Friends Drink Light Beer example essay topic

A chemistry teacher wanted to teach his 9th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. 'Now, class, observe the worms closely,' he said, putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm he put into the whiskey.

It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. 'Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?' the teacher asked. One of the students raised his hand and wisely, responded, 'Drink whiskey and you won't get worms. ' Quotes To Go With Your Beer The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they " re sober.

- William Butler Yeats An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. - For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemingway Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. - Ernest Hemingway You " re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. - Dean Martin Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it. - Anonymous No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or as good as drink. - G.K. Chesterton Time is never wasted when you " re wasted all the time.

- Catherine Zandonella Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. - Ambrose Bierce Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol. - Anonymous I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? - W.C. Fields Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder. - Anonymous Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.

- Lady Astor to Winston Churchill Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. - His reply If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomach es. - David Daye Work is the curse of the drinking classes. - Oscar Wilde When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.

- Anonymous I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. - Tom Waits 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? - Anonymous Conserve water.

Drink Beer. - Anonymous You don't like jail? Naw, they got the wrong kind of bars in there. - Charles Bukowski Beer is good food. - Anonymous It's better to have beer in hand than gas in tank. - Anonymous Life is too short to drink cheap beer.

- Anonymous Beer: it's not just for breakfast anymore. - Anonymous Beer: Nature's laxative. - Anonymous Beer: If you can't taste it, why bother! - Anonymous All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.

- Dave Barry When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer. - Postpetroleum Guzzler, Dave Barry Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

- Dave Barry's Bad Habits, Dave Barry Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry My problem with most athletic challenges is training. I'm lazy and find that workouts cut into my drinking time. - Anonymous The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

- Humphrey Bogart Friends don't let friends drink Light Beer. - Anonymous If nothing beats a Bud, given the choice, I'd take the nothing... - Anonymous Draft beer, not people! - Anonymous Adhere to Schweinheitsgebot. Don't put anything in your beer that a pig wouldn't eat. - David Geary Why is American beer served cold?

So you can tell it from urine. - David Moulton A drink a day keeps the shrink away. - Edward Abbey Put it back in the horse! - H. Allen Smith, an American humorist in the '30's-'50's, after he drank his first American beer at a bar. The Beer Song (Sung to the tune of 'Do Ray Me') Do -- the stuff that buys me beer Ray -- the guy who sells me beer Me -- the guy who drinks the beer Far -- a long way to get beer So -- I'll have another beer La -- I'll have another beer Tea -- No, thanks I'm drinking beer That will bring us back to... (looks into empty glass) D'OH!

Lesson On The Evils Of Liquor A chemistry teacher wanted to teach his 9th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.