Rubin's African American Participants example essay topic

As we have learned through Skolnick's book, as well as Rubin's research, the make up of the family is influenced by many factors. The economy, culture, education, ethnicity / race, and tradition all help to create the modern family. The last few decades have heavily influenced the family structure, and while some try to preserve the past, others embrace the future. Through it all, we find you can have both. The first part of Rubin's book dealt with "the Invisible Americans". One of the most thought provoking statements from the beginning, states: "Indeed, one of the surprising findings of this study is how much in common all these families have, how much agreement they would find among themselves- even about some of the hottest racial issues of the day- if they could put away the stereotypes and hostilities that separate them and listen to each other talk.

For if we set aside race, there's far more to unite working-class families than there is to divide them". (15) For me, this set the tone for the book. More than once, someone from this study who was of a different culture or race then me, said something I know I had thought or even said before. I found it interesting because with some of them, I thought I was the only one who would feel that way; that it was a problem specific to one group. Rubin's research shows that a lot can happen in just one generation. Much has been spoken lately of what Tom Brokaw has declared "The Greatest Generation"; those who fought in WWII.

These Americans came back from the war, started families, and worked hard to achieve "The All American Dream". But somewhere they must have missed something because this generation is the generation that produced the "pot smoking, free love hippies" who then produced the adults in Rubin's study. What changed so much with a generation that was the epitome of hard work, discipline, and structure? Stephanie Coontz's article, "What We Really Miss about the 1950's" addresses that. The world between 1920-1950 is not what we think.

There was a high murder rate, a substantial divorce rate, and "an older generation of neighbors or relatives who tried to tell them how to run their lives and raise their kids". (Skolnick 33) It's this sense that their children see the world so differently that's so hard for working-class parents. "For it seems to say that now, along with the economic dislocation they suffer, even their children are out of their reach, that they can no longer count on shared values to hold their families together" (47). As is stated in Rubin's study over and over, "People don't know right from wrong anymore" (63).

This was the repeated theme especially with pregnancy outside of marriage. How it was taken care of changed over those generations; from "we had to get married" (45) to raising the child as a single parent, or choosing an alternative: adoption or abortion. And Coontz's article further validates Rubin's study. Coontz states, "It is the belief that the 1950's provided a more family-friendly economic and social environment, and easier climate in which to keep kids on the straight and narrow, and above all, a greater feeling of hope for a family's long-term future, especially for its young" (32-33). She goes on to discuss just to the perceived hopefulness was different from the realistic perceptions of the future we have now. Katherine S. Newman's article, "Family Values against the Odds" does the best job at explaining the very phenomenon we are discussing.

In Newman's article, Latoya and her half-sisters create a close-knit family and turn to each other for support. They don't get the support they need from their parents, so they look elsewhere. The needed support for childcare, along with social events and church makes them close. Another subject in the article, Carmen is a Latina immigrant who longs for a relationship with her mother who is still in the Dominican Republic.

The lack of family structure these two girls desire forces them to look elsewhere. Both girls need to create an environment that others take for granted: a group of people to help raise their children, to count on when things are tough, and provide inspiration to make things better. One key factor for the people of Rubin's study was education. Most of them lacked any education past high school. Our current public education system leaves a lot to be desired. No matter how a school district gets their money, there is always something lacking, especially in rural and inner city school districts.

Even with good teachers who do the best they can with limited resources, if education is not stressed at home, children are not going to feel the necessity to succeed until it is too late. I have a friend who teaches in North Carolina. She has told me about students, who when asked what they are going to do when they get older, matter-of-fact ly state they are going to go on welfare like their mom. Or they will say they are going to go work at the mill. They don't even see any possibilities beyond what their parents have done.

While girls dream of getting married, to find her prince charming, to wear the beautiful dress, to have someone take care of them. "But this is one of the arenas of living where race, not class, determines the hopes and dreams of a people. Few black women, even those who grew up in stable working and middle-class homes, shared the fantasies about their role in marriage that were so common among whites twenty years ago. The black women I spoke with always knew that, married or not, they'd have to work" (56).

But with the changes in economy, and trying to "keep up with the Jones es" this is not so true with women of any race or class. In Newman's article, Latoya can see her way out of poverty with the help of her boyfriend, however she cannot depend on him to do the right thing by his kids. What should be obtainable is not, without the support of a family. Over all, I think the issue is people are looking to the past to justify what they have done. They are seeking reassurance they are making the right decisions, however, there are no absolutes.

And even when they feel there is an absolute to something, society has dictated we need to embrace changes, accept everyone, and do what makes you happy. Unlike those who got married because they had to, there doesn't seem to be many things people are willing to do just because it's the right thing to do or because it's in the best interest of everyone, not just ones self. Part 2 As we all know, the Great Depression and World War II played a heavy hand in the role of women in the workforce. As men left to fight overseas, women had to take over in the factories to produce the materials needed for the war. After the men returned, many women continued working because they liked the freedom it provided and eased the tensions lack of money created. With this a snowball effect was created: women could work and the family could afford the extras they would like: a second car, bigger house, vacations, and the newest gadgets.

