My Very Door example essay topic

Ok first let me straighten things out. I will pause... ok... I have to get things clear in my head. There are just too many things and I get sad... But no I will surely organize things now.

Let's see... I will start from the beginning. My name is Ben Kingsley. Haha no it's not. For now it is though. I am a person, a boy, and I want to live vicariously through... myself... through some sort of passion.

No no I'm not a sappy whiny person. I am quite capable of thinking clearly. I won't apologize anymore. There are things I want to tell you so right now I must figure out where to start. You can sit down if you like. Just throw that stuff off the chair.

That's damn comfy actually. It is very old yes but well all the furniture in here I like to think of as very comfortable feeling. That's important to me. Do you know what I mean? Not comfortable to sit on, but comfortable feeling. Anyways yes I am Donnie Bras co, so to speak, heh what a funny name, and I have lived here for a while.

Doesn't matter how long really. A long enough time. Time stretches very hard for me sometimes. Sometimes I don't make sense. I've looked out the window for so many hours. I don't even remember what day it is or where I am at times.

I am alone for most of the time, well I lie, it's all of the time. Some would think it would get to me, start to rot my brain, {points finger to head}, that may be partially so but I assure you there is something more. Are you comfortable? Let me dim the lights. Close the drapes. No keep them open.

Yes that's better. That's very sweet tea in front of you. I won't be insulted if you don't drink any. But I think you should.

Ok as I was saying. I am alone a lot and some would think it has impaired my judgment. I don't care really. That's part of it all actually. But that's jumping ahead. Yes so my typical day starts with a very slow rise out of bed.

Normally I awake from a very odd dream and feel as if something very profound has occurred to me which will change everything but I quickly forget it. I go to the bathroom, look in the mirror for a little while, and brush my teeth. Sometimes I am very wacky when I first wake up and I will make faces or contort my arms around pantomiming something while grunting or some other noise. Other times I'm very dull and I just stare.

I look at myself for a long time thinking that something is going to move or happen. Maybe my face will disappear or my features will rearrange themselves. I hope for it. Disappointed, I continue with my ritual of brushing my teeth. Soon after is breakfast. Sometimes I'm afraid to go downstairs.

I get scared easily. I'm afraid someone or something is downstairs. But I do go downstairs anyway without too much hesitation so perhaps secretly I want to encounter something... After breakfast... well that's simple. I stare out the window up here.

For very long stretches of time. This is the bulk of my ad and also the important part of my explanation. Well is it an explanation? Am I explaining something to you?

Is this a candid confession of something? Or maybe I'm babbling. I speak too many words already knowing the answer. During these long stretches... or spells... I like that word better, I'll use that. During these long spells it seems so much can happen in so little time.

My mind will race and ponder the where, what, when and how of everything, leading me to more questions, mostly questions about myself, questions about why am I alone, and sometimes I will have the answer at once. I will be beaming and have visions of the sort of happiness that fills me, wanting nothing more from the world. Suddenly everything makes perfect sense and all previous thoughts were just silly! These are the good times. This can quickly transform into a long descent into sadness. Nothing seems to have an answer, I will surely be alone forever, and all thoughts before this will seem silly!

Both can be very convincing. There have been times when it is all too much and I will curl into a ball wishing to be a child again. Mostly I dream of things, which are very far away and can calm me, soothe me, and take me away. I want something that is real, nullifying all that is useless and ugly, the world around me suddenly brighter. Oh gibberish this probably is to you. And you have finished your tea.

It was very sweet yes? Feel free to lay down or put your feet up, be comfortable. Johnnie walker orders you. I have such a funny name. Ok so here is the meat and potatoes of all this. The u. .. main event, whatever you want to call it.

Do be prepared for this one is quite a doozy! I'm being silly again. But please remain, you are comfortable? I see by the look on your face that I should stop asking that. So it is. It was a normal day, not a dark and stormy night with peculiar sounds going bump in the night, although that has a nice ring to it.

I was gazing as usual outside of this square window... Have you seen my view? Surely you have stolen a glance or two, no need to get up, stay. The view is very picturesque.

Nothing but green plains and hills, a few apple trees, very few animals, which seems very unnatural to me, this is all stretches as far as I can see. One of the benefits of the country. As I said before it seems unnatural to me that more animals are not roaming nearby. I'm quite sure of the farms nearby although I never see any of the owners, or anyone for that matter. I don't know much of anything that goes on around here to be truthful. I lost touch with that a long time ago.

So when I gaze out of this window its all very still... like a picture {points to window} so when an animal does wander into the picture, its almost like an intrusion. 'What is that!' I will commonly think to myself stupidly. One day, as I was gazing, a figure, a person, not an animal... I wonder now if I should tell you this... well I have come this far.

Of course I will tell you... I have to now. At first I didn't realize the figure wasn't an animal but actually a person. I honestly didn't remember the last person I had seen! I sat upright very abruptly, nearly falling over. I focused my eyes as if my eyes were binoculars that needed to be adjusted.

Yes that was a person. It was a girl! Probably too old to be called a girl but I think the word 'girl' is much prettier than 'woman'. I babble!

I'm getting too excited. But no that is good. Johnny seed to the rescue... that's me. Nice name yes? The girl was probably around my age, and no I will not tell you my age. Let's say I can buy you a drink in a pub that's good enough.

