Healthy Children As A Single Parent example essay topic

Single Parenting and Raising Healthy Children Single parents and their children constitute a rapidly increasing population. In the past single parenting was seen as a broken system, these units today provide a viable alternative to nuclear families (Kleist, 1999, p. 1). In looking at the characteristics of single parents raising healthy children, I will describe some of the challenges unique to single parenting, and review positive parenting techniques shown to be effective. Social Development has not prepared individuals to be single parents. Single mothers and single fathers need to establish strong support networks, personal friendships, and positive parenting skills. They need to learn how to synchronize the demands of work, home-care, and supervision of children (Benson, 1993).

They need to enforce limits, rules, and boundaries consistently, and to transmit responsibility and values, in order to raise responsible, self-controlled, and healthy children (Cloud, and Townsend, 1998). They need to find ways to improve and maintain their self-esteem. Many single parents learn to live on reduced incomes, find acceptable ways to deal with non-custodial parent, and redefine their relationships with their children. These are but a few of the challenges facing single parents (Benson, 1993). Raising healthy children has more to do with the emotional well being of its members then on family composition (Heath, 1999).

So then, how do single parents foster emotional well being amongst its members, while maintaining a full schedule of work, education, day care, deadlines, finances? It may be difficult and exhausting at times, but it is possible, and the rewards are many (Heath, 1999, p. 429). According to Heath, some of the areas affecting positive outcomes are family stability, self-esteem, and positive parenting (p 429). Our job as parents is to transmit values and the tools necessary for our children to be healthy adults being able to function in the world responsibly and with self-control (Cloud, and Townsend, 1998). Family Stability Children need to feel safe. They shouldn't have to worry about their needs being met.

They need structure and routine in order to feel safe and know what to expect. Family conflicts need to be resolved in productive ways. Home should be a balance of function, security, and serenity. Family stability is fostered through family values and family traditions. Church communities, extended family members, community resources, and other families are good sources of social contexts providing values and tradition (Cloud, and Townsend, 1998).

Self-esteem Self-esteem starts developing at birth when an infant attaches to its mother. This attachment needs to continue and change throughout the child's life (Craig, 2002, pp. 214-215). Children need to feel valued and loved for being who they are. Children need to know they are important. Children need to start developing intra-awareness, and a conscience. Ways to help this include 1) Modeling self-esteem.

2). Spending time with your children and giving them attention. 3) Being a good role model 4) And being consistent in your parenting practices. Positive Parenting / Discipline The qualities of positive parenting I noticed throughout my reading of various books and articles were: 1). To make expectations clear. 2).

To make consequences clear. 3) To be fair and appropriate. 4). To reinforce positive behavior.

4). And to be consistent. Although these practices were similar, the authors used different language and strategies. I will review a few of the framework of particular parenting programs and give information on obtaining and analyzing specific parenting programs.

The Art of Discipline (DeFrancis, 1994) has a wonderful concise article on the World Wide Web. She suggests that parent's tailor their discipline approaches by keeping in mind the child's age and temperament. She reinforces because no two children are the same, what works for one child, may not for another, I will highlight the points of her article. Communication: Positive techniques of communicating with children are speaking with a soft tone, reaching compromises, offering choices, and reasoning.

Consequences: A way of decreasing inappropriate behavior or increasing appropriate behavior. Speaking in a calm state to a child if you continue this the consequences will be... Developmental Techniques: Keep in mind your child development stage and behavior changes and apply appropriate strategies. Distraction: Taking attention away from an inappropriate activity and direct to an appropriate activity.

Extinction: A technique used primarily for annoying behavior in which the parent systematically ignores the behavior. Holding Time: Holding a child firmly, until the emotions are discharged. Parents do this firmly but lovingly until the child feels better. Modeling Behavior: Showing the child the behavior you want them to learn. Rewards: Positive reinforcement can be effective, but don't have to be material, and shouldn't be edible. Sometimes a job well done is rewarding enough.

Structure the Environment: Avoid frustration by childproofing the environment, and allow children to explore freely. Time-Out: The child is isolated for a specified amount of time by going to a chair, their room, or another place. Withholding Privileges: This is most often used with school age children and works best when the privilege withheld is related to the behavior. Another article ("Parenting 101", 2002) describes several types of parenting programs, with the goal being for children to develop self-discipline. I will discuss 1). The "3 F's" of Effective Parenting.

