Power Of Suyuan's Love For Jing example essay topic
But Jing-Mei has no desire to prove herself or excel in any field. She wants to take life as it comes. In her words, "I did not believe I could be anything I wanted to be. I could only be me" Tan (679).
Since Suyuan believes that anything can be accomplished and she uses her daughter as her outlet to prove it. She continuously gives Jing-me numerous test and eventually forces her to take piano lessons, which becomes Suyuan's prime focus of her 'perfect daughter' determination. As Jing-me takes her lesson she discovers that since her teacher was deaf she could fool him and act like she was really learning but her pr acting habits soon came to light. Jing-me was in a talent show and was suppose to play a piece called, 'Pleading Child' and when it came to the recital, Jing-me was horrible. Neither Jing-me nor Suyuan is completely to blame for the piano recital disaster. It is Suyuan's non-stop nagging and insinuations regarding her daughter's flaws that partially drive Jing-me to refuse to practice seriously.
The pain Jing-me feels after the recital stems not just from her own failure but also from her shame in having disappointed her mother. Suyuan's inflated expectations and excessive pressure backfire, contributing to Jing-me's failure to achieve what she might have achieved if left alone. Yet, at the same time, the disastrous piano recital also testifies to the power of Suyuan's love for Jing-me, and to her faith in her daughter's ability. The endless energy that Suyuan devotes to the search for Jing-me's "inner prodigy"-cleaning for her piano teacher, saving up for a used piano-demonstrates that her motivations probably lie deeper than the promise of bragging rights at church each Sunday. Many years later, Jing-me realizes that Suyuan's attempt to bring out her "prodigy" expressed her deep faith in her daughter's abilities rather than her desire to make her something she was not and perhaps the shame she felt after her recital in fact stems from her guilt in having willed her own failure. Jing-me's story deals with a clash between her mother's faith and belief in persistence versus Jing-me's inner sense of futility.
Jing-me believes that she is simply not "fated" to be a prodigy, that ultimately there resides within her an unchangeable element of mediocrity. When she tells her reflection in the mirror one night that she will not allow her mother to change her, that she will not try to be what she is not, she asserts her will in a strong but negative manner. At that moment, she recalls, she saw the "prodigy side" of herself in the anger and determination that were in her face. This comment suggests that "prodigy" is really one's will, one's desire to succeed. In retrospect, Jing-me feels that perhaps she never gave herself a chance at the piano because she never devoted her will to trying.