Losing my virginity. Getting my driver's license. Taking my first shot of vodka. None of these even comes close to comparing with the feeling that ran through my frame as I read through my first MAXIM. To a blind man, it would just be paper without any Braille on it. But to me, it was paper with hot bitches and words on it.

I could almost feel the two-dimensional sex radiating off it as I thumbed through the articles: "How to get Any Woman You Want" and "Three Girls in Bed at the Same Time". I quiver even now just thinking about it. Never before had I read articles so creative and witty - especially not with such hot girls accompanying them. "Holy shit! That girl is hot!" I remember saying to myself, referring to seeing its brilliant bright red cover with Rose McGowan on it. The $4.95 I had to drop down for it was meaningless matched up to the feeling it gave me when I read "MAXIM's Guide to a One Night Stand" or "50 Things About Drinking Beer that You Didn't Learn in High School", and after that, I took my new baby home, and didn't put her down for almost a week.

No one could separate us. People say that you know you are in love with a person when you fall in love with them all over again every time you kiss. Well, I fall in love with my MAXIM all over again every time I spread her sweet pages open and dip my face into the spread for hours at a time.