Next Step In The Listening Process example essay topic

Listening Jidda Krishnamurti once said, So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it. This is very true and occasionally people find themselves not really listening to what another is saying. Listening is the process through which we understand, learn and help other people. It involves showing up, understanding, responding (verbally and nonverbally), and remembering. In order to show up a person must be attentive, in other words, pay attention. The next step in the listening process is understanding.

A person understands by making sense of the message he / she receives from another person. It is the responsibility of the listener, not the speaker to makes ure the message is understood. The next step in the listening process is responding. Responding does not always mean talking.

It just means giving feedback to the speaker in away that they see and understand it. The final step in the listening process is remembering. Remembering usually comes with understanding however, this is not always the case. Mostoften, the messages that we do not remember are the ones we did not listen to. They are themessage that we only heard. Listening is very different from hearing.

Hearing is when a sound wave strikes person's eardrum and cause vibrations that are then sent to the brain. Listening is the process that comes after that. Listening is the brain taking those messages sent from the ear and forming them and constructing them, giving them meaning. Hearing is automatic; listening is not. Also, listening requires effort.

Effort to understand and decode messages correctly. Hearing requires no effort and is a passive activity. In the conversations I had and observed, I occasionally noticed myself hearing andnot listening to the speaker. In our book, there are three types of listening listed: informational, critical and empathic. Informational listening is the type of listening we use when we are trying to understand other people. Critical listening is the type of listening we use when we are trying to evaluate the quality of a message so that we can decide if we should accept it or not.

Empathic listening is the type of listening we use when we are trying to help the speaker solve a problem. In my first conversation (Appendix 1), I practiced mostly informational listening. As my mom told me the different things that were going on that weekend, I found myselfparaphrasing what she was saying in order to better understand what my responsibilitieswould be. I was trying to get some understanding of what was to happen for the days she would be gone.

I was also a empathic listener as my mom told me how worried she was bout my grandmother and my dad and uncles. Instead of giving her my advice, I simplyprompted and supported her feelings until she came up with her own solution, one that shefelt would work best. I was trying to help her solve a problem. In my second conversation (Appendix 2), I was supposed to be practicing empathic listening.

However, I soon found my self practicing pseudolistening. I was pretending I was listening to her while in actuality I was simply hearing her. I did however, occasionally offer her my advice as she did with me. Often during the conversation I found my mind wandering and I began thinking about other things. I would give the automatic uh-huh response most of the time there was a pause in the conversation. She was looking for advice for what she should do about her problems and empathic listening is what was expected of me even though I didn t exactly deliver.

I advised occasionally but I did not prompt her or support her at all. In my next conversation, (Appendix 3), I was listening to a speaker during one of my classes and I found myself trying to decide whether or not I should listen to them or not. Ipracticed critical listening for I was trying to decide whether or not to I should accept themessage. I did not agree with what the speaker was saying and I did find myself attacking the speaker rather than the message in my mind.

Also, I didn t feel the speaker was very in tune with the times of today and so I kind of blocked out most of his message. I did not evaluate the speakers credibility, or listen before evaluating. I judged the speaker's idea before I heard the whole argument. I did examine the speaker's emotional appeals however for I felt that his evidence was not recent at all. In my next conversation, (Appendix 4) the trainer was going over the things we had learned the previous day over, and over, and over and I was getting sick of practicing. Int his conversation, I was supposed to be practicing informational listening but I was not at all.

I was, in fact, practicing critical listening. I did not think that her message was of any value and so I found myself talking to the other people around me and not really paying attention. I definitely was listening selectively because I only paid attention to the things that I felt were important. My nonverbal listening involved looking at the clock constantly and not looking at her or at the screen she was using.

By using these nonverbal listening techniques I showed her that I did not want to accept her message. In my next conversation, (Appendix 5) I practiced informational and empathic listening. My boyfriend was asking me for my advice and I was giving it. He also wasasking me to call people to invite them so I had to pay close attention to who he wanted met invite. I made sure I asked questions, paraphrased and took notes so that I would be certain of exactly what my responsibilities were. When he asked, I gave him my advice another times I simply affirmed decisions he had already made.

I supported and prompted him to make his own decisions by my words and actions. My nonverbal listening included eyecontact, attentiveness and reacting with appropriate facial expressions. These actions showed him that I was interested and helped him feel secure in knowing that I would do what he needed me to do. In my next conversation, (Appendix 6) I practiced informational listening.

