Verbal Aggression In An Argument example essay topic

Everyone uses different defense mechanisms to help them get through frustrating experiences. There are three major types of defensive mechanisms that I use most frequently: rationalization, verbal aggression, and displacement. I often rationalize a situation before getting mad, that is, I often try to consider all courses of actions and choose one that will lead to my desired end result. Is it really worth it, or what is there to gain? Consequently, I often avoid a confrontation or bad a situation by taking to time to think before I speak. This avoidance of conflict helps me keep my stress level to a minimum at the same time it prevents be from speaking out sometimes.

I began doing this as a child looking for ways to avoid arguing with my stepfather. He, like others I know, always enjoys a good argument. He is very talented in finding the shortcomings of others. As a boy I can remember arguments starting over a spot I missed while vacuuming the living room.

But, only after repeated arguments, did I learn that it was not worth the aggravation to defend myself at all times. Because there are so many individuals like my stepfather that take pleasure in aggravating others for their personal enjoyment, is why I seek the rational answer to the problem. Instead of being drawn into the argument, I rationalize the situation and either try to ignore the problem or just walk away. I also have the tendency to be verbally aggressive when I feel angry or frustrated. Although I try to think before I speak during an argument, I often find myself so frustrated, I cannot verbally express myself and make sense at the same time.

So, I usually end up exploding with verbal gibberish, bringing up non-related issues into the conversation. I can distinctly remember an argument over some money issues I was having. But during the argument I had become so infuriated that all the blame was being passed onto me that I attempted to draw the attention away from my self by pointing out household choirs that had not been done. Although it had nothing in common with the argument it was enough to take the attention away from me. I have found that after I use verbal aggression in an argument I have not solved the problem but only made matters worse by avoiding it.

I also have the bad habit of displacing my aggression. For instance, there are plenty of times when I am verbally attacked or bothered while at work but I have to wait until I am home before I can vent. This is unfortunate for those around me at home because, as much as I try not to, I often bring work home with me. For example, on occasion my manager comes out of his office screaming my name across the shop. Then he will proceed to talk down to me loud enough for everyone to hear.

This embarrasses me in front of my colleagues, but I must refrain from loosing my temper at my manager for fear of his reprimanding me. So I often see myself bringing my frustrations home with me and unwittingly taking it out on others. On numerous occasions my girlfriend will ask my why I am so grumpy, that is when I realize that I am directing my anger at someone who is not deserving of it. Although we all use defense mechanisms to defend ourselves when we feel as though we are being threatened, the three I use most commonly are rationalization, verbal aggression, and displacement. We should all take the time to think about how we react to different situations and, if at all possible, correct our actions before making matters worse.