People With Higher Self Esteems example essay topic

Dating: Bars, Clubs, and Personal Advertisements Single adults partake of many activities to seek dates and find mates. Many use advertisements in local newspapers to attract possible candidates for a relationship. Others go to single's clubs and bars to find their potential soulmate. The type of activities people choose are dependent on the person's self-esteem and self-confidence. The information for this research was obtained from the article "Self Esteem of Persons Seeking Dates Via Bars, Singles Clubs, and Personal Advertisements". The article was written by Paul Yelsma and Paul L. Wiener.

It appears in "Sociological Spectrum" for January - March 1996. The research method used in this article was a questionnaire. These questionnaires were sent to people who advertised in the local paper. Single's club participants were presented questionnaires and asked to complete them atone of the two clubs in the same geographic region. Those who attended bars were either contacted directly or given questionnaires. The questionnaires were completed by 152 subjects: 40 from ads; 62 attended singles clubs, and 50 frequented bars.

(Yelsma and Weiner, p. 35) What effect does self esteem have in a person's decision on what type of method to use to find their possible companion? It is shown that people with lower self-esteems tend to choose personal advertisements, while people with higher self esteems tend to lean towards the bar scene. Others with a mediocre self-esteem seem to go towards the clubs scene. According to Josephs, Lar rick, Steele, and Nisbet t, (1992, p. 27) "The higher one's self esteem, the less one has to fear from threats to the self, and individuals with higher levels of self-esteem should be less affected by the threats to the self". This means that the higher ones self esteem is, the more they will not be afraid to show themselves in public.

Those with the low self-esteems, will hide behind the words of a personal advertisement, while those with higher self-esteems will be open enough to attempt to meet people on a personal basis. One of the reasons people are reluctant to use personal ads are because of their odd beginnings. In the early days of personal ads, they were used by those seeking homosexual relationships, and for "immoral actions". However, since then, the have become much popular. People from all walks of life use personal ads to attract others with similar likes and dislikes. In a personal advertisement, the person making the ad gets the advantage of never actually meeting the person before first contact.

This allows them to have a veil of secrecy around them. For those with low self-esteem, this allows them to hide in the words, only allowing the information they want to be released to possible dates. The person who reads the ad must then decide if they want to contact the other person solely based on a few words describing a stranger. In my opinion, the person replying to the ad must have immense willpower to go on a "blind date". Personal ads are not the only method being studied. People with a mediocre self-esteem tend to go to single's clubs.

Single's clubs have one purpose: to give a location that single men and women can meet one another without the risk of hitting on someone who's already attached. Also, because its a place for singles, and singles alone, a person doesn't risk as much rejection because the person they are attempting to attract is there for the same reason. Bar crowds are different. A bar is filled with several types of people. Some are there to find a date, some are there just to relax and get a few drinks, and some there are actually on dates.

A person has to have a relatively good self-esteem to approach someone in a bar. When they approach someone, they are risking embarrassment, and rejection on a higher level than either of the two previous methods used. If a person is not rejected however, it can be a major self-esteem booster, making the person feel much better about themselves. Ital so gives them a since of accomplishment, that they actually did something for themselves. This boosts both self-esteem and self-confidence to an all time high. Self-esteem also used in the decision on how many methods a person uses.

The article states that people with lower self esteems tend to use more than one method. This means that a person with low self-esteem will tend to use all three methods to find a date, while those with higher self-esteems will use only one. The choice in what method a person uses to find a date is directly related to the amount a self-esteem a person possess. A person with low self esteem will lean towards the anonymity of personal advertisements, while those with higher self-esteems will use physical attraction, and seek a date in bars and clubs.

Also, the number of methods used depends on self-esteem as well: the lower the self-esteem, the more methods they will use to find a suitable date.