Deborah's Husband example essay topic

Stop, Think, and Listen Before Speaking When people speak before thinking or even listening to what is being said, the breakdown of communication can happen rapidly. Poor listening habits can negatively affect business and personal relationships. Here is a situation where poor listening habits and poor thinking skills had a negative impact and hindered the communications between a leader of a Family Readiness Group (FRG) and the FRG members. In July of 2003, 1/87 Infantry Battalion deployed to combat in Afghanistan. The deployment was to be only six months long, and the soldiers would be rejoined with their family members shortly after the New Year started. The family members that were left behind formed a FRG to assist families during the deployment.

Deborah, being the most senior wife in the section was, made the section FRG leader, which means her duties were to keep the FRG members informed and up-to-date on the situation of the deployed soldiers. However, Deborah worked a full time job and had a family of her own to care for; Deborah attended all the battalion FRG meetings. Deborah also called, informed, and kept all her members up-to-date of the incoming information that was being released at the battalion FRG meetings. Deborah would also pass on information to the members of her section's FRG that was given to her by her husband; Deborah was doing her best to ease the minds of the family members that were left behind to run the house and carry on with daily life.

At the time, it was late November and the Battalion was scheduled to return home in six weeks. Thanksgiving was only two days away, Christmas was just around the corner a feeling of hope and joy was in the air. Then, in the middle of the night, Deborah's phone rang; Deborah's husband was calling; she could tell from his voice that something was wrong. Through a cracked voice, Deborah's husband informed her that he had just received word that the Battalion would be staying in Afghanistan for another four to six months.

He asked Deborah if she could call just the section's wives and as tactfully as she could, inform the wives. He also asked Deborah to tell the wives that the information being passed was not being formally released as of yet that he just wanted to give the wives a forewarning so that they were not blindsided when the extension was officially released. As soon as Deborah hung up the phone, she called an old friend, the relieving unit's Sergeant Major to confirm the information that was just given to her. Once Deborah confirmed that the information her husband had given to her was, true Deborah called just the wives in her section. One by one, Deborah called the wives in the section and informed them that though the information was not being officially released as of yet, that she should be prepared for her husband to be gone another four to six months. Making these telephone calls was one of the toughest task's Deborah has ever had to do; Deborah's heart would sink every time she had to inform another wife that her husband was not coming home when he was expected.

When Deborah finished calling all the wives in the section, she crawled back into bed and held her children tight, knowing that in the morning when they woke up she would have the hard task of also informing her daughters that their father would not coming home for several more months. By 9: 00 a. m., Deborah's phone was ringing off the hook the First Sergeant's wife, the Company Commander's wife, and the Battalion Commander's wife were all calling and yelling at her for calling and upsetting the wives in the section. All the women told Deborah the same thing, that the information that Deborah had passed on to the wives in the section was wrong. The senior wives wanted to know where Deborah had received her information and informed her that if the Battalion were to be extended over in Afghanistan for another six months that she would be the first to know and she has not received such notice. Deborah was so upset; not by the fact that she had been yelled at; however the fact that she knew that her information that was passed on was correct. Several days went by, when an emergency FRG meeting was held to inform the battalion FRG that the Battalion had been extended and would be in Afghanistan for another four to six months.

After the meeting the three wives that had called Deborah days prior apologized to her for calling and yelling at her. To Deborah the damage had already been done, Deborah no longer had faith in the FRG. Deborah felt that the wives in her section had betrayed her confidence by calling the Commander's wife and informing her of what Deborah had told them. That day Deborah gave up her position in the FRG and informed the main FRG leader she would have to find another wife to take over the section. The factor that affected the interpersonal communication in this scenario was the fact that the people involved did not listen carefully to what was being said to them. When Deborah called the section wives and informed them that even though the information was not official, she felt that this was her duty to give the wives in her section a forewarning that the Battalion's deployment to Afghanistan would be extended another four to six months.

The wives should have listened to what was being said and prepared themselves for when the information was officially released; instead they became emotional and made the situation spin out of control and hurt Deborah, the one person that was looking out for the section's wives best interests. In conclusion, the entire situation could have been avoided two different ways. The first way the situation could have been avoided; was if the wives that called crying to the Commander's wife would have listened closer to what Deborah was informing them of, even though what she was saying was not what they wanted to hear. The second way the situation could have been avoided; was if Deborah would have kept the information that she had received from her husband concerning the Battalion being extended in Afghanistan to herself, and waited for the official release from the Battalion.