Conrad's And Mother's Relationship example essay topic

In the film "ORDINARY PEOPLE" the complex relationship types between the main character Conrad his parents and psychiatrist not only portrays an example of a disfunctional family but also conceals the in depth message of the different elements that makes up a relationship. Although the relationship examples of this film varies by type, but these relationship all share the common elements such as the level of trust, intimacy, attitude of verbal and non verbal communications towards each other, which allows the audience to determine the cause and effect of these different elements in action in each of these different case. Husband and Wife The relationship between the husband and wife seems initially to be perfect. They both show each other expressions of love. There is understanding, harmony, financial security, and good communication between them. The couple spends a lot of time together, discussing future plans, and talking about the good moments they had in the past.

However, behind all of this positive interaction between the two of them is something they are both not able to face. The tragic loss of their son, Buck has caused a great amount of pain and anger they are not expressing. We can ask ourselves, is this really what these two people were showing us Is their relationship so perfect as it appears in the beginning, or is there some deep dark secret yet to be uncovered. The couple was an example of a disfunctional family. True and honest communication among the family members did not exist. The aspect of expressing their real feelings never happened.

The pain and sadness they felt never came to the surface, even with the passing of time. The wife lived in denial, trying to live the life o a perfect person unaffected by what had happened to her son Buck. A certain image had to be upheld and everything else was secondary. Even the love for her husband was not as perfect as it was shown... She tries to keep these feelings and memories of her lost son buried deep inside her. She finds it very difficult to show any emotion concerning the fact that one of her sons is never coming back.

She tried to portray an image of things being just perfect. The reality was very different however. After seeing a Psychiatrist, the husband started to realize something was wrong, then began to question the soundness of their relationship One of the saddest moments for him was his son's funeral. The husband remembered when his wife forced him to change into a white shirt from a blue one he had first chosen.

The color of the shirt was not so important at the time but that showed there was something more serious happening with her. This aspect of the film showed the husband that she did not care very much for her other son Conrad. Which caused him to realized the truth of the imperfections in thier relationship to a bitter seperation... Conrad and his Father Conrad and his father, Calvin, had a very good and strong trusting relationship. Although Conrad was stubborn and didn't want to speak of his troubles, Calvin would keep trying and didn't give up.

Calvin really cared for Conrad and wanted him to share his feelings and emotions. For example, there were times when Calvin would walk into Conrad's room just to make sure he was doing fine. Calvin not only showed his affections non verbally, he showed them verbally also. He wanted to see his son back to life, back to who he was. When Conrad finally decided to see the psychiatrist, Calvin was more than glad to hear about it and to pay for the expenses.

Basically, what Conrad wanted, Calvin would give. Their father and son relationship was difficult at times because of all that happened in the past. However, to make their relationship ongoing and as strong as possible, Calvin would do anything for Conrad's happiness. One of Calvin's biggest goal was to see Conrad enjoy his life. Something as little as a smile or a conversation from Conrad would make Calvin happy. Although their relationship had nonverbal communications or silence at times, their feelings were strong for one another and they knew that they could count on each other.

For instance, when Conrad covered his head with a pillow crying, Calvin knew that talking would not solve anything. Instead, Calvin would leave him alone and talk to Conrad when Conrad felt like talking. They had a common understanding for each other, and although there was silence, Calvin would still try to understand and respect what Conrad was going through. Their relationship was built slowly, and became a very strong and unbreakable bond. Conrad and Dr. Burger Conrad and Dr. Burger had a great relationship.

Their relationship surpassed whatever relationship he had with his mom and maybe even the relationship with his dad. In the beginning, Conrad was very reluctant in seeing Dr. Burger. He was very nervous and uneasy at the thought of talking about his feelings and thoughts with a total stranger. During Conrad first session with Dr. Burger, he was very uncomfortable and unresponsive. Conrad was very tense. The answers he gave were very brief and blunt.

Conrad wanted to leave right away. It was like Dr. Burger had to keep pushing Conrad just to talk and all Conrad had on his mind was leaving the office as soon as possible. After a couple of more sessions with Dr. Burger, Conrad became more comfortable with his presence. Conrad started to learn to open up, and he didnt have a hard time telling Dr. Burger anything. Trust between these two started to form, but it was a slow process. Once trust was established, Conrad spoke freely about his feelings and his thoughts.

His responses to Dr. Burger were longer and went into more detail. Conrad looked very relaxed and at ease with him. Dr. Burger didnt need to push Conrad to open up because he did it himself. Conrad started to listen to what Dr. Burger said to him. Dr. Burger helped Conrad release some of his anger and frustrations about his family and friends by just being there to listen to him. No matter how Conrad spoke or acted, Dr. Burger was there for him.

Dr. Burger was the only one Conrad really trusted. Conrad didnt realize that till his friend died. Dr. Burger was the first person Conrad called to talk about it, and Dr. Burger didnt even hesitate to aid his problems. Conrad knew he found a friend in Dr. Burger, and that Dr. Burger was a true friend. Conrad And Mom Conrad a very intelligent, deep thought, serious person; suffering from major depression resulting from Buck's fatal accident: Conrad blames himself for everybody's problem and thus carrie false guilt... he felt guilty for Buck's death because Buck let go of the boat and Conrad did not; he felt responsible his mother's cold behavior towards him. And initially felt guilt for Karen's suicide.

Mother: she is very articulate with the fallacy of perfection; she does not discuss major issues at hand... She would rather pretend everything is fine and move on with life... She wants to portray to the world that she has a perfect family, and they can handle any problems that occur within the family... however, when the family wants to talk about the death of Buck, she somehow changes the subject. Relationship between Conrad and Mother: Their relationship is very distant; the only time they covers with one another, to discuss the things that Conrad has done, such as swimming, school work etc., each time the conversation between them would start to go a little deeper, mother would leave the room. It appeared that mother resented Conrad in many ways; I think she blamed him for Buck's death, and I think she resented him because he survived and Buck did not... she obviously favored Buck over Conrad...

Also, I believe mother resented Conrad because he tried to kill himself and was hospitalized... Not only did this make the family look bad, but it also brought up the grief of Buck's death... The mother is a major controller and when things do not go her way, she pretends they do not exist and leaves the room. Mother did not give Conrad any affection at all; when grandmother wanted to take picture with Conrad and mother alone; mother became very disturb and was very hesitant to stand next to Conrad.

However, when she had taken pictures with everyone else in the family, she was very pleasant... Once in the movie Conrad hugged his mother, but she did not respond. I believe this was Conrad's way of bringing the relationship back together again. I believe mother was also very jealous of her husband's love and concern for Conrad. She was always trying to get her husband to go away on vacation, again to run from the family's problems... Conrad's and mother's relationship was very distant, they could not connect with one another, even though Conrad did attempt to connect with his mother, but she would not permit it...

It as if she just wanted Conrad out of the picture, because he was making her.