Narcissist's Idealization Of The Therapist example essay topic

The purpose of this research is to educate everyone about the personality disorder known as narcissism. Through facts and expert opinions, I plan to discuss characteristics of people with narcissism, the many different types of narcissistic disorders, and the many different ways the mental disorder can be treated. Narcissistic personality disorder is a complex and often misunderstood disorder. The main feature of the narcissistic personality is the exaggerated sense of self-importance, but underneath this front, the narcissist suffers from a chronically fragile low self-esteem. The ways of the narcissist are so strange that they tend to be dehumanized by society. The narcissist conjures in us images of the mythological character, Narcissus, who could only love himself, spiting anyone who attempted to touch him.

Nevertheless, it is the underlying sense of inferiority which is the real problem of the narcissist. They want to give the impression that they are powerful, well-respected individuals. (World Book Encyclopedia, 1990) The narcissist's behavior is designed to reaffirm his sense of adequacy. Since the narcissist is incapable of asserting his own sense of adequacy, the narcissist seeks to be admired by others. However, the narcissist's extremely fragile sense of self-worth does not allow him to risk any criticism. Therefore, meaningful emotional interactions with others are avoided.

By simultaneously seeking the admiration of others and keeping them at a distance, the narcissist is usually able to maintain the illusion of importance no matter how people respond. Thus, when people praise the narcissist, his feeling of being a very important person will increase, but when criticized the feeling will usually remain unaffected because the narcissist will devalue whoever is doing the criticizing. There are three areas of pathological functioning which characterize the narcissist. In particular, four of these narcissistic character traits best illustrate the pattern discussed above. The first trait is that a narcissistic individual has a basic sense of inferiority, which underlies a preoccupation with fantasies of outstanding achievement. Second, a narcissistic individual is unable to trust and rely on others and thus develops numerous, shallow relationships to extract tributes from others.

Third, a narcissistic individual has a shifting morality which is always ready to shift values to gain favor. The narcissist who enters therapy does not think that there is something wrong with him. Typically, the narcissist seeks therapy because he is unable to maintain the sense of self-importance which protects him from the feelings of despair. The narcissist views his situation arising not as a result of a personal fault, rather it is some factor in the environment which is beyond the narcissist's control which has caused his present situation.

Therefore, the narcissist expects the therapist not to cure him from a problem which he does not perceive to exist, rather the narcissist expects the therapist to restore the protective feeling of self-importance. It is therefore essential for the therapist to be alert to the narcissists attempts to steer therapy towards healing the injured arrogant part, rather than exploring the underlying feelings of inferiority and despair. According to studies by well known psychologists, a crisis could lead to the development of a narcissistic personality. The individual who is unable to successfully master the challenges of this stage will sustain a narcissistic injury. In essence the narcissistic injury will occur whenever the environment needs the individual to be something which he is not. The narcissistic injury devastates the individual's emerging self.

Unable to be what he truly is the narcissistically injured person adapts by splitting his personality into the nuclear (real) self and the false self. The real self becomes fragmented and repressed, whereas the false self takes over the individual. The narcissist thus learns to reject himself by hiding what has been rejected by others. Subsequently, the narcissist will attempt to compensate for his deficiencies by trying to impress others by his 'superiority'. The narcissist finally decides that there is something wrong with his ordinary self and he must act out of his other self in order to gain the respect of others. Just as the individual becomes narcissistic because that is what the environment needed him to be, he also expects the environment to change along with what he believes as well.

Others are thus perceived to exist only in relation to the narcissist's needs. The term object relations thus takes on a special meaning with the narcissist. "We are objects to him, and to the extent that we are narcissistic, others are objects to us. He doesn't really see and hear and feel who we are and, to the extent that we are narcissistic, we do not really see and hear and feel the true presence of others. They, we, are objects... I am not real.

You are not real. You are an object to me. I am an object to you" (web). It is apparent that the narcissist maintains the illusion of being merged to the object. At a psychological level, he experiences difficulties in differentiating the self from others. It is the extent of this inability to distinguish personal boundaries which determines the severity of the narcissistic disorder.

The most extreme form of narcissism involves the perception that no separation exists between the self and the object. The object is viewed as an extension of the self, in the sense that the narcissist considers others to be a merged part of himself. Usually, the objects which the narcissist chooses to merge with represent that aspect of the narcissist's personality about which feelings of inferiority are perceived. For instance if a narcissist feels unattractive he will seek to merge with someone who is perceived by the narcissist to be attractive. At a slightly higher level exists the narcissist who acknowledges the separateness of the object, however, the narcissist views the object as similar to himself in the sense that they share a similar psychological makeup.