But there is always a trade off. Less time spent in the home means men have to help with the house work, (or the woman takes on more), less time with the kids, and a lifestyle more rushed for everyone involved. In Paula Kamen's article, "Modern Marriage: From Meal Ticket to Best Friend", Kamen states that in the past, a marriage was created to be financially supported by a man. In more recent years, the answers had more to do with communication, friendship, and equality (Skolnick 152). Women are looking for a partnership and equality.

And in Kamen's article, religion was a factor when determining defined gender roles. One couple, Leslie and Mark, had plans for Leslie to be a stay at home mom once they had children. Leslie states, "I'm not like an old-fashioned fifties woman or anything. But I believe in women's work and men's work. Taking out the garbage is definitely men's work" (Skolnick 154). Her findings also show that men want to have a larger role in taking care of the children.

However, like Rubin's subjects, they did not want to have a part of the "women's work that involved cleaning. While more white men did share in household work, the Asian and Latino men did not participate as much. "Taking care of the house and kids is my wife's job, that's all", says Joe Gomez (91). Laner and Ventrone's article "Dating Scripts Revisited" supports Kamen's research.

Dating scripts set the tone for married life... to some extent. While you are dating, guidelines are not going to be set up with regards to who does what in the house, whose responsibility it is to pick up the kids, etc. When you are dating, you are putting your best self forward in an attempt to further attract the other person. These things change the further you get into a relationship and more so upon marriage. It has been my experience that more and more women want to become stay at home moms. I hear it more and more these days, and I see more and more women doing it.

They know they have to give up some things, even if their husbands have better jobs, but the trade off of seeing their children grow up, being around to pursue interests, and having the clean house they want is something they would rather do. Part 3 The third section of Rubin's book, in my opinion, held the most relevant information when it came to how our society has been shaped. Rubin states, "The gap between relatively uneducated parents and their highly educated children affects both inter generational and ethnic group solidarity. The more educated the children, the greater the social and intellectual distance from their parents". She goes on to say, "And the more highly they are educated, the higher the probability that they " ll marry outside the ethnic group" (149-150). While education breed's tolerance, the lack of education forces parents to create barriers with their children because they cannot accept their beliefs and the ideas taught in higher education institutions.

Parents want to believe they have taught their children absolute truths, when in fact, they don't. And depending on how deep the roots are, even the most educated people have a hard time accepting relationships there are not consisting of 2 people from the same race. Two personal experiences come to mind. One was where I dated someone of another race, and the mother, who had a doctorate degree, did not like that their child was dating outside their race.

The other was where I was dating someone of the same race, and their parents didn't like the fact that I thought it was ok to date outside my race. This caused tension in their relationships with their parents, and in both situations I merely told the person to "do the right thing". They struggled with it because they knew that while we look to our parents for guidance and support, what they teach us is not always the right thing, and just because it came from our parents does not make it an absolute truth. Rubin's book was published ten years ago. One theme in the chapter 8 was the belief that African-Americans are not as attractive as other ethnic groups.

"Gwen Tomalson, one of Rubin's participants, states, "I was growing up in a world of blond Barbie dolls, so I already knew white was beautiful and black wasn't... I wanted to be white because white people have all the fun". She goes on to say, "But how can you fight it? She (her daughter) gets her ideas about the world from TV, and what's there to make you feel good about being black?" (155-156). Since the publication of this book, I think the African-American population has made some strides in combating this belief. More television shows cater to audiences other then white people.

More African-American athletes and actors do public service announcements to warn children of the dangers of drugs, alcohol, premarital sex, and to encourage participation in activities and pursuing an education. At the same time, I find it extremely sad to see the thoughts of Ann Swollen, a participant in Rubin's study. She states, "I don't think I'm a racist, but I just don't like the way black people look... If a person is black, I'm not attracted to them because they just don't look good to me. You know, sometimes when I see black people, I wonder what it feels like for them. It must be hard.

I can't imagine anyone wanting to be black, can you?" (156-157). I understand that sometimes you may not be attracted to someone because of a physical characteristic, but to feel sorry for them simply because of their color? As stated in earlier sections, the most common family structure in Latino families is one similar to the traditional structure in America. Men are the breadwinners while women stay at home. Reading 29 from Skolnick's book, "Diversity within Latino Families: New Lessons for Family Social Science" by Zinn and Wells refutes that. "Several studies that have explored the intersection of work and family for Latinas have found that Latinas are increasingly likely to be employed".

(Skolnick 399). Zinn and Wells go on to differentiate between Cuban and Mexican women as to why women work, and / or become unemployed. They state Cubans work to temporarily help their husbands start new businesses, and then would quit once their middle-class status was reestablished. On the other hand, Mexican women solely for necessity when their husbands didn't earn enough in dead end jobs or because they didn't have someone to depend on for help (divorce or abandonment). Zinn and Wells do go on to discuss the extended family kinship's that were earlier discussed in Section 1, but with regards to the African-American families.

