Children Of Gay And Lesbian Parents example essay topic

Is it right to tell a person or couple (who is a perfect candidate to be a parent) that they are not aloud to adopt because they have different sexual preferences than a majority of the world? Gay and lesbian couples should be aloud to adopt children; they are just as capable of being good parents as a heterosexual couple is. Thousands of children in this country are without permanent homes. These children suffer for months, to years, within state foster care systems that lack qualified foster parents and are frequently challenged with other problems. Is it right to let these children suffer when there are suitable homes out there for them? 'We' decided, as a society, that these homes are not suitable because 'we' think it is wrong to be gay.

A majority of the world believes that gay parents would hurt the future and growing of a child; these are only 'beliefs' and 'assumptions' that our society makes. Most states deny joint custody to gay and lesbian couples. Currently Florida is the only state in the nation with a statute prohibiting gays and lesbians from adopting children (although two states, Mississippi and Utah, recently barred same sex couples from adopting.) Yet, twenty-one states have granted second-parent adoptions to lesbian and gay couples and twenty-two states allow single gay and lesbians to adopt. Even the Department of Children and Families recognizes that gay and lesbians can make fine guardians for children and routinely places foster children in homosexual households. (Times p. 1) So, what really would be the difference if we let gay or lesbian couples adopt a child jointly? Right now, there is a critical shortage of adoptive parents in the US; resulting in leaving many children without homes, while others are forced to stay in and out of a series of substandard foster homes.

It is estimated that there are currently 500,000 children in foster care nationally. 100,000 of those children have to be adopted (Petit p. 72), where in reality only about 20% of them actually get adopted. (Rivers p. 1) Many of these children have traditionally been viewed as "unadaptable" because they are either not healthy, too old, or have another ethnic backgrounds than being Caucasian. In order to find more and well-suited parents, adoption and foster care policies have become more and more inclusive over the past two decades; yet, gay and lesbian couples still are not given the right to adopt jointly. Our society as a whole rejects their rights as human beings, with the fact that they are not allowed the right to adopt children. The state already restricts gay and lesbians from other things heterosexual people are allowed; for example, telling them they cannot legally marry the person they love.

Restricting someone from things like this because of their sexual orientation is unconscionable. Part of the 'American Dream' is to fall in love, get married, and have a family. Why would we deny this right to gay and lesbian couples, they are people too! We treat gays and lesbians like they are incompetent, negligent, unprepared and sickly, and that is why they should not be aloud to adopt children. Yet, we are wrong when we assume that gay and lesbian couples cannot take care of a child like a heterosexual parent can. It is not a proven fact that gay and lesbian parents are incapable or unfit to be parents.

There is no evidence to prove or support gay and lesbian parents are less intelligent, have more problems, have fewer friends, or have lower self-esteem than heterosexual parents. It is proven though, that children of gay and lesbian parents grow up just as happy, healthy, and well adjusted as the children of heterosexual parents do. (1) Good parenting does not come from and is not influenced by a parent's sexual orientation. Rather, it comes from a parent's ability to create a safe, loving and nurturing home for their child or children. There is also are no existing data to support the widely held belief that there are negative outcomes for children raised by gay parents. (Crary p. 1) Children who are born to or adopted by one member of a same sex couple deserve the security of two legally recognized parents.

It only hurts the children more to deny these rights to gay and lesbian couples / parents. Some studies actually prove that gay parents have 'some more advantages' than heterosexual parents do. For example, a recent study showed that in terms of aggression and play, sons of lesbian parents behaved in less traditionally masculine ways. They are likely to be more nurturing and affectionate than their counterparts in heterosexual families.

(Carole p. 49) It is also proven in most cases that sexual orientation of parents has no impact on the sexual orientation of their children. There is also some evidence that children of gay and lesbian parents are more tolerant to diversity, but this is certainly not a disadvantage. (1) Of course some children of homosexual parents will grow up to also be homosexual, but the same chance goes for children of heterosexual parents. In its first policy statement The American Academy of Pediatrics said studies showed that children raised by same sex couples had no greater risk of becoming confused about their gender identity. 'There are more similarities than differences in parenting styles and attitudes (among) gay and (h) heterosexual parents,' the group's Dr. Ellen Perrin said in a report backing up the policy.

(Reuters p. 1) It has also been proven in studies that gay fathers and lesbian mothers tend to be more involved in their children's lives. Gay fathers tend to be stricter disciplinarians than heterosexual fathers; lesbian mothers tend to be more concerned with providing a male role model for their children as compared to divorced / single heterosexual mothers. Dr. Perrin also wrote, 'In a study of 300 children with lesbian mothers, none showed evidence of gender identity confusion, or consistently engaged in cross-gender behavior. ' (Reuters p. 2) When the law recognizes co-parent adoption (gay and lesbian joint adoption) it will produce these benefits: It guarantees that the second parent's custody rights and responsibilities will be protected if the first parent were to die or become incapable of being a parent.

It protects the second parent's right to custody and visitation if the couple decides to separate. It establishes the requirement for child support from both parents if they did decide to separate. It ensures the child's eligibility for health / medical benefits from both parents. It provides legal grounds for either parent to provide consent for medical care and to make education, healthcare, and other important decisions on behalf of the child. It creates the basis for financial security for the child / children in the event that either or both parent's die. (Davis p. 1) 'There's a lot at risk,' Perrin says.

'If the one legally recognized parent gets disabled or dies, the child is left out of luck. Legally and financially, it's a very big issue. If there is a separation between the parents, there are emotional issues. One parent-someone that the child has know for maybe 10 years-suddenly has no rights and the child will never see them again. These are big issues.

