Parents Use Limits And Expectations example essay topic

In 1978, Dr. Diana Baumrind was the first to define the four parenting styles. Since then, there have been more styles that utilize different category designs. For Baumrind, her categories were responsiveness and demanding ness. Responsiveness is defined as warmth: a parent's response to the needs of a child in an accepting and supporting way.

Responsiveness can also be used interchangeable with love. Parents use love as a tool to teach right from wrong, increase a child's self-esteem, and encourage individualism. In order to portray love, these parents use a combination of communication, negotiation, and reason. Demanding ness, or limits, refers to a parent's expectation of mature, responsible behavior.

Parents use limits and expectations to teach respect and provide a sound structure for their child. Consequently, the use of control and harsh discipline is used. The differences between the four styles is easily seen and defined in the following chart: Baumrind's Four Parenting StylesDemandingnessResponsiveness Low High Low Uninvolved Authoritarian High Permissive Authoritative Authoritative or democratic parents are considered flexible, using negotiation and communication with control and discipline to allow for give-and-take situations. They are less likely to use physical punishment.

These parents encourage a child's uniqueness and gives love and respect. They offer their support in everything the child does, even when the result is failure. Rather they encourage a healthy rebound. Authoritarian parents are seen as highly directive individuals who value obedience to maintain order. They tend to monopolize a child and hold them to, sometimes, unreasonable goals. These parents constantly supervise, give reminders, and instruct their child in every aspect of everyday life.

In some extremes and due to external sources, authoritarian parents give excessive amounts of duties and chores upon a child, which would cause a child to miss out on the 'carefree' aspect of childhood. These parents also discourage discussion between them and their children Permissive or indulgent parents would rather avoid problematic behavior and allow a child a great deal of freedom. They will prefer to submit to a child who throws a temper tantrum and demands to avoid a big confrontation and become unable to say 'no'. Uninvolved parents show no interest in the life of the child and may actively reject or neglect the child.

This may be due to a preoccupation with work, poverty, wealth, alcoholism, divorce, or illness. Children can be influenced by different parenting styles. The following chart summaries the effects that coincide with the different parenting styles. Parenting Style Resulting Effects on Children Authoritative Child learns to cope easily, not afraid to try and fail. ResilientIndividuatedMatureSelf-regulated and responsible Achievement oriented Highest scores on standardized testing Sees the world as friendly and safe Communicates better Authoritarian Have a multitude of problems Less individuated and very submissive (docile behavior) Show lower degree of social skills, ego development Perform poorly on standardized testing See parents as restrictive Tends to be actively rebellious and overtly defiant Shows passive resistance: dawdling, daydreaming, forgetting Permissive Less assertive and initiative Smart, but less achievement oriented Show less self-regulation and social responsibility Likely to use drugs Loses spontaneityIndifferentSees adults as the providers of pleasure and comfort Uninvolved Antisocial, Immature, Lack self-regulation Lack the ability to form close relationships Have the most internalizing and externalizing problems Low scores on achievement tests Reject parents in the position of role models Most likely to use drugs and alcohol Feels like he / she is alone in the world Children will become adults someday. The following chart attempts to predict the children of the various parenting styles and their outlooks on different aspects on adulthood.

Parental style Adult attitude Attitude towards life Attitude towards others Attitude towards work Attitude towards sex and marriage Authoritative Feels connected, part of life. Positive attitude. Willing to improve life. Willing to help, share with, contribute to, and cooperate with others. Work useful to others.

Does his best to offer value. Can lead or cooperate on a team. Sex as expression of mature love, caring, and giving. Feels equal to partner. Authoritarian Extremely responsible.

Hard time letting-go and playing. Anxiety about relaxation. No mental refreshment Takes on excessive obligations, often depriving others of their share of responsibility or opportunity. May be resistant to schedules and expectations, or may push self and others unmercifully. Always feels hard-pressed and driven. Fears everything would 'go to hell' if he lets down.

Sex and marriage may be seen as duties and be carried out resentfully without satisfaction. Never gets around to carefree times. Inability to relax. Permissive Self-indulgent, bored, apathetic, restless, no initiative.

Very impulsive, hard to set limits, extravagant, has tantrums. Passive expectation of getting from others. Expects them to anticipate his wishes. Hates to work. Can't find a job. No career decisions, no preparation, or persistence.

Expects admiration for modest effort. Attaches to partners who indulge him. May use attractiveness or pretend weakness. Wants to be waited on, chooses a servant. Selfish, inconsiderate. Feels hurt if not catered to.

Uninvolved Tends to be impulsive, filling life with compensation for a feeling of emptiness. Lonely. Does not make close and meaningful contact. Superficial, exploitative relationships.

Hides behind aloofness. May strive compulsively after wealth, success, or fame to relieve feeling of emptiness. Stage performing may offer fantasy identities. May yearn for partner to play a parent role, offering unlimited attention, acceptance, or affection. May be promiscuous, getting what he can from many. The three parenting styles may not be so distinct in real life.

Every parent will spend a bit of time in each one. A normally democratic mother may become permissive when she has too much to do. A permissive father might become authoritarian when he becomes frustrated with his child's extreme selfishness. Most parents have a dominant style of parenting that they use throughout their child's life, but circumstances and relationship dynamics frequently produce a mix of styles. Parenting styles are broad categories that can overlap, shift, mix, and change over time. I believed that birth order has a lot to do with how a parent reacts to his / her children.

My dad has changed from an authoritarian to an authoritative parent. I was the first-born, and there is a marked difference between the way my parents treat my sister and I. It has always felt like they had expected more from me. I always tell my sister that I had opened the door for her. My mum is the authoritative one.

She always tries and explains things to me in her own way and makes sure that I understand, but she also gives me time to think it. To tell the truth, I sometimes hated my parents for their bias treatment of my sister and I. Then again, I think I was quite a difficult child, both rebellious nonconforming, but it just hurts when the phrase "Don't be like your sister" is used. Nevertheless, I grew up well adjusted and happy. I did not plan on becoming a mother at such a young age.

I felt like there are so many things left unexperienced. However, my husband and I have been enjoying Andrew for whom he is. He is such a bundle of joy. We are the new generation parents, and we are nurturing a new generation.

We like to let him learn by experience and not stifle him. Letting him roam around and get into things is the best way for him to see the world. Why be so concerned about letting Andrew get into things? Someone had commented that we are the most casual set of parents she has ever met. I like to think of that in a positive way. I often draw from my childhood experiences and bring myself to Andrew's level to become a better parent, because what better way is there to understand our children than to become children ourselves?