June's Mother example essay topic

-The Sisters of Misunderstanding- Parents always want what is best for their children, regardless of culture or ethnicity. In The Joy Luck Club, by Amy Tan, and in "Life With Father" by Itabari N jeri, the parents express their parental methods upon their daughters. Children will all react differently to their parent's methods, as do Waverly, June, and Itabari, but they still share a common resentment for their parents. It is shown in the two stories how parental methods expressed to children can be misinterpreted, thus influencing the child's behavior. June's mother wants her to become a successful piano player.

The problem with this is that June possesses no talent or determination to do so, so she doesn't practice. Her mother cleans an old deaf piano teacher's apartment in exchange for June to be taught piano, but the teacher can't correct June when she makes a mistake, because he cant hear. June's mother encouraged her to practice and would always brag about how good she was to everyone. June's mother enjoyed having pride in her daughter, as she thought her daughter was a representation of how successful she was herself. June did not appreciate this at all.

After making a fool of herself at the talent show she vowed to never play piano again. Her mother's wishes for her success were mistaken for her mother's selfishness. June thought her mother was only pushing her to find something in her daughter that was not in herself. Waverly was the same as June, in that her mother also wanted her to become great at something. Waverly's mother saw her being a child prodigy of chess. Once she saw that Waverly was good at it, she encouraged her to play.

Waverly enjoyed chess and took it upon herself to get good at chess. June could possibly have been successful with the piano, but she would not embrace her mother's hopes to that degree. It seemed that Waverly had an ability inherited from her mother to conceal feelings and strategies, much like what is needed to win a chess match. Waverly got along better with her mother than June did, but June's mother pushed her in a direction she didn't want to go in, rather than taking credit for success. Both actions were misconceived however.

Waverly has the ability to humiliate June, as she did at the New Year's dinner. Those with self-confidence such as Waverly easily insult June. Waverly's mother has taught her to be proud of her abilities, while June's mother has not shown her to be proud, but more "content". Waverly is noted by June's mother as being a crab, moving only sideways, trying to keep others from passing her. June is more of the type to surpass Waverly's meager insults, making her the better person. Waverly is like this because she cares so much about other people criticisms of her, strongest of all being her mothers.

She runs her life based upon what she thinks her mother feels about things. These children act the way they do, insulting and accepting, based upon their parent's means of conveying what is important. By being forceful, Suyaan has made June more passive, while Waverly has become more aggressive as she likely has more contempt within her. Suyaan and Lindo have harbored pride as a very important factor within their daughters. Waverly refuses to play piano when her mother keeps bragging to everyone that her daughter is good at it, as she wants to have pride in herself.

Suyaan is only trying to bring out a talent in June, for June's own sake. June cannot see it this way, and speaks up for herself when she fails at her first piano performance. Both daughters try to hold they "abilities" over their mother's head's in order to get their own wishes. But this doesn't work for either of them, as their mothers are only trying to help them better themselves, while also at the same time make themselves look good at parents. Mothers constantly compare Waverly and June. Waverly's mom complains to June's mom that she cant get her to do anything else besides chess, because she is so good at it she is obsessed.

June's mom counters this bragging by saying that June doesn't even hear her when she asks her to do something, because all she can hear is music. In Itabari's case, her father suppressed her unintentionally. "Daddy was a philosopher, a Marxist historian, an exceptional teacher, and a fine tenor" (68) but his own agenda was interpreted by Itabari to be selfish. Her father wanted only what's best for his daughter, and he had to make a living for himself for that to happen. Once again, the daughter did not see the parent's intentions.

With Itabari's father's good intentions also came the frustration he felt being a black man in the 60's. He was notably experiencing the "classic schizophrenia of being black and an American, the contradiction of internalizing whole the cultural values of a society that see [him] as life in its lower forms" (72). This stress got to him sometimes, for instance when he was at the parade with his family, he "hauled off and punched [his wife] in the mouth" (69). This greatly affected Itabari's perception of him, since it made him seem as he was a bad person beating his wife and yelling at his children, when really he was just trying to get by and obtain what is best for his family. She realizes this when she is older, and as she looks back she notes, "I know my father's fury was fueled by his sense of insignificance" (71). Itabari grew up a very quiet and depressed girl, described as being a "very strange child" (70) by her father.

She never talked very much to her father because she was always taught that children should be seen but not heard. This was meant to teach respect, a valuable quality, but she, the child, interpreted it to mean that her conversation was not worthy enough to be spoken, as if she was insignificant. June and Waverly are similar because their parents had the same methods of parenting, and Itabari relates to them, because her feelings where suppressed by the parent as well. A mother will teach her daughter in different ways that a father would, which sets Itabari apart.

The Chinese culture also puts more importance in the elders, and reverence, which makes the JLC daughters care more about what their mothers say, but Itabari still yearns to be loved by her father, and for him to show it. The daughters deal with their individual scenarios in different ways, but the parent's methods for showing love and hope was mistaken in a negative sense in each case. June, Waverly, and Itabari's parent's influences upon each of them has shaped their personalities and ideals from how they behave and the culture they engage in all the way to how they act to each other. In the end, there is no fault or blame to be pointed out, as we all learn as we grow.

Wisdom can be passed from the parent to the child, as well as vice versa, but it often not always understood or seen clearly.