Red Flags example essay topic

A Mother's Wish The clouds were clustered over the field suddenly it began to rain, in the background could be heard a thunderous roar. Today a mothers wish would be fulfilled by her two daughter's they would graduate from college. A mother who had spent her life educating her children. Giving them a solid foundation to start their life, among the many who also, shared this. Her dream was to see herdaughters graduate.

She had spent many years encouraging them to continue their education. This would be the greatest gift they would ever give her. Today as she prepared for the grand moments he was overwhelmed with emotion. A mother's love for her children runs deep within her very soul. The hardest thing had been when she helped them move on their own. This had been very stressful since many times she watched them suffer through lives bitter trials.

She never thought herdaughters would be able to face all that life had dealt to them. Everyday for the first year mother always sent food and advice even when it wasn t appreciated. Mothers spent their lives building upon the experiences of their children wisely lookin at everyday trials and tribulations and band-aiding them. Yet, as the years past no band-aid could fix what ail them. They go through so many different stages and each child differs in relationship to how they suffer and triumph through this.

Remember when they were little, so much easier to tend too. As the adolescence stage approached they were still dependent on their parents for guidance. As they arrived into the teen years, they pleaded to be treated as adults and still weep like children. Sometimes I thought someone had switched my children. They begin to like different music and dress more liberal. This is the period when they hate you and nothing you say or do makes any sense to them.

The greatest time of rebellion was when my oldest Nicky decided school was not for her. Everyday she would leave for school and end up hiding behind the house. I found she was afraid of interaction among her peers, she had always been very shy. This shyness was at agonized by her peers who often used it to make her feel she was different. Since, at this age everyone wants to bein the in crowd. For Nicole this wasn t feasible she was shy and extremely sensitive.

How she ever over came that period in her life is still a mystery to me. We spent many nights in analyzing how to make life more meaningful for her. Explaining she was not any different from the other kids her own age. As things seemed to calm down her sister Ellen went into her testing period. By this I mean anything I disagreed to meant she would test me to see how far she could go before I went spastic other.

She spent many nights complaining about her friends and then their was the stealing. I found bags of stolen property under her bed as if she wanted to be caught. Once when she was younger, Ihad taken her to the police station and threatened to have her arrested. This worked, till the recent incident in her early teens. I learned that all teenagers try their luck at stealing, so when you give them five dollars don t expect, them to use itto pay for things. No way, they will steal anything to test how much they can get away with it.

I have heard nightmares from other parents and I know what put my parents through. With this in mind I guess I was pretty lucky. The saddest thing is as parents, we just don t want to let go. We spend so much time making all their decisions that when they stop listening itautomaticly means that their rebelling.

Yet, they only long for their own independence. When we finally realize the fight is useless we accept. In accepting we discover that they really can make their own decisions. I can remember as they became teenagers the fight over what time they had to come home. No matter what time I gave them they would test me by coming home first, ten minutes late, then a half hour and so on... Its really remarkable that I didn t loose it during this period of rebellion.

Somewhere, I guess I still believed they were aliens who had taken over my two daughters minds. I checked carefully to see if they left any chips in their brains. As they enter high school then the real problems come up first, boys, then drinking, staying out late. The worst thing was the language barrier they spoke in a unique monologue only they could decipher. This meant that we would have to learn the language in order to communicate with them. This took many years and lots of note reading and detective work.

As mother's we learn to become the best detectives. Needless, to say are children never appreciate our efforts. The high school years were long and completely drained me. When Nicky decided a week before graduation to quit school, I thought I was going to have a breakdown. With many threats of forcing he rto leave and get a job she resumed her work at school and did graduate. Although, she never attended the ceremony.

For Nicky graduation meant free year off to do absolutely nothing. Well this didn t last I made her enroll in a community college close to home. After three years she had only completed half the work at this rate the idea of her ever graduating seemed unlikely. Ellen was going through her ambitious period and I persuaded her to enroll in post-secondary classes at the community college. This seemed to be a good idea but, when parents seem to anxious about anything good for their children they automatically turn inthe opposite direction. This was the case.