I asked her questions about the assignment and she explained it to me. Since I was the one who initiated the conversation, I paid close attention to what she was saying and I maintained eyecontact through out. I asked questions and paraphrased to make sure I understood what shewas telling me. I also wrote down some brief notes to myself about the assignment in my assignment book so that I would be sure to understand the assignment when I came back toit. In my next conversation, (Appendix 7) I should have been practicing informational listening but I did not do a very good job. During this conversation I was much more consumed with getting my food and getting to my next class than I was with what she had today.

Once she mentioned what was on the menu for lunch however, I immediately began paying closer attention. I practiced selective listening by only paying attention the things that interested me. I showed my inattentivness nonverbally by looking at my watch and not making eye contact. In my next conversation, (Appendix 8) I practiced empathic listening with my sister.

She was talking to me about her date (or lack thereof) for Homecoming. She was asking my advice because she had to pick between two guys who had asked her. I showed my interest by prompting her and asking her questions such as, Which one do you think you ll have abetter time with I also paraphrased what she was saying occasionally. I showed my interest nonverbally by nodding when I agreed or understood what she was saying and by making eye contact. In my next conversation, (Appendix 9) I had a conversation with a friend of mine about religion. I am a Catholic and he is an atheist.

It was very hard for me to separate themessage from the speaker in this case. I practiced critical listening but not very good listening. I did not think that he was an authority for his side of the debate and I found myself judging his ideas before I fully understood all of his arguments. I showed my displeasure by raising my voice occasionally and acting agitated and fidgety. I was also very impatient. I also got defensive and felt that he was attacking me instead of offering me different way of looking at things.

In my last conversation, (Appendix 10) I was back at Miles Kimball answering phones and taking orders. I had to practice very careful informational listening. Each of these conversations was very important and I found myself paying close attention to what the customer was saying. I frequently found myself verifying information given to me and income cases, writing things down so that I could make reference to them later. I did not let any outside noise distract my attention so that I could provide the best possible customer service.

In most cases I think I am a pretty effective listener. At least, I am and effective listener if I want or need to be. The kind of communication situations in which I am mostoften an ineffective listener are situations in which I already know the information being given to me and situations in which I am not at all interested and / or impatient with what the speaker has to say. I think that this is common with all people. Appendix #1 The first conversation I observed was between me and my mother on Oct. 1 at around 7: 00 p. m... My mom had called to tell me that my great-grandmother had just died and she needed me to come home and watch my siblings while her and my father went to the funeral in Indiana.

The type of listening I did there was mostly informational. The conversation was over the phone so there wasn t much nonverbal communication. I was also a empathetic listener as my mom told me how worried she was boutmy grandmother and my dad and uncles. Appendix #2 Another of the conversations I analyzed was with my roommate. Sara and I we relaying in bed on Oct. 12 at around midnight discussing our problems and basically just complaining to each other. I soon found my self practicing pseudolistening.

Appendix #3 The next conversation took place on Oct. 13 at around 3: 00 pm. I was listening to speaker during one of my classes and I found myself trying to decide whether or not I should listen to them or not. Appendix #4 On Oct 14 at around 6: 00 pm I was at Miles Kimball for orientation. The trainer was going over the things we had learned the previous day over, and over, and over and I was getting sick of practicing. I found myself talking to the other people around me and not really paying attention because I felt that I knew the things she was talking about so I didn feel like I needed to pay attention. Appendix #5 On Oct. 14 around 11: 00 pm I had a conversation with my boyfriend.

We were discussing plans for his upcoming Halloween party. He was asking me for my advice and Was giving it. He also was asking me to call people to invite them so I had to pay close attention to who he wanted me to invite. When he asked, I gave him my advice and other times I simply affirmed decisions he had already made.

Appendix #6 On Oct 15 at 8: 00 am I had a conversation with my Spanish teacher regarding an assignment that I didn t understand. I asked her questions Abu tit and she explained it tome. Appendix #7 On Oct 15 at around 10: 00 am I had a conversation with one of the lunch ladies inthe cafeteria. During this conversation I was much more consumed with getting my food and getting to my next class than I was with what she had to say.

Appendix #8 On Oct. 15 at around 3: 00 p.m. I was having a conversation with my high school sister. Showed my interest nonverbally by nodding when I agreed or understood what she was saying and by making eye contact. Appendix #9 At around 5: 00 p.m. on Oct. 15 I had a conversation with a friend of mine about religion. I also got defensive and felt that he was attacking me instead of offering me a different way of looking at things. Appendix # 10 On Oct. 15 at around 9: 00 I was back at Miles Kimball answering phones and taking orders.

I frequently found myself verifying information given to me and in some cases, writing things down so that I could make reference to them later.