Tapes In The Hopes example essay topic
For me these tapes represent a spoken diary, they are my inspiration. I like to use these recordings because they are an audio proof that I am indeed alive. They are literal representations of what I used to be, and what I've become. In every tape, I try to list accomplishments. I try to give meaning to my existence.
As I began recording my entry, I paused and realized I simply had nothing to say. I've chosen to review various tapes of myself that I've collected for memories in hopes of finding inspiration. I came across a favourite of mine: my 39th birthday. I still had my hair then. I still had a lot to loose. I watched my hysterical self-weeping into the tape player, admitting defeat over some woman at the punt.
I listened to these tapes in the hopes of remembering forgotten memories, but the truth is that I've re-enacted that moment in my head countless times since. I kept replaying the tape as we might reply such a moment in our minds. Over the years, my voice is the only thing that changed. Sitting alone in my dusty den on my 69th birthday, it dawned on me that I have neve loved or been loved in my pitiful life. The desire of companionship is what I really need, that's why I know I want all the years back whose records I've been listening to. At each stage I see the fool that I was.
"It was hopeless and no good going on (p. 195) then I end up with my "face in her breast" (p. 196). I disagree with what I did, which was giving up on love so fast. I wasn't able to control her, that's why I left her. One of my biggest mistakes in life is that I focused too much on the past and never looked at my current situation, which explains why I'm still alone.