Comfortable Silence example essay topic

Anticipation tingled my skin, and his hand was cold as it rested in mine. The evening sunlight eerily bounced off the dashboard and hit his face. We drove to a park where we sat in my black Ford Explorer and stared ahead. We were in a car where "we" started, and it was where "we" ended. I knew I would never forget that moment when I let go of a man who I valued more than anyone else in the world. But I needed to and I had to find myself and my faith once again.

As we sat there, I realized that silence had become a normal between us. Not the nice kind of silence or the comfortable silence, but the awkward silence of strangers. Our silence was an avoidance of the truth. For two years, that guy had been my life. He had been my best friend, my boyfriend, my comfort, my strength. But I had come to break that pact, that bond.

And I knew that once I had said what I needed to say, nothing would ever be the same again. I wanted to sit there and hold him and I wanted to know that everything would be okay. If we talked about the truth, everything would be over. So, we chose silence and I let my mind wander to myself.

Everything in my life was changing, and there was nothing I could do about it. I was becoming somebody I didn't want to be. My thumb was bleeding the whole time and I was not sure why. But it was ironic because it kind of symbolized my heart bleeding as it was being torn to pieces. We had something special so I figured that I would never leave him and never stop loving him. I thought I would be the one he needed in good times and in bad.

We understood each other on a level most people could not comprehend. We held a spiritual connection. That was the kind of friendship we had. It was like a roller coaster, though, our relationship.

When either of us were hurt, we would say things we knew were cruel, apologizing the next day. The cycle never ended -- the cruelties, the apologies. Yet I knew why. Though he loved me, he could not take away my pain. It stemmed from events that occurred long before he knew me.

Soon I realized his love could not compete with my inner pain. Though it hurt, I realized I couldn't rely only on him to help me. Only God could give me a true source of contentment. The night I told him this couldn't continue, the tears stung more painfully than ever before.

I had to face my worst fear -- I was alone to confront the real pain inside me. He thought I had deceived him, that I had lied to him about everything. But I had not lied to anyone except myself because I believed that all I needed was his love. At that time, his love was only causing pain. Deep down, I knew it was not healthy for either of us. I simply could not hold on to us any longer.

Since then I have picked myself up. I have become grounded in God once again. I have learned to forgive everybody for everything that has happened in my past that had caused me pain. My true happiness comes from my relationship with God. I know that when I have a relationship again someday, the foundation will be God. When I saw him again for the first time in awhile, I remembered the day we let go.

But that time, I saw the light that shone from within both of us. The darkness has lifted because we have found ourselves again. We both grew up more than words can say. When I saw him again, I realized that perfect love cannot protect someone from themselves.

And sometimes, the most loving thing you can do for someone is to let them go.