Qualitative Research The researcher's qualitative research consisted of speaking with platonic friends of the opposite sex in casual random settings. The qualitative research was completely random using friends by chance that had no idea of the experiment. In doing so the researcher realizes that it is unethical, but figured it was the only way to find the real answers to his problem. During the conversation the researcher at one point or another came to ask the same four questions to all of the subjects involved in the experiment. The four questions were as follows: 1) we are strictly platonic friends, right? 2) Why are you my friend?
3) Have you ever wanted to be more than friends? 4) Is it a possibility for us to be more than friends? The 'so called' platonic friends names will all remain confidential in order to keep their business private. To this point there have been ten random friends that have partaken in the qualitative study. In most of the studies the answers stayed consistent. To question number one all ten subjects agreed that 'Yes we are platonic friends.
' For question number two, all sorts of answers were recorded. Most stayed along the line of conventional reasons for being a friend. Some mentioned reasons such as cute, funny, easy to talk to and popular. Three of the ten did however mention that they in fact didn't want to be friends when we first met.
They stated they were looking for ore from the beginning it just didn't happen. Question number three an astonishing seven out of ten platonic friends noted they at one point of another did want to be ore than friends. One individual went as far as to say that they quit being my friend due to the fact that she found out that I was involved with another girl. In question four again another seven out of ten friends agreed that something more could become of our friendship. Two mentioned that they had hoped that it would have already happened. Most that replied yes to question number four either looked puzzled of asked if I was still involved with my girlfriend.
In one example for the researcher was left stunned. For privacy sake we will call the subject by the fake name of molly. In the platonic informal interview with Molly the researchers exact problem was proven just the way predicted. The platonic friend molly has been a long time friend.
A bit of background information to the scenario is that this friend and the researcher have been platonic friends for over a year. The friendship involves much of the same hobbies such as sports and working out. The same questions were posed in the natural random setting at the YMCA. In fact this happened to be the same place the friendship began.
While working out and like always the four questions were gradually asked. The answer to question number one stayed constant. She answered with a "yes were friends, why?" The researcher replied just curious. The researcher then went on to number two and asked the question. She gave the same old friendship remarks; nice, polite, funny mostly the usual.
The subject changed and we went on with our business. The researcher later approached the molly and posed question number three. Now this is where the study became interesting. She paused and then replied, "Do you remember when we first met? I came in and worked out almost every day". The researcher answered yes.
Molly went on to say " I wasn't coming in to work out. I was coming in to see you". She continued on telling of how she just posed to be my friend in order to try to become more. She continued to tell me that the reason she quit working out for so long was because she found out I was involved with another girl. Thee researcher then posed question four only phrased it different.
Instead he asked if I wasn't taken would you consider being more than just platonic friends? She replied", Yes why do you think im still your friend. I'm just waiting for my turn". She then turned around and walked away. The researcher couldn't believe what had just happened, but at the same time was overwhelmed that his theory once again was proven correct. In an interview set up for married couple to speak of past experience with opposite sex friends much of the same conclusions were noted.
Only one married couple have been interview due to time constraint to date, but the finding have been very beneficial. Both husband and wife agreed that there social life had dramatically changed since taking vows. They even noted there social life changed since becoming seriously involved. The wife did most of the speaking and spoke for both most of the time. She first noted (and the husband smirkingly agreed) that she had tons of just guy friends when she was single. She said, "most of the guys would stay friends, things would be weird or they just wouldn't come around as much once my husband and I became serious".
She also recalled one friend being very upset at her for starting a new relationship with another man. They both agreed that once the rings went on their fingers that good friends from the opposite sex turned into casual acquaintances over night. They both said that the friendship were like night and day form before to after. She also said " no single man even thinks about becoming friends with a married women". This is the research the researcher was exactly looking for. Although it was only one example the researcher shows the theory that no friendship is strictly platonic.
The researcher hopes to do more with married couple in the future to help find better conclusions to the relationships of platonic friendships.