Communication Style Of The Opposite Sex example essay topic

Communication Differences between Men and Women in the Work Place Introduction Men and women will never be the same when it comes to both emotional and physical aspects. So, why is it that people are surprised when men and women have trouble communicating? God gave Eve to Adam for companionship. Their differences are what make them a complete pair. Most everyone in today's society is familiar with the book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. The author, John Gray, has written many books about the differences men and women face during everyday life.

The book, Mars and Venus in the Workplace, is the ninth book in his Mars / Venus theme that he began writing in 1993. In this book, Grey informs his audience that men and women communicate with different styles. Grey also acknowledges that there is prejudice against women in the workplace; they have to work twice as hard because it is not a level playing field. Women in the Workplace Men have dominated the workforce for most of civilization up until their patriotic duties called away to war. All of a sudden, the women were responsible for providing for their family while the men were away. Women went to work all over America to earn an income to insure their family's survival.

Women took all sorts of jobs including assembly line positions, office jobs, and even playing professional baseball. When the men returned home from war, the women were expected to resume their place as housewives. The women who had gotten a taste of the professional life decided that they wanted to continue working. Thus, the introduction to women in a man's working environment began.

Women were not taken seriously at first, because they were stepping into a "man's world". Since men and women work closely in the workplace today, there are many complaints addressing the differences in the genders. Simma Lieberman addresses these differences in her article, "Better Communication Between Men and Women in the Workplace: Some Useful Tips". Men tend to think that women take things too seriously, are slow in getting down to business, and try to be "one of the boys". A complaint that women give about men is that they are being labeled names such as: "girls", "honey", and "darling". Other complaints are that men make women into objects, making decisions about work with other men and not including the women, and using expressions that only use sports, violence or sexual connotations such as "More bang for the buck".

When women and men work together to address these issues, they can each bring unique strengths to the team. The strengths that men possess are that they are goal oriented, good at problem solving, and are responsive to challenges. Women's strengths are that they are detail oriented, good at teamwork and collaboration, and they bring a balance of harmony and, serenity, creativity and vision to the team. When all these elements are combined, it makes the team stronger and more able to accomplish goals. Women as Supervisors In society today, women are taking on equal or higher ranking positions than men. Women tend to emphasize equality when communicating with coworkers and those that they supervise.

When a female supervisor tries to befriend a male subordinate, she tends to lose valuable supervisory power. She may find that the men she supervises do not listen, listen to another male supervisor instead, or even give up on her orders. Another mistake that a female supervisor can make is by not establishing a "pecking order". By failing to do this, the man is likely to try and "take over" her position.

A conflict will then occur as to whom is actually in charge. According to Gary Vikesland, author of "Communication 101", women who find their power in criticizing the man's work and not the man, who assumes the role as the expert, and accepts negative feedback and communication from the workers are following the "coaching style" to determine the "pecking order". Common Misconceptions between Men and Women In her article, "Gender Differences in Business Communications", Kathleen Spring tells the story of Kirstin Carey, a young businesswoman who developed her own marketing and communications company after realizing the need for guidance within gender communications. Kirstin Carey, owner of Small Talk Marketing and Communications Inc., finds communication to be the most fascinating part of business.

Carey started writing and speaking on marketing communications topics in 1998. She believes that the most problematic disparity in listening styles occurs in one-to-one business conversations with no distractions. When a man and a woman carry on a conversation, the woman relies heavily on non-verbal cues. Men think that it is polite to remain silent as they listen. Women perceive this as a disinterest in what they are saying, so they clam up. The man believes that the woman has stopped adding to the conversation because of their brilliant, insightful comments, and talk all the more.

The woman has decided that the man is rude. Carey states that is an example of how different the conversational styles of men and women can be. When doing a presentation to women on how to better communicate in the business world, Kirstin Carey provides the following advice to women: Stand up. "Whoever's head is higher has the most power". If an employee comes in to complain, you should ask them to sit or stand up yourself to keep from feeling belittled. Speak in bullet points.

Stating the agenda at the beginning of the meeting gives the audience an idea of how long the meeting will be and it keeps them from looking at their watch. Use analogies. Men are good at using analogies. They compare information in their speeches to sports. Women should also use analogies so that their audience will remember more points from their speech.

Root out "feeling words". Women tend to say, "I think" or "I believe" when beginning a sentence. Instead, you should state, "This product will do well for you". It implies confidence. Say "No". Women have a tendency to not say no for fear of hurting someone's feelings.

Women take on more than they can handle and it creates an inability to finish their work effectively and efficiently. Don't turn sentences into questions. By turning a sentence into a question, it portrays to the audience that you are not sure of yourself. It also leaves listeners room to say "no" or that "it's not okay". Carey believes that women are hitting a glass ceiling due to weak communication skills. She believes that women must educate themselves on being more effective in business communication to be more powerful and successful.

Differences in Pay The U.S. Census Bureau recently reported that women's paychecks are 26% smaller than male coworkers doing the same work. The gap widens to 32% for female executives compared to male executives. It is suggested that women tend to be less aggressive when negotiating base pay during the interview process. Women are more likely to accept the offered salary than men are.

