Third Roadblock To Relationships example essay topic

Relationship Roadblocks The first major topic the text brings forward in chapter 6 is the concept of relationship roadblocks. As the name implies these seven categories act as the downfalls to relationships. The concepts cover a wide range of types of problems from being tongue tied to giving up too much of your self to have a relationship. These concepts also happen at many different stages in relationship development however they primarily occur during the beginning or pre-relationship period. The first roadblock to a relation ship is high expectations. This concept describes how pop culture; media and even friends relationships can make us want to have the perfect relationship when that perfect relation ship does not exist.

I do want the perfect relationship but do realize that in order to achieve this takes much effort on both persons part. The second is holding the believe that a relationship should be easy. This makes the claim that because people communicate everyday that communicating in a relationship should be very easy. I do fall victim to this roadblock. I like to enjoy relationships and all the fun and happiness that go along with them however I do not like to deal with the inevitable problems that come up with them. Fear of failure is the third roadblock to relationships.

This is when people are scared to get into a relationship. I do not suffer from this roadblock. I believe that if you don't try and fail sometimes you have zero chance of trying and succeeding. The forth roadblock states that If I just relax, a good relationship will find me.

This states that people expect friendships and relationships will just appear and present themselves in front of you. This philosophy believes that if you put forth effort to find someone you won't find them. This makes no sense to me finding a good relationship The bozo pill is the ultimate mistake when trying to start a relationship. This is when you see an attractive person and your mind goes to mush. You can't discern words, even your own name to say them. The bozos could also be tripping or running into something.

Generally the bozos is embarrassing yourself during the first impression and ruining any chances you had for beginning a friendship. The most important point is that the first impression is unforgiving you need to try to be smooth. The book makes the point that this happens to every one at some time. If becoming tongue-tied and saying very little counts as the bozo effect it happens to me more times than I would like to admit. Its got to happen now is the pressure you feel to be in a relationship all the time. This roadblock means to me trying to have your cake and eat it to with relationships.

These people want every great thing from a relationship instantly these are the people that say I love you one month into a relationship. They try to pressure things to progress at a pace that is unhealthy and unnatural for relationships. I think I am guilty of the opposite of this I like for relationships to progress at their own pace and perhaps even slower and when they reach a certain level of discloser I tend to hit the breaks and hold relationships back as long as I can. The final roadblock to a relationship having to give up too much just to have a dating relationship.

This happens to women more often to men. Women tend to compromise themselves to start a relationship. They feel a pressure to fulfill an old social mold that in order to be successful women they must be in a relationship. Some of these molds do apply to me and I see them applying to others I know. The most important thing to take away from the roadblock concept is to recognize the roadblocks when they happen to you.

By recognizing the ones we use often we can begin to make an effort to have them occur in our relationships.

Bibliography

Ivy, D.K., & Black lund, P. (2000). Exploring Gender Speak: Personal Effectiveness in Gender Communication 2nd Ed. Boston, MAS: McGraw Hill..