Male Culture And Female Culture example essay topic

834 words
Did you know, "men and women talk differently because they are raised in something like two different cultures: a male culture from which young men learn to speak like men and a female culture in which young women learn to speak like women?" (Cooper and MacDonald 9). Well, not actually from two separate cultures, but the idea of men and women being opposites as pointed out in the opening. Deborah Tannen has made her theory that a male culture and female culture each exist, very popular with the human population and has written an extensive book on her theory. To define these communication conundrums, Tannen discusses "rapport-talk" and "report-talk". She defines "rapport-talk" as "For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships" (Cooper and MacDonald 10). Rapport-talk has its strong points focused on showing similarities and matching experiences.

Women choose private speaking as the best places for communication. They like small settings and small groups of people that they know well. Tannen uses "report-talk" to explain how men communicate. "Report-talk" is "For most men, talk is primarily a means to preserve independence and negotiate and maintain status in a hierarchical social order" (Cooper and MacDonald 10). Men choose to communicate in public settings, they like to hold center stage by talking as much as possible and to be recognized and acknowledged as having a place in the social order. But as Tannen states, "even the most private situations can be approached like public speaking, more like giving a report than establishing a rapport" (Cooper and MacDonald 10).

The typical stereotypes of communication are that women talk more than men, that is not necessarily true. For example, Tannen states, .".. another explanation is that men think women talk to much because they hear women talking in situations where men would not: on the telephone; or in social situations with friends, when they are not discussing topics that men find inherently interesting, or; like the couple at the women's group, at home alone-in other words, in private speaking" (Cooper and MacDonald 11). Men and women have two different conversational styles, different ways of talking. They also have different ideas of what is important and what is not. For example, Tannen points out that the man thought it wasn't important that his friend was getting married, but the woman had thought that it was important (Cooper and MacDonald 12). In Tannen's book, You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, she begins with the basis of her general idea: "Many years ago I was married to a man who shouted at me, 'I do not give you the right to raise your voice to me, because you are a woman and I am a man.

This was frustrating, because I knew it was unfair. But I also knew just what was going on. I ascribed his unfairness to his having grown up in a country where few people thought women and men might have equal rights" (You Just... ). This personal experience of hers seems to have jump-started her ideas about different cultural and conversational styles of men and women. She had witnessed it herself and believed that all relationships have this same sort of problem: men trying to be dominant and women just listening.

Deborah Tannen strongly believes that, "home is a place to be offstage" (Cooper and MacDonald 16). But as she claims, the home can have different and unmatchable definitions for both males and females. For numerous males, the ease of home means liberty from having to establish themselves and show off through communication. For females, home is a spot where they are able to speak, and where they feel the maximum need for communication with those they are next to (You Just...

). In conclusion, Tannen truly believes that men and women talk differently because they are raised in something like two different cultures: A male culture from which young men learn to speak like men; and, a female culture in which young women learn to speak like women. Her idea has flourished with her own experiences, personal knowledge, and through witnessing it with others. Tannen is a linguistics professor who has done much research on the topic.

She has written an elaborate book on her theory that has proved itself with the human population. works cited Cooper, Charles R., and Susan Peck MacDonald. Writing the World: Reading and Writing about Issues of the Day. Boston: Bedford / St. Martin's, 2000. Rosen, Leonard J., and Laurence Behrens. The Allyn & Bacon Handbook.

Boston: Allyn & Bacon, 2000. You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. 2001 Harper Collins Publications. 09 February 2002 web xml. asp? isbn = 0060959622 .