Laura Leaves Rob example essay topic

High Fidelity Rob, the main character in the movie High Fidelity, is experiencing a mid life crisis in his mid 30's. He is beginning to question whether or not his current job is right for him and if t is as fulfilling as he wants it to be; he also begins to question his past relationship and evaluate what went wrong with them. This mid life crisis is onset by his stable live in girlfriend leaving him because of many things but it was mainly triggered by feelings of distance between them and the lack of commitment. After she leaves he realizes that she might have been the one after he evaluated his past "Top 5 Breakups". Although it takes Laura, his girlfriend, leaving for him to really think about commitment and to reevaluate what he is doing with his life it is probably the best thing that happened to him. The state of Rob's intimate relationship with Laura before the break up was still in the self-focused stage, at least on Rob's behalf.

He is not very mature for his age and seems to be comfortable with the way things were and wasn't looking for anything to change. A prime example of this is the fact that Rob hired Barry and Dick is two friends when the store opened and can not fire them because even though they are not the best workers he is afraid of change. Rob is a neurotic, self-absorbed, and obsesses over his dreary romantic history. According to Erikson one has to truly know themselves in order to fully relate and connect to another and since Rob doesn't seem to know himself at all before the breakup it would make sense for Laura and their relationship to not work out. Rob at this point in his life is reflecting upon who his is and realizing that he wants more, he wants more than just working at the record store, although he does feel passionate about the store that specializes only in vinyl it isn't making him very much money and he begins to feel as though he wants more out of life.

Although Laura walked out on him she does love him and Rob finally realizes after she leaves that he doesn't want anymore meaningless relationships; he only wants Laura. After Laura leaves Rob seems to have an awakening and begins to mature in his understanding of what it takes to have a good stable relationship. He begins to mature from not wanting commitment to realizing that Laura is the one that he wants to be with and he wants to fully commit to her and her only. He partially comes to this realization through his own form of therapy by trying to see as many as his ex-girlfriends as he can, however it is not fully successful as he had hoped. Rob starts to become aware of where he is in life and where he wants to be and he begins to understand who he truly is. He also grasps what Laura wants and what he has to do in order to be with her.

The connection between Rob's identity status and his capacity for intimacy is that since he doesn't truly know himself and is not that mature he is basically incapable of having an intimate relationship. However Rob tells Laura that he only wants her and the he wants to marry her, he finally realizes that he gets nothing out of the many past relationships and they are meaningless compared to his relationship with Laura. Since Rob has begun to understand who he is and what it takes to have an intimate and fully committed relationship he has began to mature towards a more role-focused relationship with Laura. He is realizing what she wants and what they need to do in order to make it work. They have begun to take on the roles of spouse and partner in life. While this is going on Rob begins making a C.D. with some kids that had earlier broken in to his store.

He feels even more passionate about making music then about his store and Laura sets up a gig for him to DJ again and to premiere his new single. Music has played a major role through out the entire film. It is used as a metaphor to connect and portray certain things, people and relationships. Rob is slightly obsessed with making mixed tapes for people; he goes in to detail about the great time and skill that it takes to make one. He uses these mixed tapes to try and represent a person, to tell a story, express emotions or a form of mentoring. For Rob producing a C.D. he feels as though he is giving back to the music world, giving his own two cents and most importantly leaving a mark on pop culture.

He essentially becomes part of the music instead of just a listener. Through the actions and words of Laura, Rob reconnects with what used to give him great pleasure, being a DJ. Through this he also learns to reconnect with others by having a new appreciation for other musical tastes and realizing that peoples musical tastes do not define who they are. This film taught me many things in regards to how to develop stable intimate relationships with a partner. It taught me the significance of learning from past relationships, not only about how to maintain a relationship but about you. From looking at past relationships one can truly see who they are and who they want to become.

Also I gained the knowledge that you don't have to have a significant amount of similarities between you and your partner for it to work out. It is ok to have differences as long as you embrace those differences and learn from your partner. Happiness in a relationship comes from learning with your partner about who you both are and what you both stand for in life. Also by spending quality time growing with you partner that too makes a stable relationship to thrive off of. There was also an importance of having a deep connectedness with your partner but at the same time maintaining you own personal identity.

However the most important thing that I gained from this movie is the value of complete and utter trust in a relationship. If your relationship doesn't posses this then you really don't have anything, you have nothing to base everything else in your relationship off of.