Elizabeth And Mrs Ardavi example essay topic

Caroline Hwang made the point in her essay 'The Good Daughter' that as a first generation American her parents expected her to marry a Korean man. Hwang decided to only date the non-Korean men which she knew she could 'stay clearheaded about" so she could fulfill her parent's wishes and bear children that looked Korean. In the essay "Your Place is Empty' by Anne Tyler the decision to marry within cultural boundaries was not made. Hassan (a young doctor who took up practice in America) decided to marry Elizabeth (a very American girl). Hassan's mother decides to take a trip to America and stay as a house guest.

The cultural gap between Mrs. Ardavi and Elizabeth as mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and their interactions seemed to be one of the main points of the essay. Certain beliefs and behaviors separated them all from each other. The beliefs and behaviors that marked Mrs. Ardavi as a foreigner in America were also on some occasions cause for disagreement. Elizabeth tried to be hospitable to her mother-in-law and Hassan was the middle ground for the two. Some of the differences were easy to dismiss as cultural difference and simply worked around. Yet some of the differences were harder to work around.

Some commonalities were found and seemed to become the basis of their relationship. Some of Mrs. Ardavi's beliefs were common in Iranian culture but not seen in American culture. Beliefs in medals, prayers, and other superstitions are a part of Mrs. Ardavi's daily life. Although Elizabeth is coming from an American perspective she seemed to be more understanding.

She showed this by allowing her mother-in-law to put tiny "medals" on Hilary, including a tiny disc "inscribed with the name of Allah" and "a tiny gold Koran, with a very effective prayer for long life folded up within it". Elizabeth also conspired with Mrs. Ardavi to hide a miniature Koran inside the glove compartment of Hassan's car. Even though the cultural difference was a factor this seems to show that there are certain commonalities in their personalities and beliefs between most cultures. In Mrs. Ardavi's beliefs there is such a thing as clean and unclean. As a simple example bacon is an unclean food in the Muslim religion.

Though she was not allowed to eat it Mrs. Ardavi was still curious about the taste of bacon. Mrs. Ardavi separated herself from Elizabeth in the clean and unclean category. Since Elizabeth is a Christian girl she is considered unclean. This caused minor difficulties while doing laundry. Mrs. Ardavi had to used a special rack which she ran under water in the shower (because Elizabeth assembled it) to do her laundry. Hilary is another matter altogether.

Hilary is only three years old and doesn't understand why her grandmother acts so differently. At most times she doesn't even seem to care. Though she is not Muslim or full blooded Iranian Mrs. Ardavi still had no problem treating Hilary as if she was Iranian and a part of the family. Hilary seemed to be the largest commonality between the women. The scene in which Hilary seemed to bring the women closer the most is when Mrs. Ardavi first arrives and asks to see her. The smells "of milk and rubber, and talcum powder, smells she would know anywhere.

Even in the half-light from the hallway, she could tell that Hilary was beautiful. She had black, tumbling hair, long black lashes, and a skin of a tone they called wheat-colored, lighter than Hassan's". In this part Mrs. Ardavi shows that Hilary is not part of any real category yet, not Christian or Muslim so she may be considered an innocent still. The issue of Hilary's status as being clean or unclean is just not discussed. Hilary was also the main subject of some of the disagreements between Elizabeth and Mrs. Ardavi. The methods of child rearing that Elizabeth used on Hilary were at times quite different from those which Mrs. Ardavi had at one point used on her own sons or sometimes suggested.

Some of the techniques caused Mrs. Ardavi to rethink some of the methods she used on her sons and how she herself was raised. Certain things, aside from beliefs, separated Mrs. Ardavi from typical American culture. Food was one of the first differences that Elizabeth and Mrs. Ardavi opposed each other on. Mrs. Ardavi was used to the style in which Iranian food was cooked, not American food.

This caused some digestive issues for Mrs. Ardavi, who tried to remedy the situation by cooking dinner instead of letting Elizabeth do it. In taking over the kitchen Mrs. Ardavi tried to help Elizabeth to relax, but Elizabeth was only made anxious and upset by the situation. It also seemed that in the same way Mrs. Ardavi was not used to American cooking Elizabeth really didn't enjoy Iranian foods. When it came to clothing (aside from the method of washing) Mrs. Ardavi felt that Americans were very wasteful when just walking around the house, when a simple housecoat was appropriate.

In public Mrs. Ardavi always wore her kerchief which was the only reminder of the veil she once wore. She only shed her kerchief once 'in a sudden fit of daring' at a Christmas party. This demonstrated that clothing can be very important as a part of social connections and part of cultural connections. Among the gifts for Elizabeth and Hilary mentioned in the beginning is included for Hilary "a doll dressed in the complicated costume of a nomad tribe, and an embroidered sheepskin vest"; for Elizabeth she included gold jewelry.

All kinds of examples were given in "Your Place is Empty" that could show the problems that could arise with an intercultural marriage. The problems may not be within the couple, but with family members. This is the situation which Caroline Hwang was trying to avoid by marrying a man from her own culture, even though she is an American. She didn't want to marry a non-Korean so that there would be no cultural issues to deal with.

The differences seemed to be too much to deal with for her situation.