Situation In An Assertive Manner example essay topic

Management of Change Journal Personal / Interpersonal Change Entry 1: On Thursday night February 10th, I left work at 8: 30 p.m. Earlier that day my boyfriend asked if I had plans to go out that night. At the time I felt tired and I said no. Once I got home my friends called and asked if I would go to Riley's with them and of course I did.

I am the type of person that doesn't go out very often, because I stay so busy with school and by the end of the day I'm usually too tired. I was out having a good time with the girls, when he called and asked where I was. I told him I was at Riley's with some friends; I could tell by the sound of his voice he wasn't happy with the situation. His behavior became aggressive, and because I had been drinking I became defensive.

Some of the friends I went out with that night he seems not to get along with and feels that they have a negative influence on me. The conversation ended with him hanging up on me. We both engaged in aggressive behavior, because we were yelling at each other and said some things that normally would not have been said if we would have dealt with the situation differently. I lost focus of the problem because of anger and neither of us got our point across. I should have called and let him know ahead of time that I was going out with my friends and none of this would have happened. From this situation I have learned to be more considerate towards him with my actions and communicate without saying things out of anger that occur from the situation.

The Material we covered in class relating to aggressive behavior is that we both expressed our feelings in a negative inappropriate fashion. We both also lost the message during expression because we both became angry and the point wasn't conveyed properly. He also wasn't positively influencing my behavior, because I just became angry and defensive with him. He became aggressive when I told him where I was at, and I didn't call before I had went out to Riley's. I became aggressive when he crossed on my side of the invisible net, and said the friends I was with was a negative influence.

I learned that I need to be more responsible with my actions, like calling before I decide to go out and make plans ahead of time. Also instead of raising my tone of voice I should speak more calmly and remain more assertive. Entry 2: Friday afternoon February 11th I was taking a nap around 3: 00 p.m. when my roommate decided to do laundry, knowing that I was sleeping, and because the washer and dryer is in my room, the least to say I wasn't happy about that idea. She bursts into my room; it seemed as if she was trying to wake me up and proceeds to wash her clothes. So I get up and say to her, "Do you need any of your laundry clean before tonight? She said no.

So I told her "Is it ok if I start the laundry for you once I wake up because I am really tired?" We both engaged in assertive behavior, because we both were satisfied with the decision to do the laundry at a later time. Normally I would never have asked her to wait but I had been up late the night before studying for a test. We usually never have problems because we have known each other for so long and know when were pushing each others buttons. We have been best friends since elementary school and now were in college together so were like sisters, when we do have our disagreements their usually settled within the next hour or so. Neither of us imposed on the invisible net and we avoided negative communication. The material we covered in class relating to assertive behavior is that we both expressed our feelings in a positive appropriate fashion.

We both respected each others decisions about doing the laundry at a later time, and we were very effective in influencing each others behavior. I feel that I was in a situation that could have been aggressive, passive or assertive. This situation was easier for me though because my roommate and I are really close and we understand each other on a level like sisters. We were both assertive so the situation was very optimistic. I learned from the situation that being assertive isn't as hard as it seems.

That communication is a whole lot easier when each person has an understanding about each others requests. Entry 3: On Friday February 11th our electric bill came in the mail that morning. My bank account had been over drafted for about two weeks and I had paid most of it on my own but I was still negative about $40. I hadn't planned on telling my mom about the over draft fee, but at this point I really didn't have a choice. When she called she asked if I needed any money to get groceries or if I had any bills to pay. So since she mentioned it I figured it would be a good time to go ahead and tell her the bad news.

So I said; "Mom I think I'll need you to put in more money for an over draft fee". So of coarse she was really angry with me and her first reply was "You " re so irresponsible, if you can't keep up with your bank account any better than that you don't need a checking account!" Then I started to get angry with her response, because she was on my side of the invisible net. I knew if I became aggressive I would regret it later on so I let her continue telling me how she felt while I remained silent. She was engaging in aggressive behavior, which I can understand why because I would be angry too.

So I began to explain to her the situation and I kept my cool, after all it was my fault so I remained assertive and for the rest of the day I didn't call her because I knew it would be an argument. After I let her cool off the next day she wasn't angry with me, so the situation wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The material that we discussed in class relations to the conversation my mom and I had over the phone because she became aggressive by her tone of voice. I think she felt disrespected in a way and she also knew that I knew better than to overdraft. Although I feel that she was still effective in influencing my behavior, but I think that its because I remained assertive. She became aggressive when she began telling me that I didn't need a checking account if I couldn't manage it.

