Traditional Arranged Marriage example essay topic

Arranged For Better or Worse Everyone knows how hard it is to find a mate for marriage. Having said that, each person is free to decide how the mate selection will take place. Some people would rather conduct this selection by themselves, without any help, while others prefer to get help from an outside source, like their parents or a matchmaker. Before continuing it is wise to make a distinction between the traditional arranged marriage and the modern definition of an arranged marriage. The arranged marriages that happen by tradition in parts of Africa, most of Asia and a good portion of Eastern Europe are determined by the parents without the consent of the future couple. The modern view is very different from traditional view.

Today's definition makes a distinct emphasis on choice, courtship and convenience. In most instances it is a service, provided by an agency, or a good friend. The purpose is to find a compatible mate, with the greatest number of similarities and the same primary objective: marriage. It is clear that the concept itself is controversial.

Some people find it awkward and insensible to choose your lifelong partner using this method. Most young people tend to believe that the only way to choose a mate is to date until you fall in love plan a wedding and get married. This point of view is not very realistic if we define marriage as a lifelong commitment. If the young marriage is based on love alone the soon to be adults may grow together based on other similarities or goals they have identified, or may grow apart because they have found nothing else to keep them together.

It is safe to say that you will have better chances for success in this commitment if you have countless qualities in common with your future partner. The traditional arranged marriage is a contract between families, but not between individuals. The man's parents investigate the girl's family background before initiating the talks between the elders in the families. They want to ascertain that the girl's family is of the same class, is of comparable financial situation, is of good reputation among the class elders, and has no hereditary diseases. If the man's parents, especially his mother, are satisfied, a mutual friend who may be a relative to the girl's family is assigned the difficult task of revealing this interest to the girl's parents.

The parents of both the man and the girl begin to communicate directly and a meeting is set up at the girl's house for the man's family actually to see the girl. The families employ careful considerations before this visit, chiefly the compatibility of the other family with theirs. This compatibility requires the willingness of the girl to conform to the man's family pattern of living. She is a stranger in their family's household and shall adopt their ideals, obey her mother-in-law, serve her and conform to her expectations. The visit is filled with phony exchanges of pleasantries and uninteresting conversations on varied topics with each topic being initiated by the go-between whenever he senses an embarrassing silence. This exchange continues until the girl presents herself in her neatest traditional outfits carrying a plate full of sweets, which is probably the only sweetest thing in that room apart from the remotely possible love-at-first-sight kindled between the man and the girl.

If the parents like each other and if the man and girl are attracted to one another or at least if the man likes the girl, the parents will finalize the dates for engagement and for marriage. The arranged marriage tends to be patriarchal in power structure: the wife is vested with the responsibilities of children and home, and the husband is responsible for providing and protecting. The husband is generally chivalrous and courtship begins after the marriage. If we believe that the bonding between couples increases when they have children, then arranged marriage couples are more likely to score a point here.

Since such marriages are arranged by parents, the girl is still a stranger in her new house. Also, the child's cry is usually in order, according to birth and sex. The structural features and split of roles of the husband and the wife give certain advantages in traditional arranged marriages, compared to the more modern version. The man being the head of the family and the woman being the caring wife and mother annuls the possibility of a separation. The relationship strengthens between the couple as they discover interesting character traits and thoughts of their partner. When a partner exhibits odd behavior, they compromise and learn to overlook instead of commiserating with themselves about making a wrong choice or being cheated because that does not spring as a surprise.

There is not much research done in modern arranged marriages, so it is virtually impossible to compare the success rate of the recent ones versus the traditional ones. In previous years, it has been observed that arranged marriage rates of divorce are equal, if not better, than the typical "first comes love, then comes marriage' relationship. Recent trends have shown that the divorce rate of all marriages are rising, which maybe due to the fact that society is now viewing divorce in a less negative light and socially acceptable. In conclusion, the best way to insure a successful marriage is to find a balance between both previously discussed views, while using every means possible to identify potential mates, including arranged marriages. The purpose of an arranged marriage is to obtain a secure connection between people with similar interests, needs and goals (education level, religious beliefs, similar cultural values, and financial stability). A marriage requires a more durable foundation and it can not survive on love alone.

So be wise, there is more involved in the choosing of a partner than pure convenience or pure passion. Most anyone can find something to "love, honor, or cherish' in someone else. Matches are made in heaven. We may never know how the heavenly angels' formula works, but there is palpable evidence that on this earth we have marriages where the partners find each other and marriages where the partners are selected for them by a third party, typically their parents. Although an arranged marriage differs from a love match in the after marriage life and husband-wife relationship, the principal differences lie in mate selection and social implications.