True Love And The Relationship example essay topic

For so many people one of the hardest things in life is maintaining a strong and healthy relationship with another person, but it is especially difficult in a romantic relationship. For the most part, successful relationships are based on honesty, communication, trust, and most importantly compromise. When you are in a relationship that has a foundation based on those characteristics, it makes you feel connected with that person. On the opposite end of the spectrum, however, traits such as jealousy, greed, deceit and selfishness can lead to disastrous relationships that will only leave people hurt.

Two classic books that we " ve read this semester are McTeague by Frank Norris, and The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Throughout both books, the reader can easily find an underlying theme of relationships if they look hard enough. In both novels it seems to be abundantly clear that the prominent relationship portrayed is a failed relationship. When analyzing the relationships between the people in the book, it becomes clear through the ways in which the characters interact with each other throughout the stories, that they are not actually relationships in the true essence of the word. Another recurring theme that is common in both books by Norris and Fitzgerald is the attribute of greed. In McTeague, the greed that is on display is one that is present throughout the novel.

The first time we are introduced to it is when Marcus claims that Trina's winning lottery ticket belongs to him, and it takes a tragic turn, ultimately leading to McTeague's killing of Trina and Marcus, before dying himself from dehydration in the desert shortly thereafter. In The Great Gatsby, a type of greed that is on a similar level was quite obvious within the relationships of Tom and Daisy as well as Gatsby and Daisy. This theme of greed, hidden behind the different relationships we read about in both books, was a main source of their failures. In McTeague, Norris first portrays Marcus as the closest friend that McTeague has. McTeague and Marcus meet each other "at the car conductors' coffee -joint, where the two occupied the same table, and met at every meal" (Norris 10).

One is naturally led to believe, based on their frequent meals together, and the close living proximity to one another, that the two were extremely close friends, conceivably even best friends. Based on Norris' description of Marcus as one of McTeague's closest friends, probably his closest friend, we only have access to one side of the relationship, but no real indication of how Marcus's feels towards McTeague. There are many times when one would get the impression that Marcus is actually using McTeague for his benefit. One such example is when "on different occasions, McTeague had treated Marcus for an ulcerated tooth, and had refused to accept payment" (Norris 10). Another advantage of having McTeague around for Marcus was that he would come with him on walks, so he wouldn't have to be alone. "You'd better come along with me Mac, we " ll take a little walk, you got nothing better to do" (Norris 11).

During these times, Marcus was very interested in spending time with McTeague, but as the story unfolds, it is clear that Marcus' anger towards McTeague about losing Trina's lottery money to him had grown considerably. It seems as though once Trina won the lottery, a personality switch was triggered inside Marcus that turned him from a selfless best friend, into a bitter human being, filled with rage and jealousy. He even goes so far as attempting to murder McTeague, showing the evils of money, and greed, and how it can change people for the worst. The reader can no longer assume that the two were ever genuinely in a committed friendship. As soon as money came into the picture, it is revealed that the friendship apparently was impure and tainted. In an authentic friendship under the same circumstances, although Marcus might feel a little bit of envy inside of him, he would also have been excited that his friend found the love and happiness he desired, rather succumbing to the drastic shift in personality that essentially took place.

The fact that McTeague took the initiative, and tried to work out the issue out with Marcus himself was an indication that he intrinsically valued the friendship. Marcus, however, didn't want to reconcile, and was not at all willing to compromise. This so called friendship lacked the compromise and altruism needed to survive, and it was because of this that their relationship ended up failing the way it did. Just as maintaining a relationship with someone is one of the hardest things to do in life, finding true love might be even tougher. Some people just give up on the thought of it, or don't believe in it at all, and in McTeague's case the notion never crossed his mind until the day he first met Trina.

The love that we see McTeague is involved with, however, can be no more than a misinterpretation of an affection based solely on the physical. Norris makes it known that McTeague's first experience with a woman was with Trina. McTeague was inexperienced in this field, and really didn't know any better. He was experiencing something for the first time in his life, had certain feelings from it, and misconstrued those feelings as love. Norris goes on to describe an immense animalist ic type urge, one that became so strong and overwhelming that he could not hold back from wanting to kiss her, or for that matter proposing to her, without even really getting to know who she was as a person. A relationship with a foundation based purely on lust is doomed to fail at some point in the future.

Once the people involved get passed the physical attraction, and there is nothing left for the relationship to stand on its own, the truth will rear its head soon thereafter. That almost identically resembles what took place when both McTeague and Trina declined to look past the raw physical attraction, the passion, and the immediate gratification of when they were together. Love is supposed to be based on caring for the other person, and as such, must not be hurried into. The idea is to make love last, and when your relationship is based strictly on attraction, it is impossible to sustain over time. The reader never establishes a true sense that what was happening with McTeague and Trina was true love, and the relationship can't be expected to last. There are different proofs in the book that would make you question the validity of McTeague and Trina's love.