In effect the narcissist perceives the object as 'just like me'. The most evolved narcissistic personality perceives the object to be both separate and psychologically different, but is unable to appreciate the object as a unique and separate person. The object is thus perceived as useful only to the extent of its ability to promote the false self. There are also different types of narcissism. Pending the perceived needs of the environment a narcissist can develop in one of two directions. The individual whose environment supports his feeling of self-importance, and demands that he be more than possible, will most likely develop to be an exhibitionistic narcissist.

Such an individual is told 'you are superior to others', but at the same time his personal feelings are ignored. Thus, to restore his feelings of pride, the growing individual will attempt to coerce the environment into supporting his claims of superiority and perfection. On the other hand, if the environment feels threatened by the individual's feeling of superiority, it will attempt to suppress the individual from expressing this arrogance. Such an individual learns to keep the arrogance hidden from others, and will develop to be a closet narcissist.

The closet narcissist will reveal his feelings of self-pride when he is convinced that such revelations will be safe. Narcissist individuals also possess ways to defend themselves. Narcissistic defenses are present to some degree in all people, but are especially pervasive in narcissists. These defenses are used to protect the narcissist from experiencing the feelings of the narcissistic injury. The most pervasive defense mechanism is the arrogance defense. Its function is to restore the narcissist's inflated perception of himself.

Typically the defense is utilized when someone punctures the narcissist's self-pride by saying something which interferes with the narcissist's inflated view of himself. The narcissist will then experience a narcissistic injury similar to that experienced in childhood and will respond by expanding his self-pride, thus restoring his wounded self-concept. Devaluation is another common defense which is used in similar situations. When injured or disappointed the narcissist can respond by devaluing the offending person. Devaluation thus restores the wounded ego by providing the narcissist with a feeling of superiority over the offender.

There are two other defense mechanisms which the narcissist uses. The self-sufficiency defense is used to keep the narcissist emotionally isolated from others. By keeping himself emotionally isolated the narcissist's arrogance can continue to exist unchallenged. Finally, the manic defense is utilized when feelings of worthlessness begin to surface.

To avoid experiencing these feelings the narcissist will attempt to occupy himself with various activities, so that he has no time left to feel the feelings of self-worthlessness. There are also many ways to treat narcissism. The central theme in the psychodynamic treatment of the narcissist revolves around the transference relationship which emerges during treatment. In order for the transference relationship to develop the therapist must be emphatic in understanding the patient's narcissistic needs.

By echoing the narcissist, the therapist remains silent and invisible to the patient. In essence, the therapist becomes a mirror to the narcissist to the extent that the narcissist derives narcissistic pleasure from confronting his alter ego. Once the therapeutic relationship is established two transference like phenomena, the mirror transference and the idealizing transference, transference emerge. The mirror transference will occur when the therapist provides a strong sense of validation to the narcissist. Recall that the narcissistically injured child failed to receive validation for what he was. The child thus concluded that there is something wrong with his feelings, resulting in a severe damage to the child's self- esteem.

By reflecting back to his accomplishments and feelings of self-pride, the narcissist's self-esteem and internal cohesion are maintained. There are three types of the mirror transference phenomenon, each corresponding to a different level of narcissism. The merger transference will occur in those narcissists who are unable to distinguish between the object and the self. Such narcissists will perceive the therapist to be a virtual extension of themselves.

The narcissist will expect the therapist to be perfectly resonant to him, as if the therapist is an actual part of him. If the therapist should even slightly vary from the narcissist's needs or opinions, the narcissist will experience a painful breach in the cohesive self-object function provided by the therapist. Such patients will then likely feel betrayed by the therapist and will respond by withdrawing themselves from the therapist. In the second type of mirror transference, the alter-ego transference, the narcissist perceives the therapist to be psychologically similar to them. Conceptually, the narcissist perceives the therapist and themselves to be twins, separate but alike. In the alter-ego transference for the self-object cohesion to be maintained, it is necessary for the narcissist to view the therapist as 'just like me'.

The third type of mirror transference is again termed the mirror transference. In this instance the narcissist is only interested in the therapist to the extent that the therapist can reflect his feelings of self-importance. In this transference relationship, the function of the therapist is to bolster the narcissist's insecure self. The second self-object transference, the idealizing transference, involves the borrowing of strength from the object (the therapist) to maintain an internal sense of cohesion. By idealizing the therapist to whom the narcissist feels connected, the narcissist by association also uplifts himself. It is helpful to conceptualize the idealizing narcissist as an infant who draws strength from the omnipotence of the caregiver.