She was dressed very simply. Some would call it plain, but she seemed to manage style and dignity despite the lack of flashy attire. As for the exact colors of her clothing I'm not sure. And I'm not very familiar with names of clothing but I am sure she had a dress on. It went to down to her ankles and was a dark color. Her top was of a lighter shade, it seemed to be a shirt or sweater but her arms were not covered.

Something furry was worn tightly around her neck like a necklace, and her hair, which was dark and curly, dangled a bit past that. She walked very carefully. It was absurd actually. Normal people don't walk that way!

But how would I know I suppose. She walked very slowly with almost imperceptible steps. Were her legs even leaving the ground? She was close enough for me to see the side of her face, perhaps 20 yards. The angle was weird however, I'm about two stories up. Nonsense nonsense details blah blah... yes... it was absurd, the whole scene in front of me.

Surely she saw this house but she did not look up at me. If she did I would have been plainly seen since it was a bright day. I called to her. This startled me.

But it was funny. I just laughed stupidly, it was all I could do. The sound of my voice was unusual! I called again. And then again I yelled "you!" . She did not answer.

I felt a bit angered. She must have been ignoring me. I called louder and more frequently. She stopped walking, now directly in the center of my view. I didn't notice she stopped at first, her movements were so slow. Her posture was bad, I could see that.

I found that charming. I saw only her profile as she remained facing her path. I assumed this would remain forever, I really did. Just another part of the picture. She would never move. I almost began to lose excitement.

I could sense my descent into sadness coming back. Her face turned! Her head now faced me, and her eyes met mine. It was very unsettling. I was very aware at that point that all her movements were intentional.

Her face was stern. Her features were much harsher than I imagined, surely this was a different girl? Her eyebrows were thick and dark, the most striking feature I could see. I wanted to turn away. I felt as if she saw through me, had watched me all along, and was now taunting me. What were her intentions?

I couldn't possibly turn away. She wouldn't like that. How could I know that? Her mouth opened in the shape of an O and her forehead crinkled.

She was screaming something but no sound! She was definitely within earshot. Her eyes began to squint as she was apparently trying to scream louder. Now her whole body faced me. She was slightly arched forward, breathing in deep before each scream to prepare for its force, but no sound!

I heard a sound downstairs. A quick loud thud on the front door. I looked to the doorway of my room, remembering then that my door was always closed. I looked back outside the window quickly, but she was gone.

I began to shake. I pulled the string and let the drapes fall down as I rose quickly to my feet. I went under my covers, yes that's what I did, a grown man... boy... grown enough, I went under my covers and I stood there absolutely terrified. I strained very hard to hear any sound in the house.

I heard more quick abrupt thuds in my kitchen downstairs. I wanted to cry, to run, to jump out of the window, to be anywhere but here. I was pleading in my mind with unknown higher forces to just make this go away, I would do anything! I then thought of the days before this, and they seemed like fond memories.

Not so torturous at all! Everything was silent for a long time. I started to hope she was gone, I even believed it, but soon after heard footsteps coming up the stairs to my bedroom. How strange! No sounds at all and then footsteps coming up the stairs!

She was nearing the top, I assumed it was her, and I could barely swallow. I had a dry metallic taste in my mouth. I curled up tightly into a ball as if this provided more shielding. She was at the top of the stairs now. My room is about 10 paces from the top of the stairs but I heard no further movement. Just the damned quiet!

I wanted to scream in anger, even if I was heard. I heard something after this. It made me numb and utterly stupid. I could hear her straining to scream, the air heaving out of her lungs, with no success. She was right outside my room!

She tried harder and harder, finally her voice seemed to crack for a second and I got a very brief glimpse of her voice, which was very high pitched. How young she sounded! I wanted to run to the door and swing it open and shove her down the stairs. But I knew I didn't have the courage. I felt like a child.

She stopped. I heard nothing. A very long time passed. After a lot of deliberation I hesitantly removed the covers on the op of me and rose from my bed. Still no sound. I placed my feet on the ground and I thanked god almighty for my carpeted floor.

I would make little noise walking. Still no sound from her. I crept ever so slowly to the door. Scared out of my mind, I waited for her to shove the door open at any second. Nothing! Nothing!

Goddamn it!! I still heard nothing. I had to hold my breath, I was shivering. I placed my ear to the door.

There was nothing to hear. I wasn't quick to be hopeful again. I had no idea what I intended to do by walking to the door. I had no courage!

More time passed and I heard no sounds. Eventually I gave up and returned to bed. I heard other sounds, but they came from downstairs. So yes I tell you that since then I have not left this room! I am not satisfied with my telling of this to you, I don't feel at all better, you should leave now. Don't act offended it isn't becoming of you.

I still hear sounds, do you understand?! Sometimes downstairs, sometimes outside my very door. I have not ventured out of here! nor have I looked out the window. Once I awoke, lying under the covers, and I felt her weight on my legs!

I scrambled and quickly threw the covers off only to catch a glimpse of her running out of the room. So yes you will leave now. Oh yes what is the moral of this? I will tell you. Such an extreme event as this could only make all other problems seem trifling.

And that's exactly what it did. It's as if reality was snapped back into place right before me. No more questions and doubts, it is all very clear now. It took absolute terror to rouse this out of me. I am alive!

Of that I am sure. Now you will leave! You smirk as if I am crazy. Is she an illusion created by me? Does it matter?

She haunts me. I have no peace. Have you heard any noises since your visit? Nevermind, I don't care to know. I feel mocked by your presence. You can find the door, good day!

{He exits} He didn't finish his tea.