She invaded my side of the invisible net, but I was at fault which I realized and I still remained assertive. Even though she was aggressive I remained assertive and she clearly got her message across, it wasn't hard for me to understand at all. It didn't take us long to clear things up. That night I called her back and everything was fine, I guess that's how mothers are they always love you no matter what you do. Entry 4: Sunday night February 13th, my roommate was in the bathroom and used too much toilet paper and stopped the toilet up.

The toilet over flowed and we had let some friends borrow the plunger in which they never brought back. So we call them to ask them to bring the plunger back. It turns out she is in bed sick with the flu and the rest of her roommates are out of town. So she said she would have them bring it back tomorrow, but we couldn't go without a toilet for that long since we only have one bathroom.

So my roommate being the person to stop the toilet up said she wasn't going over there to get the plunger. Knowing it was her fault in the first place, I got really aggravated with her. I ignored the situation for a while because it really wasn't my responsibility, until I had to use the restroom. So I decided to go over to their house to pick up the plunger and fix the toilet myself. I never said anything to her that night but I should have. I engaged in passive behavior because I didn't express my feelings to her and I went out of my way to fix something I had nothing to do with.

The situation applies to classroom material because my feelings were passive-aggressive and I suppressed my feelings. I also felt angry with her because she didn't take responsibility of her own actions, and I was ineffective in changing her behavior. My roommate didn't take responsibility for what she had done, and when she said she wasn't going over to get the plunger I became passive-aggressive. I felt as if this wasn't the first time something like this had happened. I went ahead and took care of the situation myself because if you want something done right, do it yourself. I have learned that doing things yourself gets the things you want accomplished faster but by doing it yourself, the other person never learns.

So therefore the behavior will continue until that person learns his or her responsibility. Entry 5: On February 17, Thursday afternoon my boyfriend and I had another disagreement. There had been a lot of girls calling and a lot of sketchy stuff happening. I dealt with all of his lies for along time. Until that afternoon I decided it was all coming to an end, I had enough. I tried talking to him about it and telling him that everything that was going on needed to stop, and it never did.

So we had a big argument that day and I said it was over. All of the random phone calls, the late nights and everything had gone too far. We both became very aggressive and said things that weren't necessary. Since that day I have received numerous phone calls from him but I find my self with nothing left to say, it's like I have said everything I have to say and its over. I will always have a place in my heart for him considering everything we had been through. I have figured out that I deserve better than what he has to offer me because with his actions and words nothing adds up.

Ever time I'm around him I become very aggressive with my tone of voice and the things I say. Its not that I mean to hurt him it's almost like I have no control over my attitude and emotions. Its not only me, his attitude is very hostile and were very negative towards each other. I feel that our emotions are kept in a box until it becomes so full we become aggressive towards each other. Neither of us express our emotions in an assertive way like we should, nor do I feel that it will ever change so now is a good time to end this relationship. I feel almost embarrassed to admit I ever dated him because of all the things I hear from our friends I never really knew until now.

Its kind of funny how things work but Radford is only so big. I have been willing to work things out with him and our relationship not only and boyfriend and girlfriend but as friends and it just doesn't seem to happen and I know I can not be friends with him at this point in time, maybe someday though. I don't want things to get worse than they are now so I have cut off all the communication at this point. I feel I am leaving this relationship in an assertive way and I don't feel like I have anything to regret and I'm not holding a grudge against him. My emotions are at a stable point right now even though I don't feel the need to talk to him. The emotions and feelings we possessed related to class material was both aggressive behaviors.

He was very closed and dishonest, both of our personal feelings was expressed in a negative fashion. He felt guilty and defensive towards me for what he had done, and he was ineffective in influencing me differently. He became aggressive when I began to ask him questions about the situation and also when I ask him to be honest with me, his tone of voice would get louder. When I realized he was lying to me is when I became aggressive because I could not get the truth out of him. In conclusion I realized you can not make someone into what or who you want them to be. A person cannot change if they are not willing to change.

Entry 6: I. On Thursday the 17th of February I had a busy day consisting of four classes and work from 5: 00 pm to 8: 00 pm. When I arrived at work one of the girls that was scheduled to work came in and said she was terribly sick, and asked me to work for her. Her shift was from 5: 00 pm to closing which was 10: 00 pm. Without me giving her a definite no or yes that I would stay until closing she just leaves work so I was left to close.

After having plans that night with my friends, everything had to be canceled. I thought that, that was very irresponsible of her and also inconsiderate. Considering that I had plans to be with my friends that night and I wasn't scheduled to work that shift. We never engaged in any type of behavior, but I think I was passive and let the situation slide by to easy.

