Romantic Relationships From Our Adolescent Years example essay topic

When I think of romantic relationship, I think of such movies as Gone with the Wind. To be quite frank I find that to be boring. When thinking of a interpersonal relationship to write about many came to mind. Such has Doctor-Patient, Employer-Employee even Bartender-Customer relationship.

Only one that interested me was Bartender-Customer relationship but unfortunately not enough or any research on been done on this relationship. So I figured I would stay with my group topic; Romantic Relationships. However; I did not want to bore you by reading five of the same papers, so I choose romantic relations among adolescents. Since both of us probably received our first kiss and had our first crush in high school. I thought this would both a fun and interesting topic to write about. In this paper I will write about the attachment and social exchange theory.

I will address the peer and culture affect on adolescent relationships as well as the negative effects of adolescent relationships. We have all had adolescent relationships. Wether it lasted a two days, two months or two years. It is also very unlikely that and adolescent relationship last out of highschool. So many things change as we grow from adolescents to adults. Especially our relationship needs.

However we do learn and grow from romantic relationships from our adolescent years. Why do we want to be relationships. We all want to feel loved by someone special. Romantic relationships begin after puberty. Sexuality is common in all relationships. I am not saying that girls begin romantic relationships when they are eight or nine but rather that is when adolescents begin thinking of romantic relationships, it is just natural.

One study that monitored the daily subjective states of adolescence found that the strongest association between puberty and emotional experience is the specific feeling of being in love. (Furman, Brown and Feiring 1999) To me this means once we hit puberty it is natural for us as it is for animals to want a mate. Puberty is when the development of romantic relationships begin for us all. The first theory I came across during my research was the Attachment Theory.

The Attachment theory is defined as individual form internal working models attachment relationships with parents and long-term and romantic partners over the course of repeated interactions with particular attachment figures. The attachment theory is very important in the development of romantic relationships among adolescents. Parent- child relationship directly effects romantic relationships. An adolescent with a secure attachment history to a primary caretaker may be more likely to approach romantic relationships expecting closeness and intimacy. (Furman, Brown and Feiring 1999) So adolescents with a close relationship their parents tend to high expectations in a relationship.

Fifteen -year-old boys describe the companionship and intimacy provided by dating partners as key benefit to romantic relationships (Feiring, 1996). This is what is normal for them at home. If the parent-child relationship is distant then typically the romantic relationship will be distant. The adolescent might even be timid to begin a relationship.

Research also reports that an adolescent may even be discourage and frustrated by the degree of intimacy involved with a romantic relationship. The adolescence is not used to being so close with another person. It probably confuses the adolescent. Like many ladies say you want a man who is close and treats his mother with respect. Early attachment relationships have been linked to friendships in childhood and adolescence and representations of parent-child relationships have been linked to views of romantic relationships among college students (Furman and Werner, 1997). So parent-child and romantic relationships are linked during our adolescent years according the attachment theory.

In high school we are very influenced by others. Wether it is trying to fit in or being pressured to do drugs. Romantic relationships are also influenced by our peers in high school. An adolescent is strongly influenced to pick a romantic partner that is acceptable to his or her peers. That is probably why it seems like the high school quarterback is always dating the head cheerleader. It would seem that neither the cheerleader or the quarterback would be able to date anyone else without the disapproval of their respected peers.

This may not be the case at every highschool but it does seem to be that way. Studies show that members of male and female cliques eventually lead to "pairing off" of couples. (Connolly and Furman 1996). I found this to be very true at my high school. The male and female cliques hang out at school and parties eventually leading to romantic relationships between members of the cliques. So it would mean that these adolescents were friends before they became romantically involved.

Connolly (1997) found that social support and negative interactions in adolescent close friendships predicted similar quality in romantic relationships on year later. This suggest that friendships provide a basis of intimacy for romantic relationships among friends who took it to the next level. Peer relationships are important to romantic relationships for adolescents. Peers are not he only factor in deciding relationship partners in the adolescent years.

When I was in high I had a friend named Tarek. Tarek never seemed to be interested in girls. One day while talking to him I found out why. Tarek I a Muslim and according to him his parents picked out his romantic partner for him. Although this is not common in the United States, cultures also influence the development for a relationship.

This is most common in Muslim countries. There was not much on this topic but I found it interesting because Tarek is the only person I have ever met that had a marriage arranged. Another theory I came across was the social exchange theory. Romantic relationships, like other relationships contain interactions that reflect the nature and functions of a relationship (Laursen and Jensen 1999). While reading the journal entry I found in the library, I learned that not much research has been done on adolescent romantic relationships. This also is true with the social exchange theory, must theorist studied college students.

However the journal had some information on the social exchange theory dealing with adolescents. Romantic relationships produce exceptional patterns of exchange. Like friendships romantic relationships in their initial stages are communal and voluntary; exchange in these open-fields relationships are designed to minimize threats to mutual benefits (Laursen and Jensen 1999). The longer a relationship goes on the more it is like a closed field relationship. Adolescent relationship are less intima nt and exclusive compared to adult relationships. Romantic interdependence expands from early adolescence to late adolescence.

With age and maturity relationships become more like adult relationships. The social exchange theory says romantic relationships are better in adulthood because of the experience of relationships during our adolescent years. Adolescent relationships do they cause havoc on adolescents? According to my research, yes. A fifteen year old is distressed that "everyone has a boyfriend but me" and broods for hours in her room (Larson and Wood 1999). This girl thinks there is something wrong with her.

The reality is nothing is wrong with her. She just feels the pressure of her peers to have a romantic relationship. Another story depicts a boy so upset at his girlfriend he wants to physically hurt her. Why is a teenage boy even thinking of hurting a girl. Larson and Wood found that adolescents experience a much wider swings of emotions than adults. These emotional swings are directly affected by romantic relationships.

This proves to me that adolescence cannot control their emotions. May be society should put less stress on romantic relationship at a young age. Adolescents spend time thinking about romantic involvement long before they spend time with romantic partners, and negative feelings such as worry, disappointment and jealously are often associated with these thoughts (Arnett 1995). Why are kids getting these feelings before they are even in romantic relationships? This cannot be good for an adolescents. In conclusion I have talked about the attachment theory and social exchange theory.

I have also talked about the peer and culture aspects of a adolescent relationship. I have discussed briefly about the negative effects of a adolescent relationship. Theorist have stayed away from studying romantic relationships in adolescent years. Thus making this a very tough subject to research. I address this topic because it was fun to think about high school and the relationships that came with high school.

High school is the place that prepares people for the real world which includes romantic relationships.