Gap Between The Wife And Ex Husband example essay topic

Casey Wilson Patrick Walters Writing 121 21 October 2003 Pieces Left Behind In Lydia Davis' "The Sock" and Bernard Malamud's "A Lost Grave", both the central characters are unable to let go of their lost loved ones. Each clings to a material object formerly occupied by said lover. In Davis's tory, the unnamed ex-wife possesses the sock of her divorced and remarried husband, with whom she still feels a deep bond. She feels as if it carries a piece of him in it, and through it continues to experience a sense of closeness to the man. Malamud's character Hecht seeks to find his wife's grave, which besides literally holding her body, he assumes, is his only connection to her. By finding the grave he feels in turn he will have found her once again.

By passing on, the significant others have left holes in the people who loved them. Each character longs for their former partner, and the only relief they have from their grief comes from the possessions they left behind, be it as valuable as a burial site or as insignificant as a sock. A sense of loss pervades the stories. The ex-wife has lost her partner in life, who is also the father of her son. Even though time has passed since the divorce or separation, there remains a feeling of connection to her past marriage. She still refers to him as her husband: "My husband is married to a different woman now...

". (92). It is difficult for her to let the man go, but he is permanently gone, in the sense of being remarried. The presence of another woman in the fold serves to create and widen the gap between the wife and ex-husband.

The reciprocation of love has ceased permanently. Her spouse did not only leave her, he chose another woman to continue to live with and love. They even play with the son together. The passing of Hecht's wife Celia mirrors the emotional break between the now single mother and her former husband.

Her being dead is the permanency that keeps Hecht from ever finding that connection with her. His wife is gone in the emotional sense, as well as the literal. As in Davis's tory, time has passed since Celia died. Hecht hasn't visited her grave or d welled his thoughts on her for some time: "He hadn't been to the cemetery in many years... ". (209).

This suppression of continued grief on top of his wife actually being dead creates the emotional separation of Hecht and the former Mrs. Hecht. He hasn't wanted to think about her in years. The ex-wife doesn't have the luxury of repressing any feelings or emotions about her spouse. The fact they have a child together brings him into her life constantly. This should work out just fine for her, because she still wants that connection with her ex.

The son represents a living, breathing line to the man: "They came out here last summer for a few weeks to see my son, who is his and mine" (92). Hecht had no children with his wife, so there is no surviving connection between them after her passing. There is nothing of substantial value left behind by her, with one exception. The grave she was buried in, is the only thing of any importance to Hecht: "I wish to remind you that a lost grave isn't a missing wedding ring we are talking about" (210).

The search to recover the grave begins to consume him, it is his last connection to his deceased wife, the loss of it means he has lost her permanently. The grave becomes the last link he has to her in any way shape or form. Instead of connecting with her husband through her son, the ex-wife takes comfort in a sock he leaves at her house. As something he once literally occupied, it feels to her like a piece of himself; and she takes comfort in that. It reminds her of the life she shared with the father of her son: .".. and I couldn't help thinking of all the other socks of his I had picked up, stiff with his sweat and threadbare on the sole, in all our life together from place to place" (93).

The emotional loss she feels with her husband is somewhat relieved by a tiny worn sock. She is clinging to her past life, and the article of thread is propagating that behavior. It brings back memories of what she considers a better part of her life. The part she shared with her loved one. Hecht's search for the grave of his wife reminds him of his life with her. It was unpleasant most of the time: " He wished he had told Goodman she had spoiled his life" (211).

He is past sixty-five, and as such, is looking back on his life with a much deeper gaze than past self-reflections. He wants comfort in his memories, even if they are filled with unhappiness caused by his wife. By all accounts, mostly his, he shouldn't care what happened to the grave of his wife. Yet when faced with the prospect of losing her burial plot, which he paid for even though they were separated, suddenly the location of her grave site becomes a priority. It is his only connection to the life he had with her, the life he revisiting so heavily. When the plot is recovered, and she is found to not be in it, he is not nearly as upset as the prospect of losing the grave made him.

Much as the husband once occupied the sock, Celia no longer lays in her grave. It is the object, the burial site that is, that gives him his comfort, not the body of his wife. Both characters in the stories gain an emotional attachment to the possessions of their former lovers. Former spouses, more specifically. These objects satisfy the need to remember the past because of the memories associated with them. The ex-wife still feels like her husband's partner, and hungers for that relationship because he shares it with another woman now.

She is not even satisfied by the love of her son towards that end. It does not fill the hole in her. Hecht wants to dwell on memories of his younger days, even if they were unhappy, because he was at least able to share part of his life with someone. Having someone making you miserable is better than nobody in his mind. The man misses his wife. Their respective objects remind them of the feelings that were part of their previous relationship.

This is what both Hecht and the woman want, to feel like they did with their partners. To experience those emotions because they cannot have the real thing anymore. Divorce and death cut off both of them. What is left behind for them to relive a one-sided version of their relationships with other than the possessions of their other halves?

Nothing more left behind than a sock and a grave.

Bibliography

Mills, Mark, ed. Crafting the Very Short Story. New Jersey: Pearson Education, 2003 Davis, Lydia. "The Sock". Mills 92-94 Malamud, Bernard. "The Lost Grave". Mills 209-212.