2). The First Time Club. 3). And The Family Chip System. The "3 Fs" of Effective Parenting Firm: Parents need to be consistent and follows through with consequences that have been clearly stated. Fair: The consequences should fit the behavior.

Friendly: Be friendly yet firm. Discuss the behavior and the agreed upon consequence. Remind them of ways they could behave to avoid consequences and try to "catch them being good" and praise them for good behavior. The First Time Club This is a behavior modification program that rewards a child when he responds the first time he is asked.

You elicit the child's membership in The First Time Club. The program begins by making a chart with thirty squares. Each time the child follows through the first time a happy face is put in the square. When all the squares are filled he will receive a pre-agreed upon reward. Be supportive throughout the desired behavior change. By the time the card is filled your child will have developed a new behavior.

The Family Chip System The "Family Chip System" can be a powerful tool in changing disruptive or difficult behavior. It provides immediate reward for positive behavior and immediate consequences for negative behavior. When used consistently dramatic results can be obtained in a short time. The steps to the program are: 1) Purchase a box of poker chips.

2) Discuss the program with the child in a family meeting, and how it will be used to get the child to be in charge of themselves. 3) Develop a list of behaviors that will be rewarded with chips and post. Items can anything like self care skills, a positive attitude, doing homework, getting up on time etc. 4) Agree upon a list of behaviors that will result in a loss of chips and post. This can be behaviors that are disruptive, or oppositional like screaming, not cleaning up, putting others down etc. 5) Develop a list of privileges that can be earned with the chips and post.

The privileges can be daily items like playing outside, watching T.V., or bigger activities like going to a movie. 6) Assign point values to each item on the list. 7) Keep in mind of other items you can reward the child with. The list can be added to and modified but everyone must understand any changes. An example of some assigned values are as follows: Earn Chips For Lose Chips For Spend Chips For Doing what's asked = 2 Arguing = 2 Watching 1/2 hr. T.V. = 3 Brushing teeth = 2 Lying = 4 Playing outside = 4 Picking up toys = 2 Interrupting = 1 Playing game w / parent = 4 A good attitude = 1 Not doing what's asked = 2 Going to a movie = 25 Another article (De " at, 2000) outlined by community based parent education programs are discussed. The author accesses particular parenting programs looking for evidence based programs that provide positive outcomes in high-risk families.

As a parent, another reference rich in resources is "Boundaries with Children", (Cloud, and Townsend, 1998). The book draws upon the principles of the Bible, to prepare kids to assume responsibility for their lives. It is an in-depth guide to recognize boundary issues, to set boundaries and establish consequences, to get out of the "nagging" trap, to help your child gain self-control, and guides parents through practical steps of implementing boundaries with kids. A workbook is also available to supplement the book. Parenting education classes are offered in most communities for free or a low cost. They are available at Family Resource Centers, Community Colleges, Elementary Schools, and counseling centers.

Rearing healthy children as a single parent is tough work: It is obtainable though. Through special effort, the development of family systems were member feel a sense of well being and through positive parenting practices, single parent families can have strong families in which children can thrive.

Bibliography

Bensen, P.L., & Roehlkepartain, E. (1993).
Single Parent Families. MN: Search Institute. Cloud, H., & Townsend, J. (1998).
Boundaries with kids. Michigan: Zondervan Publishing House. Craig, C.J., & Bau cum, D. (2002).
Human development. New Jersey: Prentice Hall. De " at, E. (2000, Sept.
Parenting matters-what works in parent education. The British Journal of Educational Psychology, 70 (3), 462-463. DeFrancis, B. (1994).
The Art of Discipline. Never hit a child. Retrieved June 9, 2002 from the World Wide Web: web T.
1999, July).
Single mothers, single fathers. Journal of Family Issues, 20 (4), 429-430. Kleist, D.M. (1999, Oct.
Single-parent families: A difference that makes a difference? Family Journal, 7 (4), 373-378. Parenting 101. (2002).
Child Parenting. Retrieved June 7, 2002 from About.