' (Davis p. 2) The number of U.S. children with at least one gay parent is estimated between one million and nine million, with most such children conceived in a previous heterosexual relationship. But an increasing number of same-sex parents conceive through donated sperm or with surrogate mothers. (Reuter p. 1-2) A majority of people in the U.S. thinks that the only acceptable home for a child is one with a mother and a father who are married to each other; yet, children without homes do not have the option of choosing between a married mother and father or some other type of parent (s). These children have neither a mother nor a father. There are simply not enough married heterosexual parents who are interested in adoption and foster care. Our foster care and adoption policies must deal with reality, or these children will never have stable and loving homes.

A majority of people in the U.S. also thinks that a child needs a mother and a father to have proper male and female role models. Children without homes have neither a mother nor a father; therefore, they do not have either gender as a role model. And children get their role models from many places, (T.V., movies, magazines, teachers, siblings, and friends) not just from their parent (s). In a case-by-case evaluation, trained professionals can ensure that the child to be adopted or placed in foster care is moving into an environment with adequate role models of all types. Some people in the U.S. also thinks that children raised by gay or lesbian parents are more likely to grow up homosexual themselves; yet, all the evidence from studies show that the sexual orientation of parents has no impact on the sexual orientation of their children and that children of gay and lesbian parents are no more likely than any other child to grow up to be gay.

Children of homosexual parents may tend to be more open-minded or might experiment with being gay or lesbian; but in the long run children of homosexual and heterosexual parents have the same chance in becoming either homosexual or heterosexual. (1) A majority of people in the U.S. also thinks that gay and lesbian couples do not have stable relationships and do not know how to be good parents. When in fact, like other adults in this world, the majority of lesbian and gay couples are in stable committed relationships. (Opinions p. 1) Of course some of these relationships have problems, just like heterosexual relationships do.

Yet, the adoption and foster care screening process is very rigorous, including extensive home visits and interviews. It is designed to screen out those individuals who are not qualified to adopt or be foster parents. All the evidence shows that homosexuals can and do make good parents just like heterosexuals. (1) Another myth people think is true is that children who are raised by lesbian or gay parents will be subjected to harassment and will be rejected by their peers.

Children make fun of other children for a variety of reasons: for being too short, too fat, too thin, too tall, being a different race, having a different religion, or speaking a different language. Children show remarkable resiliency, especially if they are provided with a stable and loving home environment. But children left in foster care often face even more abuse for being 'parentless' than those with a single parent or same-sexed parents. These children often internalize that abuse and often feel unwanted / abandoned. Unfortunately they do not have any support of a loving permanent family to help them through these rough times, whether it is homosexual parents, heterosexual parents, or a single parent / guardian. (1) Another myth that people believe is that lesbian and gay parents are more likely to molest their children or children in general.

There is no connection between homosexuality and pedophilia; all of the legitimate scientific evidence proves that. Sexual orientation, whether heterosexual or homosexual, is an adult sexual attraction to others. Pedophilia, on the other hand, is an adult sexual attraction to children. Heterosexual men commit Ninety percent of child abuse. In one study of 269 cases child sexual abuse, only two offenders were gay or lesbian. Of the cases studied involving molestation of a boy by a man, 74 percent of the men were or had been in a heterosexual relationship with the boy's mother or another female relative.

The study concluded that 'a child's risk of being molested by his or her relative's heterosexual partner is over 100 times greater than by someone who might be identifiable as being homosexual, lesbian or bisexual. ' (1) Another myth some believe is that children raised by lesbian and gays will be brought up in an 'immoral' environment. There are all kinds of disagreements in this country about what is moral and what is immoral. Some people may think raising children without religion is immoral, yet atheists are allowed to adopt and be foster parents. Some people think drinking and gambling are immoral, but these things do not disqualify someone from being evaluated as an adoptive or foster parent.

If we eliminated all of the people who could possibly be considered 'immoral,' we would have almost no parents left to adopt and provide foster care. That cannot be the right solution. What we can probably all agree on is that it is immoral to leave children without homes when there are qualified parents waiting to raise them. That is exactly what many gays and lesbians can do; they can provide these children with loving, caring homes. There is no true statistics nor any proven studies that show gay and lesbian couples are not suitable to be adoptive or foster parents. Yet, it is a fact and has been proven that gay and lesbian couples are good, suitable, and loving parents.

The only thing we are doing by keeping gay and lesbian couples from adopting is hurting the children in need of good homes. The longer we deny these perfectly suitable parents from adopting the more children suffer. It is simply common sense; to solve the lack of foster parents or adoptive parents in the world, allow suitable people the rights that they deserve.

Bibliography

1. web 4/1/2002, The American Civil Liberties Union.
2. Petit, M & Curtis, P., Child Abuse and Neglect: A Look at the States, 1997 CWL A Stat Book, Child Welfare League of America, Washington, D.
C., 1997, P.
72,124.3. Rivers, Reggie. Denver Post, Restricting Gay Parenting is Wrong. Thursday, February 07, 2002.
4. The Los Angeles Times, "Professors Take Issues With Gay Parenting Research". April 27, 2001.
5. Carole, Jenny, Are Children at Risk for Sexual Abuse by Homosexuals? , Pediatrics, Vol. 94, No. 1 (1994);
6. Davis, Jeanie, Adoption in Same-Sex Couples: Legally Recognizing the Same-Sex Parent Has Real Benefits to the Child, Parents. February 04, 2002.