Their Own Spirituality And Meaning In Life example essay topic
Is it possible to use a school of psychology to enhance the spiritual life of a person? By analyzing one school of psychology (Rational Emotive Therapy) and by focusing on how it can keep one from focusing on negative and selfish thoughts / acts, how it can make one focus on the things that matter most in life, and how it can help one in spreading a positive way of living, we will see that it is possible for RET to enhance our spirituality. However, we must first learn what RET is all about. Rational Emotive Therapy is amazingly simple. All it entails is for an individual to perform self analysis on their way of thinking and to eliminate all the grandiose words from their vocabulary. By taking the musts, always, nevers, and everyone's from our vocabulary, and by replacing them with desire, prefer, and hope, we are more likely to understand that many of our problems and barriers are self made.
Instead of viewing each problem in our lives as the end of the world, using RET allows us to step back from the situation and to take a realistic view at the situation. By mapping out the circumstance at hand (A), the emotions we are feeling (C), why we are feeling this way (B), the emotions we wish to feel (E), and by debating rationally why the situation is not as bad as it may seem (D), we prevent ourselves from overreacting and from holding ourselves back. RET allows us to accept that we are fallible human beings and we are allowed to make mistakes. What is prevents us from doing is lingering on those mistakes too long and from using them as excuses for not achieving our goals. It allows us to reward ourselves because of who we truly are, not by what we do or who others may think we are.
RET encourages straight thinking and rational living, two things that, by doing careful self analysis, can be amazingly simple. There is not one person alive who has not encountered a less than desirable situation in life. Nobody is flawless and everyone has made at least one mistake that they wish they could take back. However, a problem many encounter is they worsen these mistakes by lingering on them instead of learning from them. They worry that others may see them as less than they really are and that they are inadequate because they are not perfect. Albert Ellis, the creator of RET, says people, "upset themselves about their seriousness upset ness.
In fact, they may have biological tendencies that encourage them to make a 'magical'... jump from 'I badly failed' to 'I am a failure-a bad person!'". This type of thinking is both negative and selfish, putting everyone's focus on them and their problems. What the individual does not understand is that to the rest of the world, their problem is no more important than anything else going on in their own lives. By using RET, by stepping back from the situation and viewing it rationally, the individual can see the problem for what it really is: a minor issue.
"Most people consume so much time and energy trying to do the impossible-namely, to change and control the actions of others-that they wrongly believe that they cannot do a normally possible thing-change or control their own thoughts and acts". Instead of building upon the anxiety that one may have, they can come to terms with their emotions and to relax their way of approaching life. Furthermore, RET prevents one from blaming others for their unhappiness and depression. Often, when an individual perceives others as the result of their problems, they become hostile towards them and carry hatred in their hearts. "If you roundly condemn others for what you consider wrong behavior you will tend to turn your blaming standards on yourself and end up with considerable self-loathing. Lack of forgiveness toward others breeds lack of self-forgiveness, with consequent perfectionist attitudes toward your own failings and in competencies.
To devalue others because they have made some serious mistakes helps you devalue the whole human race, including your own humanity". By discontinuing this negative way of living, we open ourselves up to the act of forgiveness. We become less focused on ourselves and what is wrong in our own lives, allowing us to take this newfound way of thinking and to better understand that there is more in the world to with which to devote your time. Using RET to better focus your energy and time can only enhance your spirituality.
By not stressing over your problems and worrying about what others think about you, you can centralize your time and search for deeper meanings in your life. "As Viktor Frankl and many other existentialists point out, humans are usually healthier and happier when they have a central meaning or purpose in their life. Religion or spirituality may offer such a basic meaning or purpose."Today, many advocates of what is 'spiritual' are endorsing the idea that people should preferably put a 'real meaning' in their lives, such as devoting themselves to 'unselfish's o cial interests, ... such as rearing a family. This process of acquiring a he artful meaning and purpose in life and devoting themselves to community and social rather than purely individualistic interests may be exceptionally helpful... to the people with whom they live and to the human race as a whole". By refusing to let our problems linger by using RET, one is given the opportunity to search for a deeper meaning and to devote themselves to the more important things in life. Finally, once one has begun to rationally live their life through RET and by focusing on things that can better enhance their own spirituality and meaning in life, they can spread this positive way of living to those around them.
Your relationships with others will improve by taking this approach towards them and they may learn from your actions. When people view others as the cause of their problems, it causes one to treat them poorly and to hold a grudge against them. "It does immense hard to human relationships, leads to enormous inefficiency, and help bring on a host of physical ills that a figuratively, and even literally, deadly. However, with Rational Emotive Therapy, one begins to take responsibility for their own actions and to not hold others responsible for their shortcomings. Instead, when someone acts or says something that causes you to have negative feelings, take time rationalize your feelings and to understand that many things may have contributed to these feelings.
Perhaps their actions were misunderstood or they words were taken out of context. Even if what they did was done in a negative way, it's important to not forget that "when someone treats you 'unfairly', you can bring on highly useful, healthy, and appropriate feelings at their behavior without damning them for this behavior". In using RET, your emotions remain in check and you can focus on having a calmer way of living, a deeper meaning. You can rationally talk to the individual in question and act out your newfound way of living.
Nobody is perfect and they may be making mistakes as well, only making it worse by carrying a grudge with someone. RET allows one to resist putting unnecessary strains on their relationships and this further allows them to focus more on the important aspects of life, such as family, friendship, God, and strengthening their spirituality. Instead of causing oneself stress on things that are out of their control or that happened in the past, their life becomes much more meaningful and complete. Rational Emotive Therapy is, like stated early, amazingly simple.
At its core, there exists one rule: rational thinking. It requires time and patience in that one must focus their energy on stepping back from a situation and giving serious thought to what is actually going on instead of what is occurring in one's mind. This is not always easy, but it is quite simple. When this is accomplished, a number of aspects in life become easier in the process.
Instead of trying to do the impossible, which is change how others may feel, one can change how they react to other's feelings. Look at the silver lining of a situation and try to improve the things that are within ones control. This way of thinking allows one appreciate the gifts that they possess and how to better utilize them. Other people become less of a factor in one's unhappiness or emotions, making one in control of their own life and destiny. These results in the ridding of unnecessary quarrels and grudges that exist between those that one feels had wronged them. Therefore, their time is not consumed with negative emotions and thoughts.
Instead, one can focus on the deeper meaning of their lives and how to improve it. They can become more comfortable with themselves and experience an inner calm and peace. They strengthen their spirituality and the way they go about their lives. They believe in themselves to make the world a better place. In hindsight, it really is amazingly simple.
Bibliography
1. Brute, Paschal. Theological Library. Lexington, KY. Jan 952. Ellis, Albert. Better, Deeper, and More Enduring Brief Therapy. Brunner / Mazel. New York. 19963.
Ellis, Albert and Harper, Robert. A New Guide to Rational Living. Prentice-Hall Inc. New Jersey. 1961.