Nonverbal Communication On The Other Hand example essay topic

Gender and Communications Communication is an ongoing, transactional process in which individuals exchange messages whose meanings are influenced by the history of the relationship and the experiences of the participants. (Adler, p. 384) Communication depends on relationships between the people who are communicating, and on common basics between them. Problems in communications between people may arise due to differences in cultures, perceptions, values, and expectations from life. As in many other gender differences, miscommunication's between males and females can be explained by either the biological aspect or the cultural / environmental aspect. Deborah Tannen, a University professor of linguistics at Georgetown University and an Author, suggests the biological explanation to the problem: "Sometimes when you are talking to someone from other gender, it is like you are talking to someone from another world" said Prof. Tannen when she was talking about communications between opposite genders. That is the main reason why girls and boys prefer to play with their own sex.

A research, made by her, shows the differences in friendships between two best-friends girls, and two best-friends boys in ages five, ten and fifteen. The girls were facing each other while talking in the three cases; most of the talk was about friendship. However, the boys in the three cases where sitting in angle to each other or side-by-side, they were looking around, through the whole conversation, and never looked at each other. The fact that these differences are displayed in an early age, support the biological explanation. Alternatively, others suggest that opposite genders face miscommunication problems due to cultural and environmental factors. Although our society shifts to a more egalitarian one, there are still significant stereotypes of masculine and feminine behaviors.

Traditionally, attributes such as assertiveness, individualism, rationalism, technical capability, and self-confidence are conceived as more masculine, whereas emotionalism, mildness, dependability, warmness, maturity, and cooperation are conceived as more feminine. Throughout their life, kids are expected to behave according to their gender's attributes. As a result of these attributes, the women's role is to take care of the kids, while the men's role is to financially support them. The society's pressure on the women is demonstrated in one of the scenes in the movie "When Harry Met Sally", in which one of Sally Albright's girl-friends explains her the urgency of finding a husband: "All I'm saying is that somewhere out there is the man you are supposed to marry. And if you don't get him first, somebody else will, and you " ll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that somebody else is married to your husband". In order to be able to solve some of the problems associated with gender miscommunication's, we should distinguish first between the two different types of communications: verbal communication and nonverbal communication.

Verbal communication consists of messages expressed by linguistic means such as the use of intonation, the specific words we choose to say, and the way we are saying them. There are differences in females and males usage of language / verbal communication. As we might expect from traditional sex-role stereotypes, girls tend to establish more egalitarian same-sex groups. Girls use friendly groups as a training ground for cooperation. Boys view friendly conversation among their friends as training for verbal aggression. Females are more verbal, use three times more amount of words than males, they are much more descriptive and use more adjectives.

Women are less direct in their communication style. As Prof. Tannen showed in one of her research, women are more indirect in answering questions depends on the situation. They answer questions the way they would like to be answered by men, which means more than just a yes / no answer. However, men answer the way they would like to be answered their own questions, which means in a very simple way (yes / no answers).

Females use more implied speech, a calmer and softer intonation, and tend to ask more questions in order to get more information and details because they are more concerned about others. Best friends girls are talking more, telling secrets and putting most effort for trying to proof they are the same; being more cooperative. Yet, males are less verbal; tend to listen more and talk less. They can be together with other men watch TV or just go for a ride for hours and not talk. Men are more direct in their communication style; that is why they are better in marketing.

They are more daring in general than women because they are physically confidence and think they are really good in almost everything. Boys becoming best friends due to common hobbies, talents, playing games and less due to talking and sharing secrets. They are putting most effort for showing who is the best, trying to get to a competition with each other. Because of the differences in the verbal communication styles females and males are using, there are some miscommunication in understanding each other when the two are getting together. This miscommunication is demonstrated in the movie "When Harry Met Sally", in one of the scenes where Harry Burns (Billy Crystal) gives Sally Albright (Meg Ryan) a compliment (in the car, on their way to New York) and she takes it as if he tries to make a move on her. Nonverbal communication, on the other hand, consists of messages expressed by non linguistic means such as distance, physical contact, body posture and orientation, mimics, movement, vocal characteristics, clothing, and physical environment.

