Terri's Idea Of Real Love example essay topic

After analyzing Raymond Carver's "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love", it is easy to see that there are several different ideas concerning true love that the characters in the story are in dispute over. Terri's idea of real love is the most valid out of the group at the table. All of the members of the group are rather confused as to what real love is. Terri is included as one of the confused. However, I believe that she is the closest to understanding what love is. A key piece of evidence demonstrating her understanding of love is her remark to Laura and Nick.

She scolds the couple for basing their relationship on physical aspects, rather than emotion or passion. Terri, like the rest of the party, is on her second marriage. Her first husband was an abusive man that beat her, and even dragged her by her ankles around their living room. Terri's current husband, Mel, is a cardiologist that believes in spiritual love, and that between spouses, people are barren and hollow inside, and that he could be married to any other empty person without difference. Mel is rather shielded from emotion between spouses. His only real love lies with his children, unfortunately Mel allows his conflict with his ex wife to block him from calling his them.

Terri does love Mel, but she reminisces about her time with Ed. Terri realizes that Ed was full of emotion, and that he was just befuddled and chaotic in his methods of sharing his feelings. This explains his violent behavior and possibly his suicide. During the argument concerning Ed's actions, Terri mentions that Ed "loved her in his own way". It is my opinion that throughout Terri's experiences with different husbands, she sees that while Ed was abusive, he had passion. Mel on the other hand, is not passionate.

It seems as though Terri favored marriage with Ed over marriage with Mel. In Raymond Carver's story "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love", there is a wide array of opinions concerning the true definition of love. I believe that the character with the most absurd idea of love is Mel. Mel is Terri's second husband. He claims to only believe in spiritual love.

In his past, Mel spent "five years in seminary". This is obviously what he bases his idea upon. Mel declares that if he could go back in time, he would enjoy being a knight in armor to shield him from other people. This reveals to me that Mel is emotionally closed off and concealed from other people. Furthermore, as seen through his wife, Terri, Mel does not have the passion inside him that is necessary to experience love.

The only love that Mel does experience is the love toward his children, but that is love in a different sense. Loving his children is a natural instinct. They are born into his care, and are made with his own blood. His love for them was not searched for. It just came to be when they were born. Mel's relationship with Terri, or any other women that he may have encountered in the past is distant and indifferent as to who they are inside.

Mel's ideas toward love are absolutely foolish and senseless. Raymond Carver authored a story titled "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love". The characters in the story are sitting around a table drinking gin and discussing what their opinions are about real love. All of these people seem to have a distorted view about what love is. Moreover, each one of their opinions seems to conflict with the others. I believe that Carver includes these conflicting ideas of love to illustrate to his readers a sense of urgency in finding a path in life.

Carver shows through his characters that life is too short to spend any portion of it moving in the wrong direction. All four people at the table have been living their lives under different creeds concerning love. And all four have been living in a motionless fashion. For example, Nick and Laura both believe in physical love. Terri points out that their physical attraction will die with time.

Also, Mel puts up a wall around his emotions toward people and seals himself off. He only believes in spiritual love. Poor Terri is married to Mel. She is just going down with the ship. Additionally, all four have been married once before. Obviously their ideas of love have already failed them at least once.

At the end of the story, they all realize that they have been living either motionless, or simply just moving backwards. I think that Raymond Carver wants these fictitious characters to be an example for people to compare themselves to. Hopefully Carver's story can help people move their lives in the right direction.