Their Parent's Attitude Toward Divorce example essay topic

... n the children are fully grown -- that I can finally see the whole picture. Divorce is a life-transforming experience. After divorce, childhood is different. Adolescence is different. In my research, children from divorced homes, tended to have poor student outcomes (i. e., lower academic performance, weaker self esteem, and increased behavioral problems), depression, anxiety, and social detachment even before divorce occurs. Specifically, adolescents from pre-disrupted families have poorer performance in every area of well-being (2000, pp. 475-490).

It is apparent that a large number of children who come through the experience of divorce later become capable and stable adults, but it is also becoming more and more evident that many children of divorce are at threat for developing damaging behaviors, personality disorders, and disruptive lifestyles. Increasing evidence in social science journals makes obvious that the devastating physical and emotional effects that divorce is having on children will last well into their adulthood. Along with these damaging effects are the following according to social scientists for the Heritage Foundation of Family, Patrick F. Fagan and Robert Rector: o Children whose parents have divorced are increasingly the victims of abuse. They exhibit more health, behavioral, and emotional problems; are involved more frequently in crime and drug abuse; and have higher rates of suicide. o Children of divorced parents perform more poorly in reading, spelling, and math. They are also more likely to repeat a grade and to have higher drop-out rates and lower rates of college graduation. o Families with children that were not poor before the divorce see their income drop as much as 50 percent. Almost 50 percent of the parents with children that are going through a divorce move into poverty after the divorce. o Religious worship, which has been linked to better health, longer marriages, and better family life drops after the parents divorce. o The divorce of parents, even if it is amicable, tears apart the fundamental unit of American society.

Today, according to the Federal Reserve Board's 1995 Survey of Consumer Finance, only 42 percent of children aged 14-18 live in a "first marriage" family-an intact two-parent family. "It should be no surprise to find that divorce is having such effects on society". (web). Recent research shows that a majority of children from a divorced family do not display the problems we just talked about openly, and these problems cannot be outwardly noticed or measured. Sometimes children can suffer emotional problems that go unnoticed because of the lack of display (Layman-Billings and Emery 2000, pp. 680-687). Not all children are the same.

Some of the variables in the adjustment of children to parental divorce are (1) age of child at divorce, (2) amount of conflict in the marriage, (3) access to both parents after the divorce, (4) adjustment to a step-parent, if there is one and (5) access to other nurturing adults during the childhood years (Wagner, Johnson, Van dell, Burroughs 1997, p. 85). These elements can play a huge part in the severity of the effects that a child will feel. Their research has also shown that children who go through a divorce will more than likely; experience negative consequences and the outcomes for all individual children will offer a wide range of end results. The aftermath of a divorce can even affect a child's intimate relationships down the road, for instance marriage and dating. Children often hold on to their parent's attitude toward divorce when the children are in their late teens during the time of their parents divorce. Also, children who are very young but also very religious also seem to hold on to their parents attitudes toward divorce.

The children's characteristics and relationship experiences are related to their attitude toward divorce. Having divorced parents was very much so associated with significantly more relationship disruptions in the children's intimate lives, but it didn't seem to affect the children's martial status. Thankfully relationship of marriage in a child's own life seems to remain intact, even through parental divorce (Ka pinus 2004, pp. 112-135). In a study done by Judson T. Landis, 295 university aged students whose parents divorced before they were 16 years old were asked whether or not their parents divorce had an impact on how they viewed marriage. 67.5 percent said that it has made them more cautious about marriage, 60.0 percent said they were determined to make a better choice when it came to a spouse, 76.9 percent said that it has made them more aware of the problems of marriage, 53.9 percent said it gave them a more realistic picture of marriage (but how accurate is that picture? ), and 76.6 percent said that they were more determined to work at having a successful marriage.

Thankfully only 1.7 percent said that they were bitter about marriage and 1.0 percent said that they never wanted to get married (1960, p. 11). Those numbers may give hope to those parents who may think they have ruined their child's relationships for life, due to the optimistic nature of its statistics. If you finish reading this study, however, you will find that the overall consequences of divorce on these 295 students were more negative than positive. Divorce definitely affects children, but it also affects the parents as well. Is there something to help the parents? What if there was a medication on the market that made you live longer, be happier, be more satisfied with your life and feel more complete?

Do you think it would sell very well? One would think it would be a best seller. What if you found out that medication was marriage? Men and women who are married actually have a better general sense of well being compared to others who are not. Studies have shown over decades that married people are healthier (physically and mentally); they live longer, enjoy life and believe it is more fulfilled, and they seem to take better care of themselves as well as their spouse (Stanton 1997, p. 73). But does one see this type of information presented when the topic of family arises in popular debates?

No. Marriage seems to be a best kept secret; it is more than a legally binding piece of paper between two people. Divorce seems to be the nemesis to a happy and fulfilled life. According to the National Survey of Families and Households, 86 percent of married couples who stick it out through the hard times found that five years later, they had a better marriage than ever, that they are happier in their life than they have ever been, they feel better and they are grateful that they did not make a poor decision (web exact reference needed). Despite this good news, couples are still divorcing and families are being torn apart. Everyone goes through a divorce differently, but there is no doubt that divorce is hard for everyone involved.

The people who suffer the most are always the children. They are the future and they need to reach their full potential. By making good decisions, we can raise them to far exceed their full potential. By being educated on divorce we make better decisions about marital problems.

Hopefully people will think twice about the future effects for them and their family before they ask for a divorce. Remember, a divorce affects everyone involved, and those affects are almost always negative.