Females put a higher priority in relationships and closer friendships, use intimacy as an indicator for judging relations. Therefore, women use more physical contact while talking to others; touch more, and are more concern about exploring emotions. Women use more "close body" type of gestures, using "small space". They make less eye contact, more shelter themselves, and tend to hide parts of their body. Vocal qualities reflect sex-role stereotypes as verbal cues. Known from research (Stewart), as boys and girls grow older, girls express more emotion in their voices than do boys.

As adults, some women add a questioning tone to their voices by using rising inflections that seems to seek approval; men use downward vocal inflections that convey certainty. Females are more concerned about their appearance and they have more choices to make about clothing than males. Men command more space in both posture and general body movements than women. They tend to be more physical, use activity and courage to show skills and to get attention of their body.

Males use more eye contact, stand straighter, and generally use more positive and "open" gestures. Because men do not have much choice to make about clothing, they concern more about accessories like type of car, watch, and small handy electronic devices. Although the common masculine / feminine behavior stereotype holds that women are more concerned about their appearance, we know from research that perceptions of physical appearance is about men as well. Men with athletic bodies are perceived as more socially acceptable than men with short, chubby bodies. Therefore a lot of men try to make their bodies more muscular. Overall, nonverbal behaviors reflect the same sex-roles stereotypes we observed in verbal behavior.

Male demonstrate nonverbal cues that conform to the sex-role expectation of independence and dominance. Females demonstrate nonverbal cues that conform to the sex-role expectations of dependence and submission. Differences between men and women are also reflected in artifacts, such as toys. As infant, girls more often play with dolls, colorful and pleasant soft toys, they are given play subjects that encourage activities directed toward the home. While boys more often play with soldiers, transportation, scary and unpleasant toys. And they are given play subjects that encourage activities directed away from the home.

In family, marriage and friendships, although the intimacy that is developed, which provide us with the ultimate opportunity for personal satisfaction in the communication between the sexes, there are still differences between men and women. Most research shows that women are more willing to share their personal thoughts and feelings than men. In term of the amount and depth of information exchanged, female-female relationships are the most disclosure. Male-female relationships come second, and relationships between two men typically involve less disclosure than all the other types.

Both male and female are equally likely to discuss personal appearance, sex, and dating in same-sex conversations. But most information and topics men and women reveal between them is different. Women involve more disclosure of feelings. They spend more time discussing relationships problems; health, family and reproductive matters; weight; food; clothing; men, and other women. The information they reveal is more personal. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to discuss sports, hobbies, and activities.

Women are more likely to use facilitative and expressive behaviors. Tend to be more dependent on the relationship, and try to keep it exciting all the time (that is why sometimes women can be viewed as the "pusher" person who tries all the time to make things perfect). While men tend to use more instruments and control strategies, are more independent and do not show and express their feelings and thoughts as much often as women. As the movie "When Harry Met Sally" demonstrates, after a couple is having sex there comes the common question about "how much time the couple need to spend together in bed".

Even here we can see the differences, in the view, between males and females. Men see the "time after having sex" as how long it takes them to get back home. While women prefer to be hugged by the man, go to sleep and wake up together. Verbal and nonverbal, artifacts, society, families, relationships, environment and culture, are few of the reasons to the differences and problems between genders when it comes to exchanging information and communicating. We can find much more causes, examples and cases in our everyday life.

Of course, these sex differences are statistical average, and many men and women do not fit these profiles. As we can learn from many social and psychological researchers, there is no one biological or cultural / environmental explanation for the miscommunication between males and females. The explanation is a complex one, it involves the two aspects, and sex is not the only variable that effects our miscommunication in life. Knowing the main differences between men and women in communications can help us communicate better with others, and especially with the other sex. Work cited"u Adler, Ronald B. Interplay, The Process of Interpersonal Communication. More Eds.

Lawrence B. Rosenfeld, and Russell F. Proctor II. 8th edition. Harcourt College Publishers, 2001". u Movie - "Gender and Communication" by Deborah Tannen". u Movie - "When Harry Met Sally" "u Stewart, Lea P. Communication Between The Sexes. More Eds. Alan D. Stewart, Sheryl A. Fridley, and Pamela J. Cooper. 2nd edition.

Arizona, 1990". u Tannen, Deborah. Gender and conversational interaction. 1993.