often times I find others to blame for my mistakes. Since I realized I ve been doing this I have been careful to try to take responsibility for my actions and not lay blame on others. Overall I think my social skills are decent and I think most people like me. Now that I know my faults, I can work to improve myself.
I ll start by trying to realize other people's full potential, I ll look more carefully at their past achievements. I ll try to stop calling people anything but totally silly names all together to try to avoid any misunderstandings. And the biggest thing that I have to work on, although I ve already begun, is to accept full responsibility for my mistakes. It's not fair, even if someone else had a hand in it, to accuse other people for my screw-ups. I think improving upon these things will greatly increase my social skills, and I m sure I ll discover more faults just around the corner. Nobody's perfect.
Social skills are a critical part of normal development. It is important that we take the time to observe ourselves and others in social situations (i.e. work), so that we can better understand how the way we act influences others. We must be critical of ourselves to find our own faults, which can be the most difficult part. And we can learn from the rights and wrongs of others so that it will be easier to improve ourselves.
The Golden Rule, do unto others as you would have others do unto you, is probably the most important thing to remember when putting your social skills into action. Social Skills at Work Jonathan S Study.