Mother To Her Daughter And Emily example essay topic

Mary Hood's "How Far She Went" and Tillie Olsen's "I Stand Here Ironing" capture the trauma of an unstable childhood. Hood writes of a painful past that controls how a grandmother and girl (her granddaughter) react to each other. Both are in pain and deal with it differently. Olsen writes of a struggling young post-depression mother who is unable to be a complete mother to her daughter Emily. The relationship between the mother figures and the daughter figures is not so different. They share the same pain but they deal with it differently.

This pain originates from the love that they have experienced and been hurt by before. Girl and Emily have both been abandoned in one way or another and they have put a certain distance between themselves and their mother figures. The grandmother and the mother come from different angles but are connected on that they knew how to do for their daughter / granddaughter. In both stories, the young girls were abandoned. The girl in Mary Hood's story was abandoned by her distant father.

"Your Daddy wants you to cash in that plane ticket and buy you some school clothes, for here" (544). The girl had already been sent away to her grandmother's for the summer with her "ready suitcases, never unpacked" (544). Girl was expecting to go home but she did not. She is described as being trapped by not only her surroundings but also her current situation.

Naturally she is angry about all of this and says and does hurtful things to her grandmother. The grandmother has her guard up. It is obvious that she cares about her at some level because not only has she taken her granddaughter in but she keeps and ever watchful eye upon her. The girl's mother has died in some way and apparently she did not have a smooth relationship with her because now the grandmother guards herself. She does not let herself become too vulnerable to the girl's tirades and overly dramatic outbursts. They are both dealing with the hurt and abandonment of someone they love.

They both were abandoned by the girl's mother when she died and the father does not want anything to do with it. So, it seems that all they have is each other. Now in Olsen's story, Emily had been sent away to her father's family on several occasions because her mother could not take care of her. "I took a long time to raise the money for her fare back" (434).

When Emily did come back "I hardly knew her... all the baby loveliness gone" (434). Now, Emily's mother had been a young post depression mother that had eventually been abandoned by Emily's father and through time she remarried. Through the story, the mother's growth is seen by the different ways that she treats her children. For example, Emily's sister Susan was "everything in appearance and manner that Emily was not" (437). Susan had been nurtured as a child.

Her mother ran every time that she even stirred. However, it seemed that every time that Emily needed her mother, she would be sent away. Either her mother could take proper care of her or her energy was spent on something else. She even went as far as to send her daughter to a sanitarium because she " wasn't eating" (436).

Although it may not seem like the very best thing to do now, it was the only thing that her mother knew to do then. She did the very best that she knew to do. Sometimes this abandonment was mixed with a desire to nurture. As the mother got older, remarried, and wiser, she was able to put all of her energy into being the very best mother that she could.

She had more children at this point and she wanted to embrace Emily. The relationship that they have very ironic in that they never seem to be in the same place. At first, Emily wanted her mother to smother her with affection and love and her mother is too exhausted to do so. It eventually gets to a point that the mother wants to, for lack of a better term, 'be a mother' to her daughter and Emily wants no part of it.

The trauma of the abandonment and instability that the girl and Emily share is met with hope. The grandmother eventually proves to the girl that she would not leave her, even if she had to sacrifice everything. "It was either him or you" (Hood, 548). The grandmother killed her only companion, a dog, to protect her unappreciative granddaughter. This point in the story serves as a major transition for their relationship. The girl comes to realize that her grandmother loves her in a way that she has probably never known before.

She begins to feel safe and take notice of the person that she now knows will never leave her. "The girl walked close behind her... matching her pace... close enough to put her hand forth (if the need arose) " (548-549). The girl actually shows concern for her grandmother's well being. The love that was once one sided is now mutual.

The mother in Olsen's story says, "Let her be... only let her know... that she is more... ". (438). The mother and Emily realized that only Emily could help herself.

The mother has no power to help her daughter in the same manner that she used to any more. It is too late for that now because she has gotten to a place in her life where she is almost an adult and her mother has to find a new relationship with her daughter. Basically, they are in transition right now. The hope for their relationship lay in the acceptance of what things used to be and what they were going to be in the future. The way Emily's transition into adulthood is handled is crucial for the future relationships that she has not only with her mother but with other people.

At the end of the story, her mother says to leave her alone and to let her make her own mistakes. Their past relationship, such as it was, formed who Emily is and has brought her to the point where she is not a very open person. She tended to hold everything in and her release was getting onstage and having people. ".. unwilling to let this rare and precious laughter out of their lives... ". (438). Even her mother did not recognize her.

The pain that traumatizes the central relationships in Mary Hood's "How Far She Went" and Tillie Olsen's "I Stand Here Ironing" is similar through the painful abandonment and renewed hope evident in each situation. The sense of abandonment and hope in each story is very similar but the way that it is dealt with is very different. Hood's characters learned that it was safe to love again and embraced each other while Olsen's characters are at a point know where their relationship must take on a new phase. Hood's and Olsen's characters can forgive the past, understand each other, and move forward together.