I told my manager about what had happened and he thanked me for being responsible and staying to cover her shift. I feel that I did the right thing even though I wasn't very happy about her negligent behavior. It shows that I am responsible and even though I had made other plans prior to that, I chose to work her shift so she did not get in trouble. Doing the right thing isn't always the easiest way out because sometimes my behavior becomes passive and sometimes I think I let things slide to much. II.

I feel that my situation at work, relates to class material because I was passive and I felt pity for my co-worker. I also suppressed my feelings towards her without causing any problems.. I feel that I became passive when I heard she had the flu, because I know that if I felt that bad then I would not have wanted to stay at work either. She never really expressed any type of behavior because she left without even telling me she was leaving. IV.

I have learned not to ever do that to a co-worker because they might have plans or maybe the next person might not be responsible enough to cover that shift. It could have caused a lot of problems, even to the extent of losing her job. Entry 7: On Tuesday March 1st around noon today Price Williams came to fill our oil tank, without informing us. The men that filled the tank left our basement door open so after class I went down to shut it. A couple hours later my roommate had asked me what was wrong with the heat. I replied that I had thought they had come to fill the tank so it will probably be an hour or so before it kicks on because that's how long we usually have to wait after they refill the tank.

So I left for class at 1: 30 because I had class from 2: 00 until 4: 45 today, then straight to work at New River Fitness until 8: 00 that night. When I return home I find my roommate in her room covered up in blankets and she has her jacket on, not to mention the house is freezing. So I say "How come it's so cold in here"? She replies I don't know I don't think our heat is working! I asked her if she had tried calling or doing anything about it. Of course she hadn't, so after a long day full of classes and work I have to deal with this, knowing she had been home the entire day.

At this point I was pretty angry inside. So, as I run around searching for some numbers to call to get in touch with someone from Price Williams it's going on 9: 30. Its not that I was mad at her though, I was aggravated at the fact that she didn't have the responsibility to call and inform them of the problem. This isn't the first time an incident like this has occurred either and she acted like she didn't know what to do. I feel that she knows just as much about the situation or more as I do because we have all lived here for 3 years. Sometimes I just don't even know what to say to a person in a situation like that, either you feel sorry for them or you just want to yell at them.

I feel that I was somewhat passive about the situation. I think she knew how I felt about the situation because I was quite and when she would talk to me while I was dealing with the situation I never replied. I should have dealt with the situation better but I was tired and she had made me angry. From this engagement I feel that it relates to classroom material because my feelings were passive-aggressive and I suppressed my feelings. I also felt angry with her because she didn't take responsibility, and I was ineffective in changing her behavior once again.

I became passive aggressive when I arrived home and realized she hadn't done anything about the heat and had been inside the cold house all afternoon. I feel that she has no responsibility when it comes to things like this and I get tired of being her mom. I feel that I have learned that she doesn't understand when it comes to responsibilities like this. I feel that she is the type of person where you have to be direct and straight to the point.

Next time a situation comes up like this I am going to directly point it out to her. Entry 8: On February 25th, I had a Macroeconomics test at 11: 00 am that morning. The night before I had studied for the test for about 4 hours and prior to that I had studied the notes on and off. I knew that it would take some effort so I was determined to get a good grade since it was the first test and I couldn't get off to a bad start.

I got to class that morning and begin to read over the test and my mind went blank it was like I hadn't even studied and I didn't know anything. After a few minutes of sitting in class and trying to remember some of the information, it started to come back to me a little. After the test I was stressed out because I didn't feel that I did very well, considering I was the last one to leave the classroom. I knew deep down that I had put efficient time and effort into studying for the test, I had even met up with my classmate and we had studied together and I felt pretty confident. After the test was over I knew deep down that I did terrible and all that was left to do was wait until I got the results. I was dreading Monday morning class because I knew we would receive our test results, but luckily it had snowed and I had to wait until Wednesday.

Well today is Wednesday and I arrived in class kind of anxious but scared, cause I thought maybe I might have done better than I thought. As he hands out the tests I hear my name look at the test and sure enough it was 15 out of 25. Exactly what I had thought now only thing left to do is talk to him after class. After class I wait until he's packing up his material and approach him in an assertive way.

I asked him how much of a percentage of the grade is this worth, his reply was "20 percent", but there are 3 other tests". So my reply was "so I have some more chances to pull up my grade"? "Yes, you just have to put a little more effort into studying next time". So we both approached it in an assertive way and I received some positive answers that made me feel better about the situation. So it was worth my time to take the time to talk to him about my test grade. I feel this relates to classroom material because I was in self-denial, I didn't want to face the consequences of what I knew was going to be a bad grade.

