Certain Types Of Communication example essay topic

947 words
Men and Women have not always agreed upon the types of communication they use between one another. The men and women communicate very differently. Although certain types of communication can be argued to be the "right and wrong" ways to communicate, there truly is no correct way to communicate. People communicate differently in various types of situations.

This is not a bad thing because it allows us to express our individuality. In Tannen's essay, "Sex, Lies, and Conversation", she describes many types of communication between males and females and the way the two sexes react to one another. I will be comparing my own personal experiences and experiences I have witnessed in other peoples interactions with those that are found in Tannen's essay. One of Tannen's examples was where men can be extremely talkative and social in a group but when they come home from work they have nothing to talk about. I have observed this with my father and my mother. Whenever I am at some type of party with my parents, my dad is very sociable and will talk about any type of topic that is being discussed, regardless of whether or not he has any idea whatsoever about the topic at hand.

When he comes home from work, however, and we are sitting at the dinner table, it is a completely different story. If my father talks for more than two minutes that is considered unusual. Perhaps this is because of the effect that groups have on us, making us feel as if we need to participate in order to fit in. Another good point brought up by Tannen is that certain men don't listen to their wives. Many women feel this is one of the worst things that can take place in a relationship because it's the most upsetting.

They feel upset because women need a certain type of intimacy and talking and sharing is very intimate. If that is taken away from them they feel alone and empty inside. Tannen states that some women don't mind things, such as men not doing their share of chores such as cooking, cleaning and running errands nearly as much as not being listened to. I agree with Tannen because I know of many married couples who have gone through many problems because the man often does thing such as read the paper or watch television instead of listening to his wife.

When the wife would try and talk to the husband while he was doing those things he would simply just tune her out and not pay attention. This causes wives to become more emotional and upset. When this takes place the strength of the marriage is often doubted. Tannen states that women often think of conversation as the cornerstone of friendship and expect the man to be their new best friend. Another point made by Tannen is that women need the sense of closeness to make them feel special and good. This could be a problem because some males don't have deep conversations with their friends and might not know how to react when a woman tries to have a deep conversation with them.

I personally can relate to this topic. My friends and I rarely ever talk seriously. The basis for our conversation would have been just sports, women, and current events. When I started going out with my girlfriend she would always start getting into very serious conversations with me about life and our future and I didn't know how to handle them at first.

This made me uncomfortable and made me not want to talk to her that much because I was afraid of what to say because I was confused. Eventually we talked about this and I learned that all I had to do was just be myself and speak my mind. I actually started to enjoy these deep conversations we had and they made me feel like we had something really special after we shared so many personal things. Another difference in communication between men and women is supporting one another. Tannen states that when women have problems they tell each other to not feel bad because they have been there before and they will get through it.

Men, on the other hand, will just say to each other that they shouldn't feel bad because the problems they have aren't that bad. I can also relate to this personally. Whenever my girlfriend talked to me about her problems, I would bring up problems that I had and I told her that her problems weren't that bad compared to mine. I know that I was wrong for saying this because I knew she was upset and I should have been there to support her and comfort her.

She is used to discussing these problems with her friends and being told what she wants to hear so this must have even made her more upset. Once I realized this I never made the same mistake again and I was always there for her when she needed me. There truly are many different ways that men and women can communicate. Different people choose different ways to communicate with one another in different situations. There are no types of communication that are right or wrong and Tannen proves this in her essay. Without different types of communication the relationships between men and women would not be what they are today..