Things From The Other Person's Point example essay topic

"The more you get out of this book, the more you " ll get out of life". This is the claim that Dale Carnegie makes in reference to his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Carnegie proposes that there are four main ideas that one should use when dealing with people: 1) Know how to handle people, 2) Make people like you, 3) Win people to their way of thinking, and 4) Be a leader. These skills are essential not only in being a good manager, but also in dealing with people in day to day life. 1) Fundamental Techniques in Handling People The first thing one must know when handling people is "don't criticize, condemn, or complain". When you criticize someone, you put yourself at a level above them.

Even if you get your point across, the only thing that will come of the situation is that the other person will have a feeling of remorse and you will have bruised their self-esteem. Often times I've been involved in group projects in school where I have been paired up with people who have a very different method of doing things. I tend to think that my way of doing things is the most efficient; however I don't shoot down the ideas of others. Rather, I try to understand where they were coming from and find a way work together. This is exactly the point that Carnegie is trying to get across. The next tip is "give honest and sincere appreciation".

A recurring theme in this book, is that people want to feel like they are important. There is a driver forcing you to do everything in life. For example, as a chairperson of the Business Week publicity committee, I am working hard to promote the Business Week activities and increase attendance using creative tactics. When people show up to events because of a promotion I created, it makes me feel important and gives me a sense of fulfillment. Such is the case when dealing with others. If they know they are appreciated, they will feel important and will continue doing a good job in the future.

And finally, "arouse in the other person an eager want". Find what it is that gives a person their sense of importance. And utilize that knowledge to drive them to want to do their job to the best of their ability. When I in high school, I used to baby-sit children.

Often the most difficult part of the evening was getting the kids to go to bed. So I'd tell them that we were going to play a game that whoever brushed their teeth and put their pajamas on the fastest would win. The kids were more than happy to partake. By creating a situation where the children wanted to go to bed, both of us were happy. 2) Six Ways to Make People Like You The first step in making people like you is to "become genuinely interested in other people", and "talk in terms of the other person's interests". This is a technique that I have found myself using during the interview process for summer internships.

I research a company before the interview so that I have a better understanding of it and can ask educated questions about the company. Recruiters are impressed with students who are truly interested in the opportunities their companies provide, and they appreciate it when they can tell that effort has been made to research their company. The next step is "smile". I actually tried doing this more often after reading the book.

I smiled at every person I walked by on my way home from class one day. I received a few confused looks of "do I know you?" But for the most part, people greeted me with a smile in return. I'm not ashamed to say, it made my day. Also, "remember that a person's name is the sweetest and most important sound in any language". This is an area that I know I could use improvement on. I am not good with names at all, but I can honestly say that I am making an honest effort to get better at it by repeating a person's name in my head when I meet them and associating that name with some quality about them.

I know that I definitely appreciate it when a person can call me by my name. I suppose it somewhat relates back to that "feeling of importance" you get when a person remembers you. Another very important tip is to "be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves". This is a lesson I learned after coming back from studying abroad.

I had so many stories to tell and I wanted to show EVERYONE my pictures. But I had forgotten that they all had their stories too and didn't necessarily want listen to me ramble on about my adventures in Spain for hours and hours. Luckily, I have a great group of friends who didn't mind hearing my tales, and expressed a genuine interest in what I had to say. It made me appreciate what great friends I have.

Which brings me to Carnegie's final principle, "make the other person feel important, and to it sincerely". 3) How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking First of all, "the only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it". This relates back to the concept of not criticizing or condemning people. No good can come of an argument, all that will follow is one or both of the parties involved leaving with remorse and ill will. After living with three people in a small apartment this year, I have mastered the art of avoiding confrontation.

We decided right away to split up the chores (garbage, dishes, vacuuming, etc... ) so that nobody can point fingers at each other if something doesn't get done. We all know our roll. This leads into two more of Carnegie's principles: "Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view". Also, "be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires".

If there is some reason that one of my roommates hasn't done her chore, instead of jumping on them and getting upset about it, I stop myself and think about how busy they " ve been, or how we " re out of garbage bags, or how I've neglected to do my chore in the past. This leads to understanding and disseminates any conflict that might normally arise without said understanding. Always remember to "show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say 'You " re wrong. ' " By disregarding what others think and putting them down, you " re only stirring up negative feelings. It doesn't do any harm to hear people out, even when you feel that your idea is better than their, because sometimes they might just be right.

"If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically". It is always a good idea to "begin in a friendly way". The only way to gain respect from people so that they will listen to your ideas is to start off on the right foot. When I have a problem with the way something is being handled, I don't just go and start complaining about right away.

