Symbolic Of Journey And Self Discovery example essay topic

Ebbing, Flowing, Discovering A ravaged-faced woman crosses decades and water to unveil an image of herself that was previously unrecognized. A fifteen and a half year old girl arises from the depths of her memory, and from the darkness of a troubled past, comes a tale of self-discovery. A story about the Mekong river and its ability to blur all boundaries between the past and the future, the alive and the dead, between existence and non-existence. The brown pinkish hue of the man's fedora emanates over the muddy, misty light on the ferry. A picturesque fifteen and half year old girl wearing the hat, as well as gold lame shoes, stands at the railing. At the time she is oblivious to the significance of this scene.

The very action of crossing the Mekong River seems habitual, although this journey transforms her from an innocent school-girl into a young woman. In retrospect the ravaged-faced woman comments "the photograph could only have been taken if someone could have known in advance how important it was to be in my life, that event, that crossing of the river (pg 10)". For the narrator, crossing the Mekong was not merely a journey from home to school, but rather a journey between a state of existence and non-existence. Her existence as a child is obvious only in the memories of her school and of her friend Helen Lago nelle.

This journey, across the Mekong, seemingly begins from her home in Sadec and ends at her school in Saigon. However, Saigon is not the end of the journey, instead it is only the beginning of a journey that is to change her life "unto death". It is here, on the ferry, that she first sees the long black limousine belonging to the Chinese man. It is this man that allows the narrator to uncover her own reality, and mature from a pubescent teen into a young woman.

This transformation takes place throughout a tumultuous affair with the Chinese man. With each encounter between the narrator and the Chinese man we come to better understand their love affair. We also become aware of the symbolic nature that water plays in the narrator's reflection on these events. Water is used to describe the feelings that come over the two lovers. They experience each other, "nothing's wasted, the waste is covered and all is swept away in the torrent, in the force of desire (pg. 43)".

At the climactic point of this desire "the sea, the immensity, gathering, receding, and returning (pg 43)". The narrator connects the significance of the water in the Mekong to the discovery of the feelings of passion through her choice of descriptive words. The description of making love in regards to water unifies the idea that water is symbolic of journey and self discovery. This journey, unlike most, does not always advance. Sometimes it ebbs, and sometimes it flows. During the passionate moments between the narrator and the Chinese man the journey into adulthood flows, and following the passionate encounter comes the ebb.

The Chinese man will "wash her under the shower, slowly, as she used to wash herself at home at her mother's, with cool water from a jar he keeps specially for her... (pg 91)". It is in these memories that we see the narrator's struggle between her childhood and adulthood. The narrator speaks of herself becoming the child of her lover. Although she is in love with the Chinese man as an object of sex and passion, she also loves him as a father figure. His nurturing and sensitive nature creates an image of men unlike the image that was previously engrained in her mind. He is the very opposite of her father's deception and of her oldest brother's brutality.

With this image comes hope, a re-discovery of the opposite sex. Towards the end of the tumultuous affair the narrator's memories begin to fade and a realization is made that this particular journey is almost over. "Less and less clearly can {the lover} make out the limits of her body; it is not finished; it is without set form, continually coming into being, stretching beyond sight toward risk, death (pg 99)". Images become less clear and the young girl in the fedora hat and gold lame shoes begins to die, and from this death emerges a new creation. A creation different from the first, reluctant and eager to embark on another uncertain journey. "Departures.

They were always the same. Always the first departures over the sea. People have always left the land in the same sorrow and despair, but that never stopped men from going... for the journey's own sake (pg. 108)". To say goodbye to the original journey was arduous, but part of being able to let go came from the beginning of the next journey. As the narrator releases the memories of her first journey, the crossing of the Mekong, the ebbs and flows of passion; she is simultaneously onboard the ship departing for France. At first, being aboard the ship felt like the submergence of her past "Then finally the outline of the ship was swallowed up in the curve of the earth.

On a clear day you could see it slowly sink (pg. 111)". As the pain of letting go began to subside the narrator was able to again open herself up to the new journey. "Sometimes it was so calm, and the weather so fair and mild, that crossing it was like a journey over something other than the sea (pg 112)". The narrator consistently unites her own journey of self-discovery through past and future, life and death, existence and non-existence with both her physical journey over water and the physical characteristics of water itself.

The image of the narrator began on the ferry of the Mekong River, a river that carries her to a new understanding of life. The waters of passion engulf her and bring her to the climactic fervor of adulthood, and in contrast wash these passions away. On the ship, floating across the sea towards France is a new photograph of the fifteen year old girl from Sadec. She is not the image she was, and is not the image she will be.

She is an image, ever-changing, rising and falling with the ebbs and flows of a newly discovered world. .