The red flags should come up when a child volunteers toaccept your suggestions. The best thing to do is stay neutral especially when they ask you what college they should attend. Again the red flags should go up. Especially, if they decide to take your advice and later learn they hate it. Parents sometimes ask my advice about their children, Never give advice about somebody else's children.

Since, many times they blame the advice when it is bad on you. In turn you lose anyway you look at it. The best part of them leaving home is the increase in money you save. First, you save with groceries and the biggest difference is in cleaning up after them. The reward is lower electric bills since they think the utilities are free. Yet, whenthey move into their own place the six showers away and every light in the house on suddenly stops abruptly.

They become worst then you about saving money. The long distant phone bills disappear. The house you live in becomes clean and quiet. You pinch yourself at times since, you feel like you must of died and went to heaven. They, say how much happier they are also.

Yet, every opportunity they have their over flopping for hours making messes and eating like garbage disposes. This should alert you to the red flags. When they lose their jobs and cry how they haven t eaten in a week and you find they have money to pay for an expensive haircut at one of the most elite salons. What about when mothers day comes they forget to buy a card since their so poor they need to borrow money from you. Yes, this should signal the red flags when their father fixes their car and when the bill comes due suddenly they disappear like they left the planet.

If this isn t enough they insist you keep them onthe insurance but, when the bill comes due you find that you always get stuck with paying it. Yes, the first year their on their own makes you want to screen your calls and hide your car whenthey come to visit. You hate to lie but, you findit gets easier with each incident. After, that first year they hopefully have learned about responsibility and become productive citizens in society.

Never visit very often since you will be surprised how much of your things area their house. The red flags should come up don t mention this to them because right away they will get overly defensive and remind you that you forgot you lend all these things to them. Now how could you be so forgetful, must be your age? Mother also, love to compare notes with sisters who have children close to the same age. You would be surprised the things you find out about your children. The red flag should come up when you tell family members anything about your children because they hear about it and also added portions you have no idea about.

This is how they protect each other because when it comes back to you the story has been fabricated so much you forget you even mentioned it. This is why you should never say anything about your daughters to anyone. The price is to high when they find out to spilled the beans. They find no humor at all.

Here mothers laughing so hard she wet her pants. Her daughters are so angry they refrain from speaking with you for weeks. The silence actually gives to time to think of more important things. Crit ism is theworst thing a parent can do.

Red Fags should come up! If you compliment them make sure you can defend yourself because if you like the pink dress they suddenly hate it. So use reverse psychology on them tell them you hate the dress when you really like it. Never commit a opinion on their hair or weight.

You can never win this debate. Whatever you say they twist around till their in tears and you stand dumbfounded over what you said. If you volunteer to do something keep in mind that you will probably be doing it all. For example, when they moved from downstairs apartment to up stair. You graciously offered to help and realized that you did it all.

They seem to find many excuses why they can t help at the moment. This leaves you with a sore back for weeks and them with a sucker. I believe after raising my two daughters that when they move out new rules should apply. First, If they lock themself's out of of the apartment more than three times a month.

You such be allowed to mention it to everybody in hopes that embarrassment will make them mad enough to quit doing it. What about laundry they do at home because they get free soap and electricity. Theworst part is they leave it at your house and you end up doing it. Then when a spot appears on a pair of favorite pants they blame you. Insisting you should have to buy them a new pair. At this point if the red flags haven t gone up just bend over and say Kick Me.

Another thing to remember is never lend out appliances to them such as sweepers. They will find uses for that sweeper that would make themanufactuer cry. If you do get it back it will never work the way you remembered it worked. The rules of children when they leave home: First, never offer to help them move. Unless, your willing to do it all. Second. when you lend them things just buy another because when you get it back it won t work.

Third, never compliment or criticize them. The result will cause you much grief. Fourth, if they borrow money be surprised whenthey pay you back. Five, never give advice to them. Six: Take the spare key back so you won t be surprised everytime they fight and end up at your house. Finally, In this great time of transition learn toaccept the fact that children grow up and must learn to take on the responsibilities of life.

My only wish was for their happiness and ultimate success..