From McTeague's side, we see his immediate reaction after he kisses Trina for the first time at the B Street Station. "The inst ant she allowed him to kiss her, he thought less of her. She was not so desirable after all" (Norris, 50). With Trina, we see her constantly questioning herself about her true feelings for McTeague following the kiss. When you kiss someone you are in love with for the first time, the reaction is normally heavenly bliss, but here his desire for her, and the adoration he had of her, waned considerably, while she questioned the relationship as well. Perhaps the biggest proof though that the relationship was based on shaky ground is seen when McTeague finds out he cannot practice as a dentist anymore.

He loses his livelihood, and Trina then denies McTeague access to the lottery winnings. She is basically choosing money over him, and this only adds to the belief that her greed took precedence over any feeling she might have had for McTeague. When any two people are in love they are willing to support the other, especially in times of need. It is obvious from this example that the relationship was never based on true love, forcing McTeague to eventually leave. There are many similarities to the "love" story of McTeague in The Great Gatsby. The relationships are lacking the same formal foundation of love; instead they are rooted deep in selfishness.

After Nick discovers at dinner that Tom is cheating on Daisy, and later learns of the history behind Gatsby and Daisy, he becomes convinced that she didn't marry Tom because she was in love with him. We even see one of the most famous quotes in the book when Daisy recounts to Nick what she was feeling when she gave birth to her daughter. "I hope she " ll be a fool-that's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool", she said, alluding to her own situation, and trying to justify how being na " ive about her own relationship was ok (Fitzgerald 24). The reader can easily figure out that it was the symbolism of what Tom represented the wealthy higher class, and the lifestyle she had only dreamed of years before that she was actually in love with. It becomes clear that it was only because of those reasons that she did not wait for Gatsby, and ultimately was the reason why she still wasn't with him.

Daisy married Tom for his money and his social status as a man from East Egg, and was not willing to risk everything she had by confronting Tom about his affair. Daisy's desire for money and social stature overshadows her own self respect, so she becomes content with the affair. As McTeague and Trina could not figure out for themselves, relationships are about honesty and respect. These traits were severely lacking within many of the characters in Gatsby, but they were no more evident than in the case of Tom. If he valued these essential traits in his relationship, he probably would not have strayed away from Daisy, and into the arms of Myrtle. If he had cared enough to avoid cheating on his wife, then he would have no reason to conceal anything from Daisy, and maybe their relationship would have benefited.

Their relationship did not contain the honesty, devotion, and commitment to one another that is vital to the success of any relationship, let alone a marriage. Daisy stayed in the marriage only because she was in love with the life that Tom was providing for her, but certainly not for what she saw in him. When Gatsby and Daisy get reacquainted with each other, the passion that they shared a long time ago seems to be materializing again. Gatsby is ecstatic because since the same moment he went off to war, he had been longing for this day.

Daisy, too, is thrilled about this second chance at love, disregarding the fact that the love may have since died, and that she is now a married woman. Although at the surface this may see like the ultimate love story, with the long lost love coming back to reclaim the girl of his dreams years later, once you delve deeper into the story you will see that is not the case at all. The relationship lacks a true substance and sacrifice for the other person involved. Both Gatsby and Daisy dangerously overlook the fact that many years have past since the war, and they are completely different people. They think they love each other based on what they remember from the past, and who they were back then. Most people are constantly changing, and maturing, and rarely does someone stay the exact same person over the course of such a long period of time.

Both of these characters seem to be neglecting this important aspect of life, and can't really see that all they have become to each other are acquaintances at best. Gatsby and Daisy have let their old feelings of the excitement of their passion interfere with their common sense. Almost parallel to the case of McTeague and Trina, these two may have sadly misconstrued their lust and infatuation for love. In both novels the characters let their desires get in the way of everything, not worrying about the effects their actions might have on other people.

Although it appeared as if Daisy was in love with Gatsby, it was the important social stature, and wealthy living which Tom provided for her that she was really in love with, even more than Gatsby himself. When a relationship has no sacrifice or compromise by one of the parties, even if they are entirely in love, the chances of that relationship lasting are slim to none. Without a doubt, Love is a fundamental and critical aspect of a successful relationship, the most important in most cases, but this story is proof that it is not the lone characteristic that needs to be taken into consideration. In both McTeague and The Great Gatsby, the relationships presented were full of detrimental qualities, and they were doomed to fail from the start.

The relationships were not based on love, but rather desire for money, power, and social status, which led to selfishness, disrespect, lying, and ultimately the ill-fated outcomes of those relationships. The characters let their selfish desires play around with their own lives, not to mention others, with reckless abandon. We were able to see how easily money and greed can take over someone's life, and turn a person with even the purest intentions, into a completely different person. Had the couples been in a more loving, caring and committed relationship, one that was based most importantly on love, the chances of working out the issues that arose, and sustaining the relationship over time, would have been a lot greater.

Bibliography

1) Norris, Frank. McTeague: A Story of San Francisco: an authoritative text, contexts, criticism: 2nd edition. New York: W.W. Norton & Company, Inc., 1997.
2) Fitzgerald, F. Scott. The Great Gatsby. England: Penguin Group, 1994.