Wife Of Sugiyama example essay topic

Reflection paper regarding "Shall We Dance?" Dancing is regarded with suspicion in Japan because public display of affection and intimacy is considered indecent and outright scandalous. Even married couples had to restrain from temperate public display of affections, such as holding of hands, saying "I love you", or even dancing, because it was thought to be "beyond embarrassing". Thus it would be safe to say that dancing with someone else other than one's wife is even more disreputable and appalling. To American audiences, dancing may seem like no big deal, but apparently in Japan, ballroom dancing is frowned upon as another vulgar, low-culture import from the West. This mentality of the Japanese towards dancing and open display of affection was constantly reflected in this movie. The scenes of where Sugiyama had to hesitate before enrolling into dancing class, had to look around before going upstairs to make sure that no one sees him, had to keep this a total secret from family and co-workers all convey Sugiyama's attitude, which here represents the Japanese culture's attitude as a whole, on dancing.

Apparently, he felt that his association with the art of dancing was deemed shameful, and he had a good reason to believe that. Not only did he hear from Donny, a close friend and co-worker of Sugiyama who had practiced the art of dancing for 5 years, that dancing is a "Dirty lecher", he also saw the banter reactions of his co-workers when they found out that Donny was dancing. To top it off, there was even a phrase said in the video suggesting that although this "shameful" dancing is not appropriate in the Japanese culture, it is perfectly suitable in the Western culture because of their preference in living. "Ungentlemanly behavior. It's a British sport after all". This cultural view on dancing does not differ much from my Chinese cultural values.

From what I know, the Chinese really emphasize on cleanliness, modesty, and good behavior. Dancing and outward displays of affection goes against all of these three elements in that in a sense it seems to imply that it was ok to indulge in self-gratification. However, as an American born Chinese, I do feel that dancing is appropriate at times, and I do not feel shameful about it. Compromise over Confrontation is an important value prized by the Japanese and is embedded in all aspects of people's history, culture, and way of thinking.

This predilection on compromise by the Japanese is best reflected in the movie "Shall We Dance". There is a particular scene in the movie where this mentality is best portray. In the starting of this scene, the wife of Sugiyama became deeply suspicious with the whereabouts of her husband. She, as her last resort, decided to request the services of a private investigator to spy on her husband. While talking to the private investigator, the wife admitted that she is not absolutely sure whether or not her husband is having an affair, and even if he is, she is reluctant to confront him about it because she was afraid of losing him. Her desire to learn of her husband's "affairs or activities" without confronting him and her wish to stay with her husband even if he does have an affair is a perfect portrayal of how the value Compromise over Confrontation is put into work.

Another scene that reflects this value was when Sugiyama's wife laid out his perfectly ironed tuxedo for him to wear to this farewell party for Mai. Ever since his family found out about his dancing lessons, Sugiyama stopped dancing altogether probably because he felt that it was shameful for him to do so. Sugiyama's wife knew that if Sugiyama went to this farewell party, he would be dancing with another woman. She knew that for a brief moment in time, Sugiyama would be engaged in a close intimate relationship with another woman rather than with herself, the alleged wife.

Despite all of this however, Sugiyama's wife was willing to let Sugiyama go to this farewell party. She was willing to take in consideration her husband's desires and wishes. If this situation were to repeat itself in the Western culture however, a fight would probably have erupted as soon as the wife confronted the husband about it.