Play On A Course example essay topic

A man walks into a Pharmacy and says to the beautiful female teller, 'Umm... err, I've never purchased condoms before, and I don't know what size to buy. ' 'That's okay. You can test your size on the fence out in back.'s o the man walks out back and he sees three holes. Just as he prepares to stick his penis in the first hole, the beautiful teller sneaks over to the other side of the fence. The man sticks his penis through the first hole where it is gently caressed by the teller. Then he pulls it it out and sticks it through the second hole where the teller begins to suck his penis and give him a blow job.

Then, finally, he pulls it out and sticks it in the third hole. The teller takes her vagina, wraps it around his penis, and begins to hump it. She quickly pulls up her pants and scurries back inside where the man is beginning to stumble back in. She starts to giggle and says, 'Have you decided on the appropriate size?' 'Screw the condoms!

Just give me 3 yards of that fence!' Three ducks went into court. The judge called the first one to the stand. ' What is your name?' he asked. ' Quack. ' the duck answered. ' And why were you arrested?' the judge asked. ' I was blowing bubbles. ' he answered.

The judge didn't see anything wrong with that, so he dismissed the duck and called up the next one. ' What's your name?' he asked. ' Why were you arrested?' the Judge asked. ' I was blowing bubbles. ' the duck replied. Again, the judge saw nothing offensive, so he called up the next duck. ' What's your name??

No wait, let me guess, Quack. ' he said. ' No,' said the duck, 'My name is Bubbles. ' The Rules of Bedroom Golf 1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play. 2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out. 4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft.

Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins. 5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole. 6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is completed. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to well formed bunkers. 8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage players equipment for this reason.

9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection. 10. Players should ensure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course. 11.

Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at tall times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case.

12. The course owners is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of alignment with, and approach to the hole. 13. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine. 14. Slow play is encouraged.

However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owners request. 15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match. THE BOYFRIEND girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup.

As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a red 'H' on her chest. 'How did you get that mark on your chest?' asks the doctor. 'Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love,' she replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup.

As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. 'Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love,' she replies. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest. 'Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?' asks the doctor. ' No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do you ask?' Two Gay Guys Two gay guys were in the shower together when one looked down and saw a puddle of white liquid.

He said to the other man What did I tell you about farting in the shower? EVERYBODY IS GAY A guy came into a bar one day and said to the bartender, 'Give me six double vodkas. ' The bartender says, 'Wow! you must have had one hell of a day. ' 'Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay.

' The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, 'I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!' On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, 'Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?' 'Yeah, my wife... ' PARATROOPER A young army private is home on leave. He is talking to his dad about his experience at jump school while learning to be a paratrooper.

'Dad' he says, 'on my first jump, I froze up at the door on the plane. A big black sergeant standing behind me told me that if I didn't jump, he was gonna cram about 12 inches of dick up my ass. ' 'Well did you jump?' asks his dad. 'Just a little at first' answered the boy.

GAY BOYS Four men went golfing together one day; three headed to the first tee and one went into the club house to take care of the bill. The three men started talking, bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, 'My son is a home builder and he's so successful that he gave a friend a new home - for free. ' The second man said, 'My son was a car salesman and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave a friend two Cadillacs. ' The third man, not wanting to be outdone bragged, 'My son is a stock broker and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock portfolio.

' The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned, 'We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?' The fourth man replied, 'Well, my son is gay. I'm not totally thrilled about it, but he must be good. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, two cars, and a stock portfolio. ' Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy.

One morning, the first friend says, 'You know, we " re starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up today. I'll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we " ll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire.

' The second friend agrees and hikes south. The first man hikes north. That night over dinner, the first man tells his story: 'Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake.

As I sat out and dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?' The second friend says, 'I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful young woman tied to the tracks.

I cut the ropes off, gently lifted her off the tracks, and I had sex with her in every imaginable way all afternoon. Finally, when I was so tired I could barely move, I came back to camp. ' 'Wow! !' the first guy exclaimed, 'Your day was MUCH better than mine. Did you get a blow job, too?' 'Nah,' says the second friend over his meal, 'I couldn't find her head.

' There's a student in medical school who wants to specialize in sexual disorders, so he makes arrangements to visit the sexual disorder clinic. The chief doctor is showing him around, discussing cases and the facility, when the student sees a patient masturbating right there in the hallway. ' What condition does he have?' the student asks. ' He suffers from Seminal Buildup Disorder,' the doctor replies.

'If he doesn't obtain sexual release forty to fifty times a day, he " ll pass into a coma. ' The student takes some notes on that, and they continue down the hall. As they turn the corner, he sees another patient with his pants around his ankles, receiving oral sex from a beautiful nurse. ' What about him?' the student asks. 'What's his story?' 'Oh, it's the same condition,' the doctor replies.

'He just has a better health plan. ' Why are Blonde's coffins shaped like a triangle? Because every time their head hits a pillow their legs open. What's blonde-brunette-blonde-brunette-blonde-brunette-blonde? A blonde doing cartwheels.

What's the difference between a blonde guy and a blonde girl? The blonde girl's sperm count is higher.