Rather, I'd calmly explain my problem so that the other party so that they are more inclined to want to cooperate with me. To start of, "get the other person saying 'yes, yes' immediately". When I worked as a telemarketer for the University of Minnesota's Alumni Foundation, I had to try to talk people into donating money to the school. People won't donate unless they perceive some sort of benefit for themselves. So for example, I might ask them what their best memory of college was, where they used to hang out, did they have an internship?

I would "let the other person do a great deal of the talking". They would love to tell me all their fun college memories. This got them on the track of thinking positive "yes" thoughts about their experience with the University. By the time I got to the point where I told them that tuition is higher than ever and students are struggling to get through, they were often times more than willing to help out by donating to scholarship funds.

Another tip that Carnegie presents is that if a good idea comes up, "let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers". If others feel as though they are contributing ideas and importance to a project or activity, they will be more inclined to work harder in the future. To get your point across, "dramatize your ideas". This is one thing that I've begun to do a lot more in interviews.

When I have strong emotions about something I use more dramatic body language and action words that catch attention and really help portray my enthusiasm for the things that I do. There's a difference between saying you " re excited about something, and actually showing your excitement. This is true when trying to get other points through to people as well. Finally, to get people motivated to act on your ideas, "throw down a challenge".

Humans are competitive by nature. Therefore, if they are presented with a challenge they will be more likely to work hard to achieve it. This relates again to the baby-sitting example I referenced earlier in the paper. I challenged the children to get ready for bed. It was not something they would normally have wanted to do, but the challenge gave them motivation to do their best. 4) Be a Leader: How to Change People without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment As a leader, it's important to let people know that you respect them.

There are a few key ways to do this. "Begin with praise and honest appreciation". When I played volleyball in high school, I was the setter. This is basically the quarterback of the team.

It is my responsibility to put the ball in position for our hitters to spike the ball and ultimately score points. We had a rule on the court that after every volley, we had to make a point to tell at least one person something good that they did, whether it be, "nice serve" or "great dig". When my teammates got compliments, they felt appreciated and it greatly improved our overall mood on the court. Also "call attention to people's mistakes indirectly", and "let the other person save face". Hitters rely heavily on their mental aspect of the game. If they have a few errors in a row, chances are they will get frustrated and keep making errors.

A coach once told me that no matter how perfect my set to a hitter is, if they make an error, I should always say "sorry, that was a bad set, my fault". Even if I know that it was not at all my fault, it will help the hitter get back into the right state of the mind to help the team score points. Another piece of Carnegie's advice is to "make the fault seem easy to correct". After we had given away a few points in a match, I would encourage my teammates by saying, "all we need is to get the ball back and have one good play and we " ll be tied up again". This is often easier said than done, but at least it made the task seem like it wouldn't be so hard to overcome.

To encourage others, "praise the slightest improvement" and be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise". The day after a volleyball game, I would make sure to tell each and every one of my players something that they did well the night before. For example, "wow, you were on fire with those serves last night!" I'd even attempt to say it in front of their friends because I know that it'd mean a lot more to them if others were made aware of their accomplishments. It is also important to let people learn from their mistakes. One way to do this is to "talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person". Towards the end of my high school volleyball career, it was time to spread my wisdom on to the next up and coming setter.

When I noticed that she was having trouble with something, I would say to her something along the lines of, "you know, I'd never used to be able to make our plays work, but when I called the play before the volley starts, it made it a lot easier". Another tip is to "ask questions instead of giving direct orders". One time I noticed that our new setter was not meshing well at all with one of our better hitters. I knew that it was because the hitter was very picky about how high she preferred her sets, and the setter was unaware of this. Instead of just saying, "you need to set the ball higher", I said, "have you gotten a chance to talk to some of the hitters about how they prefer their sets, because I know you realize that every hitter is different, right?" After taking my advice, the new setter greatly improved. Those who enjoy what they do will work harder, take pride in their task, and in turn they will do a better job.

"Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to". As a waitress, customers would sometimes complain about the speed of the service. Although this was often times the fault of the cooks, it reflected poorly on me to the customers. I couldn't find a tactful way to tell the cooks to hurry up, so I took a different approach. One day, there was a new waitress on duty and I noticed a cook made an order especially fast. I made the comment both to the cook and the new waitress at what a great job this cook does and how you can always count on him to get orders out fast.

From then on he took pride in being the "fast cook", even though that had not always been the case before. I learned a lot about myself from this book. I realized that I already incorporate a number of the principles that Carnegie preaches. I also picked up some valuable information that I know I will be able to use in the future. I feel that this book is a great learning tool and helps to cover things that students don't necessarily learn in the classroom.

In fact, I have already recommended it to a number of my friends.