Democratic Parenting Style example essay topic

Would you have come out different if your parents used a different parenting style? If you are considered "cool" now could you have come out a nerd if your parents would have used a different parenting style? "Parenting style is one of the primary determinants of your child's outcome whether he succeeds, achieves, meets the challenges, flounders, gives up, or runs from or fails in handling life". (6) The purpose of this paper is to describe the outcomes, processes, labor, and techniques of parenting in a psychological point of view.

Parenting styles are defined as the "manner in which parents express their beliefs on how to be a good or bad parent". (4) Each parenting style has its weaknesses and strengths. All parents incorporate love and limit in their style of parenting. There are four different types of parenting styles: authoritarian, permissive, democratic, and uninvolved parents. The first type of parenting style is called authoritarian. In this parenting style the parents are the boss.

They make strict rules and they enforce them. They focus more on restrictions than a loving relationship with their child. They believe it is their job as parents to catch their children being bad and punish them. These parents use external control on their children instead of taking time to tell the kid what they did wrong and why they should not do it again.

Something these parents do not realize is that they do not catch their kids being good. Authoritarian parents are firm and unsympathetic. Authoritarian parents love to use discipline. An example can be if Timmy decides he wants to go to a party on Friday.

His parents tell him he has to be back by 9: 00 pm. He gets angry and decides to come back home at 11: 00 pm. When he gets home his parents punish him by beating him with a stick. They do not explain to him why they are hitting him or they do not take the time to ask why he has arrived home late.

As a result to this form of discipline the children usually react quickly and do not make an attempt to negotiate with their parents in fear that they will receive more discipline. The outcome of this type of parenting style is that the child usually becomes unfriendly, anxious, distrusted, and withdrawn. Most of them also have a low self-esteem. A positive outcome is that the child becomes academically successful because the parents are so demanding.

A great example of a permissive parent is how Mrs. Star treats her 8th period class. Permissive parents allow complete freedom to their children and there is very little discipline visible. Permissive parenting was "Popular in the 1950's and 1960's" because of all the troubles going on during WWII. (5) They like to tell their kids "One more time... ". whenever the kids do something bad. An example can be if Timmy asks his parents if he can go to a party. They tell him he has to be home by 10 pm.

Then his parents tell him the limit is 10 pm. Then he suggests 12 pm and because they do not want Timmy to be angry with them they let him do whatever he wants. Permissive parents have a fear that their kids will not like them. Unlike authoritarian parents, permissive parents make rules but they never enforce the rules. The children in this parenting style are usually immature, dependant, aggressive, and unhappy. They do not do well academically because of their inability to regulate to the school rules.

Now we come to the democratic parenting style. This is the best parenting style when it comes to raising a child in a healthy environment. Democratic parents make rules but they are flexible with their rules depending on the different situations. Democratic parents also have more open and honest relationships with their children. They allow their children more of a chance to take responsibility and learn from their mistakes. One thing you should remember when you are raising a child is that your child should not be afraid of you.

When your children do something that you do not believe is right, talk with them firmly, but at the same time try to understand what they are saying. Timmy once again is going to a party but his parents tell him he has to be home by 10 pm. Timmy suggests that he should come home at 11 pm. His parents try to please him but come close to their original plan by letting him come home at 10: 30. Lets say if Timmy comes home at 12 am. Authoritarian parents will not only depend on discipline.

They will explain to the child what he has done wrong, and then they will give the child a reasonable punishment. This is the hardest of the parenting styles because you have to spend more time on your child. Unlike just taking the easy way and letting do whatever they want like permissive parents or punishing them for everything they do without even explaining why you are punishing them. Children of democratic parents usually come out to be "friendly, self-reliant, and socially responsible". (1) Uninvolved parents have nothing to do with their children. This may be because the parents work too long, are involved with drugs, or are divorced.

In this parenting style there is a great lack of emotional involvement and supervision of children. This is the most uncaring style and does not meet the needs of children. Lets change the situation of Timmy as an example; Timmy's cousin Jimmy has uninvolved parents. He says he wants to go to a party along with Timmy. In the first place, his parents are not even there to allow or deny him to go. Therefore he goes to the party and comes home whatever time he wants because Jimmy's parents do not care about what is going on in his life.

When Jimmy gets home his parents try to control his behavior but give up after he argues or whines about the situation. Therefore, the child regains control over the parent and gets what he wants. Children who have uninvolved parents end up having a low self-esteem because their parents do not show attention therefore they think that they are loved by anyone. It is a terrible feeling to not even be loved by your own family.

This can sometimes lead to kids becoming hostile. The last and the hardest parenting style for a child to experience is the neglectful parenting. In this parenting style parents show little love towards their child and little interest. The main difference between uninvolved parents and neglectful parents is that uninvolved parents love their children more than the neglectful parents. The main reason why they got into being a permissive parent is because they worry too much about what their children think about them.

They love their kids too much and do not want their kids to hate them. In different situations, usually the oldest child of the family receives neglectful parenting. The parents focus so much on the other children and expect the oldest child to do things on his / her own. It is not rare that children who are exposed to this parenting style "become delinquents or drug addicts as adolescents". (6) We should always remember that in order for our kids to have a successful life they must be raised right. The way they decide which parenting style to choose is by which one they feel is best or by the way their parents raised them.

The best parenting style to use on your child is either the democratic or authoritative approach. In the authoritative approach the children are successful socially and academically. Parents should remember that they must not discipline their children for any foolish reason. Explain to the child what he or she did wrong and why they should not do it again. All parents want to be good parents. When parents use the parenting style that their parents once used it is usually because they do not know any other parenting style to use.

Or they think that since their parent's parenting style worked on them, then it will work on their children. Making decisions to help mold your child into a good person can be controversial amongst families. The "lowest point in marriage" is when kids in the family reach teenage years. (2) Think twice next time before you discipline your child. Think about which parenting style is best so that they will grow up to become magnificent people.

Bibliography

1. Gal dwell, Malcolm. The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference. Little, Brown & Company. January 2002.
2. Stahl Michael, Phillip. Parenting After Divorce. Psychology, October 2000.
3. Phelan, Thomas. Surviving Your Adolescents Parent magic, Inc. January 1998.
4. Reuchlin, Gail. The Pocket Parent. Workman Publishing Company, Inc. October 2001.