One And Strong And Free In Spirit example essay topic

As Hagar faces implications of growing old, she starts on a tumultuous journey, not one of her own choice, but one of destiny. She goes through different stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance of the fact that death will come, invited or not. At one time every individual is faced with death, horrific to the young, or inviting to the sick and the old. Death is interpreted as the end of existence, but to those who believe in the afterlife, as a whole new chapter of the unknown. When Hagar realizes the proximity of death, she is in denial. She comes to live in a world of memories in the past.

She created her own illusion because she cannot understand the weakness coming forth in her, like her tears 'the incontinent wetness of the infirm' (pg. 31). All her life, she was hard, never showing emotion, even through the death of John. You can see her softening near the end, although she would not admit it. In addition to denial, she reaches a stage of anger and indign ance with herself and others in the small world that is her life.

She can no longer perform the simplest tasks such as dressing herself or walking down the stairs. It irks her to need help, which is one of the reasons she can't stand Doris. She is also angry at the lack of emotional control as she perceives how 'laden with self-pity' (pg. 31) her voice sounds when arguing with Marvin in one instance. She cannot control how her 'mouth speaks by itself, the words flowing from somewhere, some half-hidden hurt' (pg. 68). After the denial and anger begin to fade, she attempts a short bargaining period where she wonders what if. She even tells God to bless her or not 'just as You please' (pg. 307), but she would not beg.

But even though she attempts to wrestle against the inevitable, there is always a constant reminder. She places her belief in herself only and faults other's credibility, such as Doctor Tappen's, to maintain the illusion now hanging by a flimsy thread. When Hagar realizes she cannot control or stop the process of old age, she becomes depressed and distant. When she hears about Silver threads, she is 'overcome with fear, the feelings one has when the ether mask goes on, when the mind cries out to the limbs, 'flail against the thing', but the limbs are already touched with lethargy, bound and lost' (pg. 95). Hagar also realizes she cannot control her future because Marvin has taken control of all her money, which leaves her helpless. She is depressed, with no control over self, body, destiny or future.

Her fate is already pre-determined for her and she cannot do a thing about it. She is depressed about going to a nursing home so she runs away but she soon learns that she cannot escape her problems by running because they will always by waiting for her upon return. When she thinks of her predicaments, she begins to think of all the mistakes she's made in the past and will forever be reaping the benefits of. Most of all, she regrets the way she treated her family, especially her father, whom she never reconciled with.

Towards the end she begins to give of herself as a way of apologizing and leaving some kind of legacy with her family, such as giving Tina her mother's sapphire ring. Finally, towards the end of the novel, Hagar reaches the final leg of her journey and accepts her fate instead of trying to deny she could ever cease to exist. She finds it 'hard to imagine a world' and her 'not in it' (pg. 250). She wonders if 'everything will stop' (pg. 250) when she does.

And yet, she will never just lay down and die, she will be ready to go down fighting. Her spirit will never die. Now she is ready to accept that she cannot change what happened in the past but only overcome it to grasp a remnant of peace with herself and her family. She makes peace with Marvin in confirming him as a good son, even though she lies about him being her favorite son. She also looks within herself to discover what she has always wanted - 'simply to rejoice' (pg. 292). She wonders why she 'never could' (pg. 292).

Every good joy was 'forced to a standstill by some brake of proper appearances - oh, proper to whom?' (pg. 292). She wonders when she ever spoke 'heart's truth' (pg. 292). Even though Hagar accepts the journey towards death she is determined to do it alone. Maybe for personal satisfaction or for others. When she gets to the bathroom on her own one time, Hagar wonders if what she's done is for the nurse or for herself. When she leaves the world, she leaves on her own terms, no one else's, revealing again her free and independent spirit prevailing until the end.

The novel is an unforgettable tale about a proud, courageous woman, Hagar, who is determined to leave the world, fighting, dependent on no one and strong and free in spirit. She doesn't want others to feel pity for her, mourn her or worry. Hagar accomplishes her goal, even though she has to shatter the illusion and accept the harsh facts of life and reality. In final scene, the message is that Hagar obtains her independence when she holds the glass of water, she reaches the climax of her life. As a result, she can leave the world in a state of peace knowing that in the end she succeeded in freeing herself. Hagar bravely survived her last moments with the ultimate reward of satisfaction and, hopefully, a time of rejoicing.