Venus By John Gray example essay topic

Mars And Venus I am following up on the book of, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. by John Gray. Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus was been a very interesting book. The book brought up some very interesting facts about both sexes. While also remaining very general to cover basically everyone and simple for everyone to understand. So simple in fact that I saw everything in there as being common sense; but also at the same time being hidden from the obvious senses. In the past the news has done interviews with John Gray and his recent students.

It has basically shown that whoever who has gone to John Gray for advice in a troubled relationship has came out as basically a new couple. I find it hard to believe for one man to have all the answers. Also why is he seems to be the only one with the answers Why are all the other men in the dark about women Why are so many women in the dark about men Now I will look into the book to see just what makes John Gray so good in the field of opposite sexes. I am just going to sum up the points in the book.

Right off the bat Gray states that we men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Gray states out the tendencies Martians tend to have. Also he states out how the Venusians are like in their time in Venus. But the interesting part is he states out these qualities by giving the two different stories of origins.

Gray lets us know that Martians and Venusians are of two different species. And that to start loving one another we have to except these differences and learn more about the other race. One difference is Martians and Venusians speak different languages. The Martians and Venusians languages had the same words, but the way they were used gave different meanings. (pg. 59) Miscommunication. Joh Gray shows a very obvious point of why men and women sometimes have such hard times getting along to each other.

We men tend to take things too literally and anything else we take as an attack against us. Women tend to say sentences which have deeper meanings. Some of the phrases men easily misinterpreted are: We never go out., You dont love me anymore., or The house is always a mess... And for these phrases we have some dumb response like, We just went out last week...

In telling people that both sexes speak two different languages I can see how Gray is helping couples out. Gray is in fact in encouraging people to be more sensitive to their mates and to be very communicative. Also to try to be more understanding of their partners when there is something troubling him / her. I say Gray gets one point for bringing up such a good point.

Onto another point I award to John Gray. John distinguishes Martians and Venusians have very different cultures. There are things in which guys do that the does not interest the female and vise versa. I agree with John on the point that men usually like to solve their own problems. It makes a male feel needed and useful. Women on the other hand like to talk out their problems.

They dont actually need people to help solve their problems; but people to hear them out. In one of the sections John said that guys are generally Mr. Fix-its. With this pointed out to me by John Gray I can now see why fights break out. When a women has a problem she would probably go to her mate to hear her out.

Being the Mr. Fix-its we are we try to solve her problem right away by disrupting her with advice. So in time the natural phrase from the Venusian is, You dont listen to me. Of course the male just thought that he was paying attention and helping her out. But with this line the Martian is probably on the defensive end now because the Venusian now made an attack on him. And a big mess could get started. Understand this concept the Martian has got to learn on how to just sit, listen, and support his Venusian counterpart.

On the other hand John also tries to explain to the Venusians that Martians need their space. Martians can not be forced to love according to John Gray. Men are like rubber bands. I am not sure about this theory of Grays. I have not seen anybody feel that way yet.

But it is probable true. According to John the more you try to love your Martian and the more you try to make your Martian love you the more you push your Martian away. But if you let your Martian move about by himself then like a rubber band he will naturally come back to you. I know I need my space but I have yet to experience finding it hard to love back if she is really close to me.

But I think Johns rubber band theory implies the feeling of over commitment of some men. I think when a Venusian starts to hint to the Martian about their future together is forced love. If it is so I can see why a Martian would want to back away. Marriage is a big step. Or if the Venusian is trying to take time away from Martian bonding I can also see why the rubber band theory applies.

So a valuable lesson is learned hear by the Venusians. But this is a tough skill to handle. How much time is enough time John Gray didnt say. I guess it depends on the couple. Basically the other part in the book is teaching the Martians and the Venusians how to communicate. Which I think is very vital in every relationship.

He also gives hints on how to keep the spice in a relationship. After reading Johns book and evaluating it through research and questions I find John a strong man in what he is saying. To find out if this man seems to know all the answers I did a little research myself. Just to see if John Gray is as accurate as he says he is.

My test was very simple and should not be at all intensive enough for any adequate information to be taken from it. I came up with a list of qualities in which a person in general would want in a relationship. The qualities in the list are: physical appearance, honesty, support, love, fun to be with, energetic, loyal, friendship, romantic, intelligence, goals, self-esteem, and personality. I also asked for any additional comments they had to put into my research. I will not give any names out because these are my personal friends and I do not wish their privacy to be intruded upon. The information given to me was to only be known by me and to be used by me and not to be used for any other means.

There is a major flaw in my person research. Even though the facts are stated as they are my fall out is I cant make anybody tell the truth. I can only take what they have said and use it as facts in my report even though they are lies. Results in my research are different as night and day. On a grand average the guys way of listing is very different from the girls.

My hypothesis going into the research is guys would rate physical appearance higher on the list than the girls would. So it was no real surprise to me when I found my hypothesis to be fairly accurate for the limited number of people that I had. On average the guys always ranked physical attractiveness at the top half of the list. I also had guys who ranked as their number one and number two in their list.

In all the guys I only had one John Dough who was willing to give up physical appearance. John Dough is one of the reasons why I said my list could be false because of people choosing not to tell the truth. As a friend I know John Dough likes a girl who is very attractive to the male heterosexuals eye. Ive got some pretty interesting reasons why physical attractiveness is so high on the list. Some were, It is the deciding factor on if you want to get with the person or not... It is the first thing you notice about a person.

It is also the first thing that gets you interested. Only after that then does personality comes into play. Of course being a guy I find this perfectly understandable. Also I see the reasons as being perfectly logical. On the other hand, the girls almost always ranked physical attractiveness as in the bottom half of their list.

The girls tend to go with what personality that seems to makes them the most happiest. It is not to say that all girls are perfect. Every once and a while some of the more weirder types of qualities came up. I shouldnt say weirder qualities since it almost looks like almost every answer should be on top. From the lists of the girls I can also understand the male side of why are women so hard to understand. The varieties the lists varied in.

I mean no two girls was the same. Each had qualities that they could not do without. No first pick was the same for the girls I had in my test. The only common ground I could link all the lists to. Generally girls are more interested in the guys personality than in a guys physical appearance. Even though there was a vast verities of answers to my survey there were a few that had almost always stayed near the top of the list.

With love as always ranking near the top and the honesty and support probably coming in for a tie for second. But the real trick is not from picking from whats first in mind but what is important in a relationship. What I mean is what cant a relationship do without The ones that can not be cut out are the ones that are crucial to the relationship. In the end John Gray has proven himself enough to me to see that he is truly a Martian who knows what he is talking about.

It just doesnt fail to amaze me that he knows so much. But is it because John knows so much is because he can sit around and think about it. Would it be easy for him if he had to apply his own ideas to himself I dont know. Talk and action are two entirely different things. Or maybe his Venusian relationship is going extremely well because he knows his grounds. Well after my survey done all I can conclude is Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus John Gray, Ph. D. HarperCollins Publishers, Inc, ., 10 East 53rd Street, New York, NY 10022.