Men tend to negotiate with the for a higher beginning salary. Women who discover that they are being paid less than male coworkers performing the same tasks should ask for a pay raise. It can be tricky when approaching this issue. A common mistake that women make is to state, "I should be getting paid the same as 'Joe' because we do the same work". This method is not likely to be successful in getting a 20% or more pay increase.

By stating, "I have discovered that I am being paid less than 'Joe' and that would be acceptable if I was not out performing them". You should not hesitate to emphasize your accomplishments, successes, and bright future with the company. Improving Communication between the Sexes Differences in the sexes are evident in both physical and behavioral aspects. While God created man and woman equally and with equal worth and value, the genders are different in the way they think, feel, act, and talk.

Communication between the sexes has to be the most challenging differences of all especially in the business world. Dr. Kelley, author of the article, "Communication between Men and Women in the Context of the Christian Community", presents several strategies to improve communication between genders. Dr. Kelley first instructs her readers to become aware of their own communication style. Every person has his or her own way of communicating. She suggests that you should evaluate your words, your tone, and your body language. Then you should compare your communication style to those that you consider effective communicators.

Self-evaluation is extremely important in improving your communication abilities. Secondly, you should understand the communication style of the opposite sex. Evaluate the communication style of the people around you - spouse, child, parent, and friends. Understanding individual differences in communication can better your ability to communicate in a business sector. If a member of your work team is reluctant to speak out in public, but feels more comfortable in a private setting, then you should consider this when scheduling meetings. Next, you should adjust to those conversational styles.

Communication is a learned behavior and behavior can be adapted. When you are giving a verbal message and your body language suggests differently, you can lose credibility. You should work on portraying gestures that illuminate your words. Fourth, you should alter your conversational style to fit the context that you are trying to present. Some things are better discussed in private than to be shared with an audience.

There are usually individuals in a group that tend to provide too many comments during a conversation and it tends to annoy other members of the group. If you are guilty of this practice, then maybe you should alter your conversation by only providing comments on the issues that are most important to you. The fifth strategy presented during Dr. Kelley's article is to not assume that the opposite sex understands your message. Just because the message is clear to you does not mean that it is clear to the receiver. One common mistake made during a presentation is to make mostly masculine or feminine illustrations. One should evenly use he or she during the speech.

Finally, you should not criticize others who communicate differently than you. It is a human tendency to think, "My way is the best way". Different conversational styles are not wrong. They are just different. You should embrace the differences and adjust when needed.

Men and women need to pay special attention to this strategy. Men tend to confront conflict, while women tend to avoid it. Men and women can learn so much from one another if they acknowledge and respect their differences in communication. This is especially true when taking into consideration how men and women communicate in the workplace. Each party has an unending supply of knowledge to share with each other. If they can get past their communication barriers, then they will be able to share this information easier.

This is also true when you take into account a husband and wife. Marital relationships would progress smoothly if both parties would respect each other's differences and learn from their communication mistakes. Marriage is similar to the workplace. The two individuals must communicate effectively together to create a successful life. Conclusion As the roles change to adjust to the new millennium, multiple obstacles stand in the way. Women have to work harder in order to become equal to the men who have occupied these management positions for decades.

The communication styles that men and women maintain are so different that the same sentence can be interpreted different ways. Kirstin Carey provides advice to women on how to communicate more efficiently with men. She suggests that women stand up when talking to make themselves more powerful. Speaking in bullet points helps the audience know what to expect. Using analogies to make their point stick with the audience. Root out "feeling words" such as "I think" so that their message will be more powerful.

Women should learn to say "no" when asked to do a project that would put excess stress on them. Women have the tendency to avoid hurting someone's feelings by always saying "yes". Last Kirstin advises women to not turn sentences into question. This allows the listener to say "no" or "it's not okay". Dr. Rhonda Kelley also provides information on how to communicate better with the opposite sex. Her suggestions are to become aware of your own communication style.

You should also understand the communication style of the opposite sex. If you are aware that there are difference styles of communication, then it will improve your understanding of how to do the next step, adjust to the conversation styles of others. Individuals should be aware that you could use different styles of conversation to fit the information that you are trying to present. You should also never assume that the opposite sex is going to understand what you are trying to say. You should never criticize others who communicate differently than you. Men and women are ruthless about criticizing the opposite sex.

Bibliography

Gray, John. Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus. New York: Harper Collins, 1992.
Kelley, Rhonda H., "Communication between Men and Women in the Context of the Christian Community". Retrieved on October 4, 2004 from web communication.
php Lieberman, Simma. "Better Communication between Men and Women in the Workplace: Some Useful Tips". Retrieved on October 4, 2004 from web Kathleen McGinn.
Gender Differences in Business Communications". Retrieved on October 10, 2004 from web Today, "How Men, Women are Different at the Office".
Retrieved October 4, 2004 from web Gary.
Communication 101". Retrieved October 4, 2004 from web.