Also, family relations often became contentious when women pressed partners to share domestic responsibilities (page 405-skol nick). Rubin's research clearly affirms that finding. When talking about his wife, Joe Acosta says, "She's different since she went to work, more independent... We fight a lot more now than we used to" (Rubin 79). This seems to be a general trend for all that have women go into the work force for the long haul. Taylor's article, "Diversity within African American Families" raises an interesting theory with regards to the structure of the African American family.

"It was Frazier's contention that slavery destroyed African familial structures and culture and gave rise to a host of dysfunctional family features that continued to undermine the stability and well-being of African American families well into the 20th century. Foremost among these features was the supposed emergence of the African American "matriarchal" or maternal family system, which weakened the economic position of African American men and their authority in the family... this family form was inherently unstable and produced pathological outcomes in the family unit, including high rates of poverty, illegitimacy, crime, delinquency, and other problems associated with the socialization of children. Frazier concluded that the female-headed family had become a common tradition among large segments of lower-class African American migrants to the North during the early 20th century". (368) In my opinion, the responses given by Rubin's African American participants would not support these findings. George Tomalson, a participant in Rubin's study is an African American male, who has been subject to many downfalls. After losing his job, this gentle man turned bitter, forcing a wedge into his relationship with his wife.

The participants do not state women, of any race, are the reason black men cannot find jobs. I don't think they find a difference in gender, only race. George Tomalson states, "If you " re a black man in this country, you don't have a chance, that's all, not a chance. It's like no matter how hard you try, you " re nothing but trash. I've been looking for work for over two years now, and there's nothing. White people are complaining all the time that black folks are getting a break.

Yeah, well, I don't know who those people are, because it's not me or anybody else I know. People see a black man coming, they run the other way, that's what I know" (236). No one mentioned difficulties in black women finding jobs. One thing I found interesting while reading the Rubin book was that religion was not mentioned anywhere, by the author or the participants, where as several of the articles in Skolnicks' book mention the religious views of their participants, how they shape the family structure, and the influence it has on their children. I believe underlying religious beliefs have a lot to do with the beliefs many of these people feel. From the beginning of time, men have taken care of their wives, and wives were to be submissive to them.

It seems many of the participants had beliefs similar to that, but were not sure of where they came from. The participants's tate "People don't know right from wrong anymore" but where do they get their standards for right and wrong? Even if we just dealt with the three most common religions of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam, each of those have a clearly stated set of rules to follow to govern what is right and what is wrong. One example is the Latino population who is immersed in Roman Catholicism. For those who live in neighborhoods predominantly made of up people of the same race or ethnicity, it plays a huge role in defining the people. The African American population tends to be very involved in church, especially with charismatic backgrounds.

There people are close knit and usually have the same beliefs as Rubin talks about with respect to an Italian family: .".. Nope, I don't think so. It looked good when I was a kid, but even then I didn't like it so much that anybody on the street could act like my father or mother. I mean, once you went out of the house any grown-up had a right to tell you what to do, and if you didn't listen with respect- that's a big Italian thing, respect- you'd get it when you got home. I mean, sure people care about each other, but that's not always so great either. There's no privacy; everybody knows everybody's business.

It's like you can't get away from them; you " re surrounded" (146). Gwen Tomalson, an African-American, says the same thing. .".. You never thought about being afraid to go out on the street; you knew everybody and they knew you... and people looked out for each other.

If you were outside and getting rowdy or something, a neighbor would step in and tell you to behave. And if you didn't do like you were told, they'd tell your parents. It was sort of like having lots of aunts and uncles right there" (Page 154). But Rubin does not make any reference to this at all.

Bibliography

Coontz, Stephanie. "What We Really Miss about the 1950s" Family in Transition.
Ed. Arlene Skolnick and Jermone H. Skolnick: Boston: Pearson Education, Inc., 2003.
31-39 Kamen, Paula. "Modern Marriage: From Meal Ticket to Best Friend" Family in Transition. Ed. Arlene Skolnick and Jermone H. Skolnick: Boston: Pearson Education, Inc., 2003 152-160 Laner, Mary Ridge.
Ventrone, Nicole A. "Dating Scripts Revised" Family in Transition. Ed. Arlene Skolnick and Jermone H. Skolnick: Boston: Pearson Education, Inc., 2003.
143-151 Newman, Katherine S. "Family Values Against the Odds" Family in Transition. Ed. Arlene Skolnick and Jermone H. Skolnick: Boston: Pearson Education, Inc., 2003.
320-334 Rubin, Lillian B. Families on the Fault Line, New York: Harper Collins Publishers, Inc., 1994 Taylor, Ronald L.
Diversity within African American Families" Family in Transition. Ed. Arlene Skolnick and Jermone H. Skolnick: Boston: Pearson Education, Inc., 2003.
365-388 Zinn, Maxine Baca. Wells, Barbara. "Diversity Within Latino families: New Lessons for Family Social Science" Family in Transition. Ed. Arlene Skolnick and Jermone H. Skolnick: Boston: Pearson Education, Inc., 2003.