I was passive in a way trying to avoid the situation but in the end I became assertive by going and asking the professor about my grade and what I could do to improve it. I learned that I need to review the notes more often so I can do better one the next test. I also need to be more assertive during class and study harder. Entry 9: On Tuesday March 1st, I was at New River Fitness working the front desk for part of my internship, when one of my friends was there taking a workout class. After the class she came to the front desk to talk to me for a bit. She set up a tanning appointment and I gave her the key.

While she was tanning my manager asks me I don't think she has paid for this month's membership because we don't have any records of it. I was like oh, well I'm not sure she hasn't mentioned to me about it, and that's something you really don't talk about". I mean we are good friends and everything but I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to her about if she had paid for lasts months' membership or not. I just feel that it is out of my responsibility to ask her or anyone else if they had paid, because I work there to keep track of inventory and employee scheduling not financial responsibilities. So my next reply was, "She's tanning right now I suppose you could ask her when she gets out, I don't feel comfortable approaching her about that kind of thing". So my manager went on about her business and didn't say anything, I finished what I was doing with inventory and it was soon time to leave.

I'm not sure if she addressed her with the situation or not, but I didn't feel that it was my responsibility. If it had been another person that I didn't have a relationship such as friendship I wouldn't have minded doing it but I was put in a difficult situation. I feel that addressing the situation would have made me feel uncomfortable and her too, it might have made her feel embarrassed or maybe she had just forgotten; I'm not sure. I approached the situation in an assertive manner even though I didn't want to ask her I feel that I wasn't rude about it. By approaching it this way I avoided crossing on her side of the invisible net and it could have caused problems with our friendship. I feel that this engagement relates to classroom material because I was assertive to my manager, I expressed my personal feelings in a positive manner; I was open and honest in a clear manner where she understood.

I was upfront with her and I think that she should understand because I clearly got my point across. We both remained assertive which is good because I really didn't want to confront her about anything financially. She understood where I was coming from because she is young also and she wouldn't have wanted to do that either. I learned that being friends with someone and dealing with anything financially is a touchy subject just like religion or politics. It should be dealt with by a manager or employee that knows more about the financial part of the business.

Entry 10: On Sunday, February the 27th I was in Charlotte, North Carolina visiting my sister, her husband and my niece Isabella who is 15 months old. Not to mention she is adorable. I arrived over at their house around 11: 00 that morning and spent the whole day there just hanging out at their house all day. Her husband was gone most of the day running errands so it was just my sister the baby and I home all day. Since I don't get to spend much time with Isabella I was enjoying just playing with her all day.

Babies bring a smile to your face like no one else can, since I had a rough week the week before I really needed that. Around 6: 00 that afternoon he had returned home and was cooking dinner, he asked if I wanted to stay for dinner. I said that I had better leave because I had classes on Monday and I needed to leave soon. Isabella had been running a fever that day so my sister asked me to stay and baby sit while she went to get some baby medicine to bring her fever down. So I said alright that's fine and I would leave when you get back. So while watching the baby my phone rings and it's my boyfriend, we had been having a lot of problems lately and while talking to him it made me sad and I got upset.

After I got off the phone my sister's husband was trying to give me advice about relationships and how he would handle it and in his younger days this is what he did. All the advice he was giving me sounded ridiculous and I didn't agree with anything he was saying considering I really don't like him anyway. Going into this conversation to say the least I wouldn't take anything he says to heart, it just goes in one ear and out the other. As the conversation escalated I found myself becoming aggressive and him telling me to take this advice to heart, I was about to say I'll show you where you can take this advice. I feel that we both became aggressive, but since I was in his house I didn't want to cause any problems.

So once my sister returned I said thanks for the offer for dinner but I'm going to go ahead and leave. I kissed her and the baby and told them I loved them and I left. I feel that I dealt with the situation correctly because he is the type of person that no one can get along with. This engagement relates to material covered in class because aggressive behavior is behavior expressing personal feelings in an inappropriate way where another person feels violated. He did not convey his feelings to me because he did it in a way that I wasn't willing to listen to him and his opinion didn't make any sense at all. I became aggressive when he told me how and what I should do to make my situation better when the advice he was telling me didn't sound very appealing and I didn't agree with it.

He became aggressive when he realized that I wasn't listening to any of the information he was telling me. From this situation I have learned that everyone has a different opinion and each person has a different way of expressing their opinion. Its how their opinion is interpreted by the receiver. I feel that I might need to be more open but I don't agree with certain things he had to say.