Thus, in the idealizing transference the therapist symbolizes omnipotence and this in turn makes the narcissist feel secure. The idealization of the object can become so important to the narcissist that in many cases, he will choose to fault himself, rather than blame the therapist. The idealizing transference is a more mature form of transference than the mirror transference because idealization requires a certain amount of internal structure. Oftentimes, the narcissist will first develop a mirror transference, and only when his internal structure is sufficiently strong will the idealizing transference, develop an even greater sense of self-importance.

The self-object transference relationships provide a stabilizing effect for the narcissist. The supportive therapist thus allows the narcissist to heal his current low self- esteem and reinstate the damaged alter ego. However, healing the current narcissistic injury does not address the underlying initial injury and in particular the issue of the false self. To address these issues the therapist must skillfully take advantage of the situations when the narcissist becomes uncharacteristically emotional, that is when the narcissist feels injured. It thus becomes crucial that within the context of the transference relationship, the therapist shift the narcissist's focus towards his inner feelings. The prevailing opinion amongst psychodynamic theorists is that the best way to address the narcissist's present experience, is to utilize a hands-off type of approach.

This can be accomplished by letting the narcissist take control of the sessions, processing the narcissist's injuries as they inevitably occur during the course of treatment. When a mirror transference develops, injuries will occur when the therapist improperly understands or reflects the narcissist's experiences. Similarly, when an idealizing transference is formed injuries will take the form of some disappointment with the therapist which then interferes with the narcissist's idealization of the therapist. In either case, the narcissist is trying to cover up the injury so that the therapist will not notice it. It remains up to the therapist to recognize the particular defense mechanisms that the narcissist will use to defend against the pain of the injury, and work backwards from there to discover the cause of the injury. Once the cause of the injury is discovered the therapist must carefully explore the issue with the narcissist, such that the patient does not feel threatened.

The following case provides a good example of the patience and skill that the therapist must possess in dealing with a narcissistic patient. (web disorders. com / fr 20/narcpersonalitydisorder. net) .".. a female patient in her mid-thirties came into a session feeling elated about having gotten a new job. All she could talk about is how perfect this job was. There was no hint of introspection or of any dysphoric effect. The therapist could find no opening and made no intervention the entire session except to acknowledge the patient's obvious excitement about her new job. Then, as the patient was leaving, the therapist noticed that she had left her eyeglasses on the table. He said, "you forgot your glasses", to which she responded with an expression of surprise and embarrassment saying, "Oh, how clumsy of me".

This response presented the therapist with a slight seem in the strong armor of self-pride and offered the opportunity for him to intervene. He commented, "You are so excited about the things that are happening to you that this is all you have been able to think about; in the process you seem to have forgotten a part of yourself". The patient smiled with a mixture of amusement and recognition. In this example the patient is defending throughout the session and in a moment of surprise she is embarrassed and labels herself "clumsy", giving the therapist the opportunity to interpret the defense, and how it takes her away from herself". (Mental Health Disorders, 1992).

The cure of the narcissist does not come from the self-object transference relationships. Rather, the self-object transference function of the therapist is curative only to the extent that it provides an external source of support which enables the narcissist to maintain his 'internal cohesion'. For the narcissist to be cured, it is necessary for him to create his own structure (the true self). The healing process is thus lengthy, and occurs in small increments whenever the structure supplied by the therapist is inadvertently interrupted. There are also some very strange beliefs about narcissism. Existentialists perceive narcissism to be a by-product of an alienating society.

It is difficult for the individual to truly be himself because society offers many rewards for the individual who conforms to its rules. Such an individual becomes alienated because he feels that society's rituals and demands grant him little significance and options in the control of his own destiny. To compensate, such an individual takes pleasure in his own uniqueness (grandiosity), he enjoys what others cannot see and control. Thus, the alienated person "sees himself as a puppet cued by social circumstances which exact ritualized performances from him. His irritation about the inevitability of this is counterbalanced by one major consolation. This consists of his narcissistic affection for his own machinery.

That is, his own processes and parts" (web) The existential treatment of the narcissist is based on the existential tenant that all existing persons have the need and possibility of going out from their centered ness to participate in other beings. The severely alienated narcissistic individual, however, does not believe in the validity of experience outside of the self. Unlike others, the narcissist does not believe that a constructive relationship with others is possible. Existentialists therefore believe that the therapist, through emphatic understanding, must create a strong bond with the narcissist, so that he can see that others have feelings too. Millions of people suffer from narcissism. However, not all of them are being properly treated for the disorder.

When physicians can better determine the exact type of narcissism and thus pinpoint the correct treatment that should be used, treatment for the patient should start being more successful. Although not much thought of narcissism, as a serious mental disorder, exists, it is certainly recognizable among the people who have it and the others who interact with them.